Help guys! Your opinions, how much he should text before meeting in person to know if he is interested?

[Aniaa_1997]

We meet online still didn't manage to meet in person but we are gonna schedule meeting... So my question is how much should he text and invest before meeting in live? If he don't text much or asking a lot of questions does that mean that he is not very interested or is normal? And also it is normal to want to meet very fast even if he don't know a lot about me?

[SteveSmith1985]

So there isn't any set rules here exactly.

The most important consideration for whether its time to meet, is how YOU feel.

So, the longer you chat before meeting, the more sure you can be that you're actually interested in the guy before meeting (keeps you from wasting time on a guy you won't work with).

It's not a matter of how much he invests in you. This is a mutual thing. Both of you are evaluating whther or not this is someone they want to continue talking to, and eventually meeting.

The problem with a guy wanting to meet right away without knowing you at all is: That's more likely a guy who is most concerned with getting sex. That's the advantage (in his mind) to going out with you this weekend (rather than chatting with you for another 2 weeks).

That doesn't mean it is automatically a bad sign if a guy wants to meet quickly. It is a bad sign though, if he has a problem with waiting longer and getting to know you better.

Keep in mind, YOU are expected to invest as much as the guy. If you look at it as "how much he should invest" you aren't going to see him text all the time. Even if he really likes you.

He is evaluating you; just like you're evaluating him. If you don't "invest" back equally, the guy won't keep texting you without you sending first sometimes. You are responsible for 50% of this working out. Don't think it's up to him to show you. You need to show him too.

🙂

[Aniaa_1997]

Thanks for your opinion...
Sure I writing first too sometimes but still I think that guy should pursue more than girl and show his interest in her.
And about the other sex part that might be right , but I clearly told him that I not that kind of girl...
I can't understand this guys who thinks that some girl will immediately go in bed with them!
But if he asked me to meet based on my looks it clear what he wants...

[SteveSmith1985]

If he wants to meet you and seems way less excited to talk to you more before meeting. That's when a guy might be looking for sex. Don't think that just because a guy suggests to meet that he's after sex. It's if he seems way more exited to meet you than to get to know you (which he can do chatting)

"still I think that guy should pursue more than girl and show his interest in her."

Unless you are a traditionalist in other ways (women do the cooking, housework is woman's work, and a man's opinion should carry more weight than your own)... how do you figure any guy is going to agree with that?

You're setting yourself up for unecessary failure if you think this way. Guys expect you to show equal interst. The guys who don't... well they have some more..."traditional" views about gender and gender roles and duties.

I would love to hear why you think it fair in any sense: that a guy should show more interest in you, than you show in him? There is no case to be made (go ahead and try if you want)

I'm not trying to argue it with you. But it's just ridiculous, and most guys will not oblige. So you'll end up feeling guys aren't as interested as they actually are... when their messaging drops off because they feel like they're :"chasing" you. No guy likes to feel that way. You're expecting it as a matter of course.

[Aniaa_1997]

Well I think that sex is first on men mind when they like some girl or start talking... So in my case he liked me because of my photos on dating app , not because I have beautiful mind... he doesn't know my mind yet , he just saw couple photos of me...
And I must say yes I not "feminist" I prefer traditional way when man pursue woman..
So yes I think that men should chase more than women especially when he knows that girl is interested in him and in my case I already showed him that I interested with agreeing to meet with him...
And like I said he only text to ask me for meet no between so I guess this is very low investment from his side
Like woman I can reach him few times but if I do that all the time he can aslo think that I chasing him...

[SteveSmith1985]

"Like woman I can reach him few times but if I do that all the time he can aslo think that I chasing him"

Oh I was never suggesting that. Now if your traditionalist, that's totally valid... just not if this is the only thing you feel that way about; but expect things to be equal the rest of the time. If you're actually traditionalist in your gender views, then I'd say cool. Let him do the pursuing.

But yes, if he only wants to meet, and doesn't seem interested in getting to know you as a person, then yea he likes your picture and is probably hoping for sex. Agreed low investment on his part.

[Shiprex]

How much do you want him to text?
Are you seeking textual validation? that's not a thing really. Maybe try calling and talking so at least you can speak words to each other

[bowenw]

I would be very careful about meeting someone early on, especially if they are pressuring you to do so as that is a sign of a player.