Not really sure what to do with this girl anymore?

[Anonymous]

so I’ve know this girl for three months now, we see each other a lot at the gym. We both went through a chaser and avoidant stage and now things are kind of stagnant and she’s become distant with me. There was a lot of chemistry in the beginning stages. I wasn’t always so clear with my feelings and intentions and she’s given me opportunities and chances to say what I need to say. I feel as if it’s too late to tell her now. Need some advice. Thanks

[SteveSmith1985]

Why would it be too late? Nothing you wrote here suggests it's too late. You had chemistry, but weren't as clear as you wished you had been about your intentions and feelings.

Ok, so, it makes sense that she became distant if there seemed to be something there, she gave you clear opportunities to show your interest (whatever those may have been).

She felt the chemistry, didn't get the idea that you wanted to do anything (missed opportunities)... so now she doesn't know what exactly to make of mixed signals... and becomes distant.

Why can't you just tell her your feelings and intentions. The opportunity is seeing her at the gym.

If you like her, don't do the same thing. Don't regret ANOTHER missed opportunity to be clear with your feelings and intentions...

(by convincing yourself it's too late for no reason)

There is an opportunity to do this, the next time you see her at the gym.

No reason to assume its too late.

[Blueeyes81]

Once they stop showing interest it's time to move on. You missed your chance.

[SueShe]

What are your final intentions, your ultimate goals with that girl?

Is it to get into her pants? Because this is how your question comes across.

She is probably aware of your intentions and that is why she is slowly distancing herself from you because she realizes that she is probably just another number on a body count.

I would suggest that you forget about her and concentrate on someone that is easier to get at than she is and that will accept to be chased for the one thing.

Obviously, this lady is not really interested in being solely another name on a list of other conquests. Give her space.

[Asker]

I haven’t been in a relationship for 10 years now. Although I have forgotten about my ex the trauma still holds me down. I really want to get into a long term relationship with her and she’s helped me heal in a lot of ways. I haven’t told her any of this. So ur probably right that she thinks what you said

[Asker]

I don’t date to just have a body count or for sex. I really like this girl but I have a hard time with commitment and being open about my feelings. I bottle thing up all the time including with my friends and family

[Asker]

I’m willing to open up to her and tell her all this too but I just don’t know how she’d react

[SueShe]

I could imagine that she is distant because she believes you might carry an emotional baggage that may be impairing a normal relationship.

Talk to her about how you are processing all those events and that you are willing to let her help you get over the trauma.

[Asker]

Thank you this was very helpful

[beefcakebradybatson]

As the boy, you'll likely have to make the first move towards cementing your relationship.

[In_Trance]

Forget about it.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Perhaps, but perhaps she's a buxom blonde.