Is it possible to fall for someone even though they’re not your type?

Question

Okay so my guy friend my former classmates claim that he’s has a crush on me for years but I’m always paying attention to guys that are out of my league or don’t notice me. My best friend definitely knows he likes me a lot.
She and I were discussing dating and I said dating sucks today and no man is decent. She looked at me and said, “Hello! There’s a guy that likes you for a VERY LONG TIME. He is a very great guy. He’s loyal, kind, he never abandoned you at prom or anything unlike that jock that was so mean to you. Wake up! I mean you’re smart but you’re just so blind to see what’s in front of your nose. Even your parents family knows he likes you.”

I don’t know why my face feels flustered. I told her that we are only just friends. Yeah we went to the dances three times but AS FRIENDS.” She said, “HELLO! He’s asked you to prom, EVERY dance and he even asked you out so many times. You call that only seeing you as a friend? Plus you only use him as a cry on the shoulder and talked to him like your little brother.”
I said, “No I don’t. Yeah we’re all autistic but he……isn’t talkative as much and he doesn’t make me laugh or whatever. He’s not my type or attractive.” My best friend said that’s a bunch of BS and so what? He still likes me and even to this day he is in LOVE. She said sometimes your type isn’t always the right one. Then I said I will NEVER EVER fall in love or like him romantically. She said, “Ahhh I wouldn’t say that because it does happen. Sometimes you end up falling in love with someone that has been in front of you for YEARS. Feelings do develop. Honestly I think you do like him deep inside. Hey may be the right one for you.”

Look I’m not the most attractive woman either and I’m not fit, gorgeous or whatever. I have a chubby body and I seen to attract less attractive men.

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

I need you to listen to me carefully here. I know I am giving you good information on this specific situation. I DO know what you should do. There is a right answer to this, and you will find it a little further down.

I am very confident in what I am about to tell you. You also made this SO clear. I wish everybody gave such a good question description.

This is NOT possible. You could never fall in love with this guy who has loved you for years by getting together with him romantically.

It doesn't work like that. What COULD possibly happen... is that over time you come to realize you are actually in love with this best friend... who has been in love with you for years. THEN you can get together and live a fairytale love story. THAT happens.

This is a totally different situation. Your friend is mistaken. Badly.

You don't have romantic feelings for him, he has serious longterm romantic feelings for you.

If you were to agree to go out with him, given how you feel about him... you won't ever develop romantic feelings for him. You aren't feeling attraction. So any of the stuff a couple does that brings them closer together (anything, handholding. anything) is only felt on his side. You're 'faking it till you feel love'. You feel awkward, he feels like you're not happy with him.

He will feel that somethings not right. He wouldn't want you to get with him in hopes feelings might develop. It's almost cruel to get with a guy who cares about you like this if you didn't reciprocate his feelings. He would feel like he won the lottery... only for that happiness to be... not... what it should be. It'll fuck up your friendship, and break this dudes heart.

**Never get with a guy you don't like. Never stay with a guy you don't like. Don't pretend to like a guy more than you do (for any reason). Date only people you are excited to be with. If you're not excited/happy to be with them, you shouldn't be**

I am way too tired to write you the good response you deserve. This is just so clear. And so important, I can't let your friend give you well-meaning, but bad advice (because it's mixed up and therefore wrong).

Keep your friend as only a friend, unless someday you feel totally different. Then get together.

🙂

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Yes.
What you think is your "type" is just an image in your head.

I had a series of long-term, infatuated relationships with girlfriends from the time I was 16.

I met the last one when I was 36. She was 30. She was my image of the ideal feminine physically. Plus I loved her personality, style and everything about her. Sexually, she was the most amazing girlfriend I had ever been with.
We loved each other and lived together for almost two years. Unfortunately, for reasons that are too complicated to explain, it turned out that we could not have made it as life-long partners.
We separated even though we still loved each other. Being without her was the greatest pain I have ever experienced. It took me a year to pull myself together and move on with my life.

When I was 40, I signed up with a pre-internet dating service and went on several dates.

I made a date to meet one lady at a restaurant. When I first saw her, she was very attractive but didn't match the "my type" image in my mind. She was taller, had different hair and eye color than my "preference" and was wearing a conservative dress.
But once we started chatting, our conversation flowed. I never got along with anyone so well in my life.

Long story short, we continued dating and I proposed a year later. We got married a year after that and have been happily married now for over 28 years. We've had LOTS of fun and built a wonderful life together. We are best friends and dedicated partners who work together and have each other's backs through thick and thin. I trust her completely. She's an inspiration.

Valdemort · Accepted Answer

I mean... a type is just a preference without any knowledge of who they really are.

ohsheeT · Answer

This is when true love happens. Falling for someone who not your type.. or someone who doesn't fit the picky mold we all created in our dreams on who we wanted.

When we grow and we really like ourselves
The way we see others becomes different
You can find beauty in someone you might have said know to in the past
You feel a different type of energy from them you enjoy there Character as they speak and do things

When you really love yourself you can actually find something beautiful about everybody With no drama, no judgment. Because you become more honest with yourself. And you could care less with other people's think about what you see another people, because that's just who you are, there's nothing wrong with that.

Yes, it is very, very possible. Embrace it
Because it does happen It might teach you something about
Yourself other people. And just life
And don't be afraid to look even deepor feel something deeper

Summeroflove · Answer

This happens all the time including when people date a certain type but those people never really work out in the end. So many times people start changing their type as well as being attracted to other types of people.

At the end of the day if you feel attracted express it and see where things go. You never know what will work unless you try. Just take things slow and see if you see one another as being compatible.

exitseven · Answer

Sometimes opposites do attract. I dated a girl for a while who was the opposite of any girl I ever dated. She was not athletic, she did not go to college, she worked as a bartender and really had no other aspirations beyond the next party, truthfully she was not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Still, there was something about her that I really liked. It really was pretty crazy when we dated.

NicholasRedone · Answer

Broadly speaking - studies claim all humans mate or find a mate to mate who fits their needs - be it short term long term or half term - some folks are scanning their surroundings for one of the big three - they either just want a lover, they want a boyfriend or they want a husband (because they actually want a baby)

Jay-_- · Answer

I'm responding off the question only. Yes you can, it's called true attraction, it's not just looks, you fell for the personality which is definitely 10 times more important than looks.

PaleDale · Answer

It happens a lot (like to me also)

BarryLiverstone · Answer

It’s not likely

Anonymous · Answer

I’d say so.

Smile456 · Answer

Yeah I think so

Is it possible to fall for someone even though they’re not your type?

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