Why do I a chubby fat tall woman attractive less attractive, fat men no offense? Can I still flirt with other guys?

[Anonymous]

I mean I’ve always crushed or chases guys that were that my friends claim, “Out of my league”.
The gorgeous or good looking girls get the cute or good looking guys. I know there’s some that get average looking guys.

I was the girl that isn’t afraid to be funny, has guys as friends but I’m not the girl most guys would turn heads for. My three best friends are slender, hot, beautiful women and short. Well shorter than me (one is 5’2, one if 5’3 and the other 5’5). I’m the fat one. I’m 5’10” 3/4, and chubby. I’ve always been overweight my whole life. Never thin or at a healthy weight. I’m currently 238lbs. I’m working losing weight and getting fit.
I always seem to attract chubby, fat or not so good looking guys. My friends said, “Girl you keep getting hurt by these guy that use you, humiliate you or break your heart. The most good looking guys will mostly likely to break our hearts.”
They also said that my guy friend has liked me for YEARS but I don’t even notice him or looked his way. He always asks me to school dances, valentines he asks to be his Valentine and he NEVER talks about other girls around me. I always use him as a shoulder to cry on when a guy breaks my heart. Not always. He isn’t that good either. He’s chubby and I’m not attracted to him. He’s 6’1”. I introduced him to other girls in the past. but he isn’t interested.

My hot friends attract cute tall or good looking guys. My mom even said I should give my guy friend a chance and he is genuine and he is such a gentleman to me and better than my jerk ex boyfriends. My dad likes him and purposely asked if he had a girlfriend and I’m a good catch and he got himself a good woman and I’m intelligent. He jokingly said I was his girlfriend.
Even his mom knows he likes me.
The problem is I told him I don’t like him and rejected him so many time. That’s why I’m trying to lose weight so I can attract the guy I want. I guess I’m not allowed to flirt with other guys anymore.,

Updates

1 y

Everytime I meet a guy or go on dates, my guy friend ruins it and tells guys I have a boyfriend and he’s my boyfriend. I got pissed off everytime! I’m allowed to flirt with other guys. I know he jokingly said I’m his girlfriend but I’m allowed to flirt with other men. We’re not dating.

[SteveSmith1985]

I can help you here. You should only go for the guys you're attracted to. It's not bad advice to not confine yourself to a type if that type seems to have been repeatedly a problem (only if you really do think the type of guy has been the issue. Usually that's if you tend to like bad-boy types, or ladies man types).

Otherwise, don't start thinking you need to go for guys who you aren't actually attracted to. Don't get with your friend. You don't see him that way.

You can flirt with any guy willing to flirt back. THAT is how you tell who you can flirt with. If the guy isn't into it... he won't flirt back. But I don't like how people are getting in your head about trying to go for guys who are not attractive to you, in hopes that things will work out, or that he'll treat you better.

I think that's bullshit.

Unless your friends can say something like "you always go for the guy who...(something decidedly negative). Then I disagree with their advice.

They can't just say "date less attractive people" if you're not attracted to them. Plus you obviously can and do get the kind of guys you like. So they aren't out of your league. You just need to look at any commonalities when it comes to what happened to end relationships in the past. (there may not be anything in common).

Unless you've got a problematic type of guy you go for. I think you should just keep doing what you've always done... going for the guy you liked more than any other guy. THAT is always the way to go.

🙂

[HighValue]

Fat women are undesirable. Tall women are less desirable than short women. Good quality men have more options and won't choose someone of lower quality when there is much better to choose from.

It is really that simple.

[Asker]

Okay fat is undesirable is one thing but why would you say tall women are less desirable? I’ve seen tall women in amazing relationships so you’re wrong about that.
I mean I would be less desirable that I am 238lbs and I’m 5’10” 1/2 almost 5’11”
My shorter slim friends always get attention from men and have boyfriends. That was very harsh.

[natured]

I'm sorry, this was a lot to read because I smell not just insecurity but also shallowness,.. Is that guy really that UGLY that it urks you? Will you be happy just by the LOOKS of someone? It's not fair to Men that actually have it together and are caring.
I'm not bashing you, but I was always that "good looking girl" attracting bad and handsome boys, and guess what it never phased me because I respected myself enough to not get involved with liars and cheaters because most of them are. Other than that, beauty is subjective and I get it, but I don't think you're in a position to pick and choose someone based on their looks, you have to start giving people a chance that are actually there for you and seem like decent human beings instead oof going just for the looks and be unhappy most of your life...
it's up to you I might be wrong

[Nikki1989]

There are no leagues. It has always been a myth.

[Asker]

No leagues? I guess we’ve been lied too.
I’m allowed to flirt with any man I want, if my guy friend gets upset then that’s not my problem, I told him I only like him as a friend. Stop calling me his girlfriend

[Anonymous]

I have a question. Why does you fat ass keep asking the same question? I mean it seems less like you're asking. And more you're just complaining about it. You know why! It's for the same reason Scarlett Johansson isn't returning my calls. No one is surprised by that one either.😆

[slatyb]

What? You call fat men "less attractive". That's how the more attractive men think of you. Have you considered losing weight?

[scott04sa22]

Insecurities and shallowness

[jahaims]

You said absolutely nothing

[Red_Arrow]

She sure used a lot of words saying absolutely nothing. Can;t understand what she wants to know.