Why do I only attract fat women?

So I understand fat women need love to, I'd don't want to be the one doing the loving in that way. I've dated bigger women and was discussed by them except 1 but that that will never work again. With the exseption of that one I'm never sexually attracted to them. I love there personalitys but I can't force my self to be attracted to them. I'll talk to them I'll be me I'll treat them with respect just because I believe everyone deserves that respect. doesn't mean I want to go out with them. I had to kinda hurt someone this week cuz of it. Secound day I was talking this women ( she really wanted a relationship) I told that I'm not attached to her like that she has a great personality but don't feel the same way. she was a good 300 ponds I didn't say anything about her being fat because that would be Rude but I'm don't want to be the guy to give fat chicks love like that. There are people who love bigger women I'm not a big fan.

Now im a 165 pound white guy i like to stay someone fit but I hate gym. I'm more of the guy who would walk 17.5 miles through a rainforest in Washington state. ( if you don't know hoh valley look it up its beautiful) I'm a nerd I'll I hate talking about my self a lot of the time because what I do other then hike is game Pokémon mainly. I'm in school full time adopted and cocky etc.

why do I attract big women?
Is there away way I can be unattractive to big women and not be unattractive to smaller women?(more my weight).

Im getting tired of hurting these women they don't deserve it but I can't force attraction what do it do?
Why do I only attract fat women?
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