Are men really turned off because I'm chubby?

Question

I'm a 23 year old, community college grad, currently working on a degree. I'm smart, funny, and pretty easy going. I'm also not the girly-girly, and can keep up with my 'guy' topics like metal music, star wars, and business. I've only had one boyfriend during freshmen year and since then I've been totally single, not even asked out once.

The 'but' is that I'm chubby or above-average. Is that really a huge turn-off for guys?

Jinmetsu_Rasetsu · Accepted Answer

Honestly,  You have been dealt an interesting dilemma.  I will say this, for a certain amount of guys, you are unattractive.  For others, you aren't chubby enough, then for others, it matters not.  What you probably need to do is stop waiting for dimwhitted men (yes, we can be dimwhitted when it comes to the availability of women) and show a little agression on your behalf.  Basically what I am saying is that you should not just wait there like you are some item on a buffet, you must present yourself like the special of the day that is at a lower than usual price and agressively market yourself...  I am not saying whore yourself out, but in some cases you must find a guy you like and (figuratively) sell yourself!  Especially the idea that you are into certan guy things.  I mean, I am into metal myself, not star wars...  I am more into star treck  (REAL sci-fiction, not fantasy adventure disguised as sci-fi..lol)...  Anyhoo, find a guy with common interests and get to know him better...  You will find there are some guys that will overlook your self imposed flaw and look at you for the loving young lady that even you view yourself as...  or even better!

Brando · Accepted Answer

For some, yes. I don't like coming to these kinds of questions and reassuring you with a lie, so I may sound harsh. But yes, some guys just don't like chubby girls. Some guys don't like blondes, some don't like brunettes, some don't like tall girls, some don't like short girls.

I'll use me for an example. I have liked a few girls before that were "above average". They were thick, but not obese which is what I think you are trying to get at. But I'm a smaller, slimmer dude. Girls who are too much bigger than me don't appeal all that much. I wouldn't get uncomfortable, I just don't have too much of an eye for bigger girls. So yeah, avoid pricks like me and you'll be fine :)

prettyj · Accepted Answer

i think for sure it's an individual choice, I am a bigger girl, successful and have never had an issue with dating at all. it maybe a need of right place/right time issue for you finding dates. yes some guys like the model type some guys dream of that  and other guys like us voluptuous women a lot better, heehee! I think you need to focus on feeling better about yourself, you have already recognized good qualities in your self like being smart and funny. when you reaffirm these qualities and start to find and recognize other things that you like about you it makes you carry yourself differently, it really does! this then transfers into your sense of confidence and confidence is such an attracting force! plus when you feel that good about yourself, you realize that people who like you for you are the only ones that matter :)!

Dominique_7 · Accepted Answer

It really depends on the guy I think. If you feel comfortable with your weight, you're healthy and you eat well, don't worry about it. If you don't, try to do something about it.

But do you really think it's the weight that's the problem? You say you can keep up with "guy topics". Maybe if you're into this kind of thing guys see you more as a mate than as dating material. If you're a bit of a tomboy and treat guys like they're your friends, they may never see you the way you want them to. If you present yourself in a more feminine way and flirt a little bit, that can go a long way.

nermalinda · Accepted Answer

Despite a lot of the hype, a lot of guys don't mind or even prefer chubby girls. Usually what girls consider thin is too thin for most guys.

Don't take it personally if you're not getting asked out. Maybe a lot of guys think you're really cute or cool and get shy around you. Maybe you're shy?

A lot of guys (especially cool guys) are more interested in personality. See what other things you could work on to get more dates. Don't worry about it being your weight because most likely, most guys are not turned off by that.

31Ross · Answer

Here is an honest answer form a normal guy, yes weight matters for guys to check you out if you want a good looking guy. No you do not need to have an hourglass body, I'm in shape, but I have found a lot of girls who are just a little chubby to be attractive. You just need to be in shape and trying to get better. Remember guys want girls who are sort of in their league, as in rating system from 1-10. If a guy is an 8 he wants a girl from about 7-8. If a guy is a 10 he's looking for the 9-10 girls etc. Not trying to come off mean or a d-bag that's just how attraction works.

rocket-boy · Answer

i've always thought that skinny girls were my type,with perfect bodies tall,top model type!

until I fell in love,then it doesn't mater if she's skinny,tall,... actually the girl I fell in love with has pretty much the same personality as u,she's not the girly-girl type,we like the same music and everything,thats what matters in the end not the looks but what's inside,in your heart,your soul!

so don't give up! sometimes people don't realize real beauty they're just blinded by the outside figure! and as they say never judge book by its cover! :D ;)

Pandatoast313 · Answer

It depends  on how chubby you are, guy's are highly visual creatures, If you are more chubby than the renaissance women in old paintings and such ( more than two to three handfuls of belly fat roughly) Then maybe so. I honestly like my women a little bit chubbier, or physically fit, skinny or boney I straight up hate, but if your felling insecure, just run a mile or two each day and eat less sweets and breads, and you will lose wieght, worked like a charm getting fit in football and now I is sexy! Oh, and watch your calories , they are most important, eat a couple hundred less than what you normally eat, 1 lb of body fat = 3000 calories.

rbalaguer · Answer

If your chubby then work it, happiness comes with a positive attitude. You sound like someone I would hangout with and gladly would. You wasn't dealt a bad hand in life for being chubby your views about your self reflect who you are and are perceived by others. some people will like what they see and others will love it (positive view = success + negative view = failure). Perception of self goes beyond the physical...

DegenDen · Answer

Depends on how chubby you're. I don't mind a little here and there but are you lying to yourself? Are you really fat? Either way you should go to the gym if you want to attract the opposite sex. There is nothing sexier than a lean muscular body on a woman. I will guarantee you if you go to the gym regularly for the next 6 months to a year you'll have plenty of men hitting on you.

anynymoooooose · Answer

Chubby can be really hot actually, but you have to show us a picture because just like skinny isn't always nice, average isn't always nice, so too chubby isn't always great. It depends on a lot more like how the girl carries herself, dresses, what her skin is like, if she's even pretty...

MsAmazon · Answer

It's actually the preference for some men.  Some actually adore women with more curves.  Try hanging out in different places than the usual.  You could be surrounding yourself with the same group of men.  My question for you is... are you comfortable with your size? If not, that insecurity shows and that alone is not an attractive quality.  Good luck.

jglassmyer · Answer

Post pics?

For me it's not even whether a girl is chubby or not. It's if you're cute, have nice hair, and carry yourself like you're sexy, I'm all in. You sound really cool. If 'you're concerned about your weight, start exercising. Even if you don't end up skinny like society says you're supposed to be, you're body will function better and your self-confidence will improve. Guys like girls who take care of themselves.

mandingo1203 · Answer

First off the fact that you think metal music star wars and business are "guy" topics IS a huge turn off. A true guy likes sports, girls, cars and in a sense being a little proud that he is a man! That being said being a little chubby is not a turn off I likea girl with curves and a little extra cushion for the pushin is not bad at all

hersheyskisses · Answer

Honestly, your body does matter. It just depends on the guy. I'm not a guy so I can't speak from a direct POV but from what my 3 brothers girlfriends are like, guys do care about your body. Its kind of like your first impression or judgement of a guy, and lets face it, a lot of us make our judgements on whether or not we are going to pursue a guy/girl because of a first impression which includes the body, face, ect. Some guys just like the ultra skinny, some like the average, some like thick girls. I would say just work with what you got. There could be a guy who really isn't attracted to chubby girls, but if he sees that you work with it, and wear clothes that fit your body and make you look as good as any of those skinny girls out there, it wouldn't be a factor. In long summary, I hate to say this cause it doesn't help but it really depends. Different guys like different things.

Bam_dice · Answer

i really don't care.. maybe workout more and do a lot of cardio. The reason why your like the weight you is because you have excess calories in your body. If you workout a lot more and do cardio you can lose body fat and if you decrease body fat the more your chubbyness you lose. You seem like a nice girl, don't worry about your weight cause when it comes to guys who cares.

bklynthickness23 · Answer

Not really...I was like that and turns out on my FB page I get inbox from guys saying how they used to have a crush on me or that they like me...im chubby or fat,but they say I'm thick and honestly most guys prefer a thick or bigger girl...not obesely fat. Here's a trick that got guys droolin over my fat ass: dress to bring out your curves! Wear tighter fitting jeans and nice sexy tops and not be so tom boyish(not sayin you are) but get sexy and wear dresses with big belts and if you have a sexy top dress that up with belts...girl trust me I'm a big girl size 18 and these men lose there mines when I walk down the street. I use to have a problem getting guys now I turn them down left to right! Good luck sweety

Reginelli · Answer

I don't see it as a turn off. Weight doesn't affect if I like a girl or how I feel about her. You can just as sexy as everyone else. It could be other reasons you been single a while, but don't look down on yourself because you feel chubby or above average

Anonymous · Answer

Physical attraction is superficial, usuall the face followed by the body its only one part of attractoin. Mental attraction or personality is important to. Someone is either attracted to you or they are not, you can do things to make yourself more attractive  just depends on what you want or you can lower your standards and date guys no one else wants...

prettiestwreck · Answer

if you're not too big I think its all on how you're shaped ,i'm a little over average but I'm a hour glass to the extreme (waist 12 inches smaller and a flat stomach) and guys talk to me all the time .

Bvroon · Answer

I've never really been hung up about weight issues, so for me I would say no. Personality and the such are big points for me and you can still be really pretty even if you are a bigger girl.

Dan2287 · Answer

It depends how chubby. For me PERSONALLY it doesn't bother me all that much - the face and especially the eyes are further up the list. But for some guys it may be a turn off

TheTaxMan · Answer

Most guys generally only like the girls what have the supermodel type of body, the classic hourglass shape.

Jonny_ · Answer

I like some girls who are chubby. I think it can be adorable! It depends though if they suit it or not.

martyfellow · Answer

It's not huge, but definitely a turn off   A lot of us think if you're chubby now as a young thing, what will you be like down the road?

Samsen · Answer

Depens on "how" chubby we are talking about. But there are far more important things for me.

JJBravo · Answer

NOT for all men.  If your other qualities are in place like you said, then you are all right.

travis8888 · Answer

guys are highly visual. some guys like curvy women. it all depends

Anonymous · Answer

if your waist - to - hip ratio is bad and you look pudgy and fat then yeah I think losing weight will help

Anonymous · Answer

Seriously, why do people on here tell people what they want to hear.

mchase88 · Answer

Not me.

Are men really turned off because I'm chubby?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Are men really turned off because I'm chubby?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.