How can I tell if he is into me? How can I give him subtle signs that won't scare him away?

[nonamoose]

So I have this friend of a friend that I have made recently in the past year, and over the time that I have come to know him better, I have found out that I really like him. Ideally, I would want our relationship to strengthen as friends first and foremost, but I would also like to explore something that goes beyond friendship with him. However, I am not sure how he might feel about it. He seems to be pretty comfortable around me when I sit close to him, and whenever I talk to him in a flirtier tone, he doesn't seem to shut the conversation down in any way, so there may be something there. Also, there was an instance where we both had to kiss each other, albeit it was for a drinking game, but there were hard set rules of consent in place, meaning that he could have rejected kissing me if he really didn't want to- which he did not, but this could have been to be nice and not reject me in front of everyone. Also, the kiss was just a peck- no tongue. So, it wasn't really that big of a deal, but still. He also always invites me to hang out with him and his friends whenever they get together, to which I usually take the bait. He is probably just inviting me because he sees me as a good friend, but I can't help but question if there is more behind his invitations. Another important thing to mention is that there is about a 4-year age gap between the two of us (I'm 24 and he is 20- we are almost exactly 4 years apart, and our birthdays are coming up in May). I don't mind dating 4 years down, but I just don't know if he minds dating four years up, especially because he has a sister who is 25. I have a feeling that he might feel weird about dating someone who is nearly their sister's age. So my question for the guys is, have you ever hung out with girls with no ulterior motives? Is that normal for a guy to do? Another question for everyone is how can I show interest in him without seeming weird?

[Blunky]

It's sounding like you are your own barrier to this. He seems to want to spend time with you. That's already a good starting point. But it sounds like you're making a lot of assumptions here without actually asking him about his own take on things.

You can't be certain the kissing thing was just being nice. It could have meant a lot to him as well.

You describe being invited to hang out with him as taking the bait and question his motives. I don't know of a single person who invites someone they don't like to hang out.

A 4 year age gap doesn't mean anything (underage being the exception) and his sister's age is irrelevant. This is honestly the first time I've ever heard that as a reason to avoid dating someone.

It's completely normal for guys to hang out with girls with no ulterior motives. Most of my friends are women mainly because I find "bro" culture annoying and childish. Does he just invite you then not talk to you or does he try to include you in everything while hanging out?

Seeming weird is the risk we all take when we want to show interest but nothing is going to happen unless you or he shows it. A good place to start would probably be asking him what he thought of that kiss. Ask him about his opinion on things to show you're interested in him rather than letting your assumptions fester on the idea of him.

[Shiprex]

Ask him if there are any romantic feelings and open up about your own. Do it in a kind compassionate way and he should reciprocate.

[Anonymous]

Why not ask him to hang out, just the two of you? Go to a movie or something. With my partner the first time we were alone together I asked what he was doing after work he said "nothing, just grabbing a bite" I invited him to mine for tacos.

[Unap0logetic_]

Think of how you would treat someone who you value. Someone who you really respect and care for.. if they’re aren’t treating you in a similar way, depending on what you want, this is how you will know. (For the most part)

[slatyb]

you are an adult? invite him to lunch or coffee or whatever

[In_Trance]

Ask him