Dating/suitable match: is it wiser or stupid to seek out a similar partner or why/not?

Question

I'd be the first to say I'm pretty stupid. I often think most women are out of my league, and these women look just as fit as me.

I suck at maths and get scared easily lol I'm a real nerd. Should I only date women who seem very much like me - neither of us for bad eyesight lol - when it comes to confidence levels and intelligence levels and drive matching - drive as in motivation not referring to sex drive.

I for one often think most women are out of my league.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Are you quiet irl? I always see you commenting under other user's opinions and assumed you would be very talkative, lol...  Be nicer to yourself, man. I'm sure you aren't a loser.

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

if you two get scared too easily... then who is going to deal with the scary bugs invading the house?

Levin · Answer

Good question old boy.

I think you need someone on a similar spiritual, intellectual, emotional and physical level.

Actually, Myers Briggs for it's criticism, is actually quite helpful here. The middle two letters are the ones that are important. Because you have thinkers and feelers, and sensers and intuiters (ie how people derive their information about the world). I'm an iNFj. As I say, the NF bit is very important. I'm highly aligned with other NF's. Whether they are extroverts and introverts I find this bit crucial. So while you can tinker around the edges with difference, if you get someone who thinks in a very different way this can be very grating. Plus NF's are very empathetic and loving, generally, which is perfect for me as I can reflect that back. I've been with introverts. As an introvert myself, these relationships are very peaceful and comfortable. Extroverts can be more fiery and get you out of your comfort zone. As long as they have that loving aspects all is good with the difference.

I find this is why you can get conflict in a relationship, because of a misalignment here. But relationship is very complicated, and I don't mean to simplify it. On observing people, men and women, they often are lacking in a lot of qualities. I think unconsciously we seek out difference to provide those aspects of ourselves that are lacking. So traditionally that could have been in old school male and female relationships. Men as the provider, woman as the nurturer. How modern relationship dynamics have a lot more factors.

I think if you try and make yourself as whole as possible beforehand, it means you need less from other people and thus can have deeper kind of relationships that aren't based on necessity.

thegreenyogi · Answer

It depends. I think we generally attract people who are quite similar to us. That said I'm not attracted to people who are identical to me. It's nice to have differences because it complements both people in said couple making it more exciting, interesting... I easily get bored. Lol!

bddddd · Answer

I'm probably going to be controversial, but... I think you would be best served with a partner that complements you, rather than one that is the same as you.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't date a similar partner, girls I like are dominant, I'm not.  Opposites attract.

Booboolove69 · Answer

Similar is familiar and that feels safe to me

slatyb · Answer

They aren't out of your league.

Dating/suitable match: is it wiser or stupid to seek out a similar partner or why/not?

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