It's some peoples own fault that they're single agree?

[Razp_Sorbet]

Fumbling hard

I saw it a lot years ago when I was on dating apps and it seems to still be an ongoing issue.

"Oh you're way too good looking to date someone like me" like? Ok now I don't want to because you sound pathetic.

Guys asking to be rated like the number is what their entire personality feeds off.

The disbelief that they constantly mentioned because someone actually wants to talk to them.

"You're just going to ghost me eventually anyway" well yeah now I am because that's a weird thing to say.

It's okay to have insecurities but it's not attractive to be blasting them to the world and potential dates. You are your own worst enemy.

[QuestionObsession]

Just on that screenshot chat in the question - whoever the girl is, she literally confirmed what the guy was worried about and reinforced his insecurity and proved that "tall girls don't go for short guys".

If she really was not the typical tall girl he was referring to, she could have easily said - "Oh that is a cliche or stereotype thing and I am not one for it, don't worry" Or anything to that effect.

But her very immediate next line was - "Ok then I'll unmatch I guess" - Seriously? lol

Right from the start she seemed snobbish, entitled, sarcastic - "Luckily I can read" - why such highhandedness? It is a chat with a potential date, not a fucking argument with your spouse.

The guy even said - "I was just saying" - He was simply voicing a cliche thing.

----------------

Now, whether someone is their own worst enemy or not? Sure. Everyone is a slave to their beliefs and insecurities therein. But the same entitled snobbish sarcastic woman would camouflage into a totally different person if the guy was a hot shot. Dismissing or rebuking someone just because they voiced their insecurities, is what careless people do. Who themselves have their own insecurities which they most likely keep hidden.

There are all kinds of people. Some keep their insecurities buried and bring them out when they are well into dating someone and then fuck things up for the other person. Others are vocal about their insecurities right from the start to gauge if the other person is worth it or not, and save themselves the time and effort that will go to waste.

There is no one true way about this. And neither is it cool to go around slamming those who choose to be vulnerable. The fact that someone would dismiss a potential date just on the fact that they expressed some cliche or stereotype insecurity, means that the one who dismisses has an insecurity themselves about dealing with clear communication and providing assurances. Both of which are fundamental for a good relationship.

[NathanDavis]

lmfao... okay, I must say this

about a couple months INTO my relationship with the college ex-girlfriend... and give or take two/three months as friends previously... I'm not sure what got into me (I was 20 years old by the way... so, long time ago) but I did say to her "why are you even with me? you could have any guy (this is where I stopped my mouth)" and as soon as I said I felt it, and she didn't say it... but she was like UGH!!!

in my mind, at the moment... I was thinking something more like... "how did I get so lucky? how amazing are you and you're with me..." lmfao, but it came out sounding way more cringy and kind of insecure too, she didn't like that AT ALL, and she did let me know it too, it pissed her off greatly and she almost got second thoughts about reconsidering it all... if it weren't because she already knew me way better than that it could all have ended right there

so, yeah... I can imagine how it would be for a girl to hear these gems dropping on the first date or approaches.. lmfao

definitely a lapsus brutus on my part...

[Rosexøxø]

I agree with the title but the vibe on both sides of the screenshot just seemed very hostile and tense to me 😬😬.

I just thought “chip on the shoulder.”

These people come into things with baggage and it just ends up setting something off on the other person and vice versa. They walk in with unhealed wounds and it’s like asking for trouble. And merely covering and hiding (lack of transparency or being fake) doesn’t help the real and true to grow. But if neither made it past the talking stage then it just wasn’t meant to be. I feel like a genuinely good connection between two would result in them being understanding /sympathetic or even able to relate to each other and the pains that each went through. On some type of level. It should just flow. Like naturally. And those two definitely didn’t have the flow.

Even if he hid his insecurity about height if it’s a big deal for him to talk about then it’s a big deal and I just know even with her he’d be continuously entering moments of doubt and some low confidence noticing the height difference between them. That stuff can’t be denied hidden or unleashed on to others in aggressive ways. It has to be dealt with/resolved so people can move on and just breathe better.

Their own fault to be single? Kinda. More like their own actions and behaviors but that’s all in response to inner pain stuff. So in my opinion not necessarily their faults. I just think it’s gonna be a big issue and roadblock their own mountain to climb/ or hurdle. Cause they never crossed/ overcame that before. And it’s difficult to cultivate a genuine and wholesome relationship when you lack the flow and carrying a burden like that. And that goes for both sides/parties. But again, that’s just my view about it.

[Finchie40]

Some people just set their standards and preferences way to high , only wanting what they feel is best for themselves don’t get me wrong , it’s ok to have some standards and preferences , but not wise to stick exactly to them whatsoever, because no one on this planet is perfect whatsoever . The problem with society today is social media feeding most of our heads with nonsense. Making people believe they only deserve this imaginary person they have set in their head , this imaginary dream person they envision in their head , someone that is very attractive and intelligent and has their shit together , that will sweep them off their feet every second of the day. Good luck finding that shit lol

[ohsheeT]

Of cour.
Se I mean it's like me
I can say that I want to be in a relationship but if I do nothing about it That is not going to happen

When you're hungry you go get something to eat right

If you want to go someplace in your car's out of gas you go when you put gas in your car


It's the same thing you put yourself in Or in places So you can meet people

[AviatorTom]

I never considered being single a fault. Call it an opportunity or a situation, that may change.

[Avicenna]

A lot of the time, yeah. Either they don´t try to be dateable or are too picky or unstable.

[OneViewpoint]

ROFL... the entire MGTOW Incel movement fits into this category.

"We're not even gonna try because you might say no and that would make us feel like a failure. If we never try we can just claim that women won't date us and we are taking charge of our lives and moving on."

Loser logic and a coward's courage. It spills over into every aspect of their life, not just dating. Career. Education. Self respect. Assertiveness. Self confidence.

Yeah, some people are the primary reason their life sucks. But they either can't or won't see it. They lack the ability for introspective thought and/or the ambition for self improvement. They also avoid risk like the plague. Cuz that's scary.

Women are tripping over each other to get some of that, LOL!

[Lliam]

It's definitely true for some people. But there are some people who have physical or mental deficiencies that make them unsuitable for relationships.

[ProbablyClueless]

For sure! I think that's true for most single people. I haven't met too many people where I interact with them for an extended period of time and genuinely wonder how they're single.

[Anonymous]

A very large majority of the world has unwittingly injected themselves with mind altering, DNA changing poison that removes empathy and makes people rude, abrupt and demonic... don't expect dating to be anything less than futile...

[AnonAndrew]

If a person behaves like in that screenshot, and rejects themselves, then it's for sure their own fault.

[WonderingManII]

I think sometimes people don't give each other enough grace. We all got issues we need to work out. But people are constantly focused on "is it attractive or not."

[Anonymous]

I think you misinterpreted their remarks. What they're really saying is "You seem like a vain, shallow person who dismisses anyone who's not a cocky Chad." They were probably right.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Train wreck of a convo on both sides tbh.
Genuine attraction isn't going to involve assumptions, nor insecurity shaming.

[Jay-_-]

I 100% agree yea. I couldn't blame someone for being single, "sorbet IT'S YOUR FAULT IM SINGLE" like what? How? Lol

[shortster]

If I matched with someone on a dating app I would be happy that they messaged me and wouldn't care that they are taller than myself.

[blackeagle007]

I see what you’re saying. But let’s face it, majority of good looking women think average looking guys are creeps

[jahaims]

It's always you're own fault your single. Who else's fault would it be but your own? lol

[LiamJHayden]

Yes, some people who are seeking a relationship do end up self-sabotaging.

[Pohjolan]

To a extent but to a extent it's luck like how well he did in the genetic lottery.

[kaucky1]

Too many haters and others that think they doing me a favor pretending to be me💫✨✨✨💢💨💨💨💨💨💨

[Kelly6]

@Razp_Sorbet This made me laugh

[In_Trance]

It's always their own fault

[Jay-_-]

Exactly...

[RedInnocent69]

It usually works that way

[petitedollbabee]

No doubt about it.

[Agape93]

Absolutely

[yotaman99]

It’s mine so yes

[eagle1951]

it's a choice