My bd said he don't want me but said if I get another boyfriend & if he around our son he would be mad. Why would he say that if he don't want me?

[Anonymous]

[Screenwriter]

This is about protecting your child. He's the child's dad and he's invested in that child living well.

There is a salient rumor that step parents and boyfriends are not invested in other people's chlidren and are often resentful of them. There have been numerous instances where jealous women and men have abused or killed someone else's children.

Be very careful about who you have around your child and take your time getting to know someone new before bringing them home to meet your child. I don't know how old your child is now, but instruct your child about age 4 about what appropriate behavior is between adults and children, so you child is never touched inappropriately.

I've met people who were sexually and/or physically abused and it often ruins their lives for many years, if not forever. Be very, very careful.

And dont advertise that you are a parent of a young child. Child molesters LOOK for single mothers. Just put out your personal info alone. If you find the person passes muster, then on a second or third date, tell the person you have a child.

If they sincerely like you, they may be flexible. If not, they weren't for you anyway. Good luck.

[Ariesman81]

Well said. No man is gonna have a better interest in the child's life then the father.

[Screenwriter]

@Ariesman81 I'm going to disagree with you there. Some fathers have NO interest in the children they create. And there are stepfathers who take over from absent dads and do a better job.

What I AM saying is that you have to VET the men you finally bring into your home. I know a man who is in his 40s who is closer to the stepdad who showed up when he was 15 after his errant dad was no longer around.

I know fathers who never paid a cent of child support though the mom was. doing all the heavy lifting and he barely visited.

My only point is to take care before introducing your children to unknown men.

[Ariesman81]

I'd say that's a very small percentage of fathers. And most of those fathers were probably alienated by the mother. I can think of 4 fathers personally with similar stories.
But I agree, being selective about the men who have access to your kids is important. But just because the mother deems them "appropriate" doesn't make them good fathers. After all, being friends with children doesn't make someone a good parent.

[ohsheeT]

Because he's Like five years old

First of all, when he walks away from you, he walks away. He has nothing to say and he doesn't have anything to say. Anyway, he's not in control of you. He doesn't own you , he doesn't own your son

He need to grow up.
He needs to pay child support. He need to Communicate with you like a Responsible man that loves his child and you need to make sure any guys you have around your son is a positive In clothes are they can't be around him

But your boyfriend needs to be able to communicate with you without a big fat mouth. Because all he's going to be doing is teaching his kid out. Of treat women and that's not right, so he has to do. It needs to grow up in order to do that

[Joshydavid25]

It just seems to me like he doesn't want another guy around you guys child.. Which is unreasonable, but I think that that's his main focus..

[Staximus]

Next time be more selective about the guys you have kids with.