I don’t know how to feel about this, because I know it’s a little realistic, but it gets to me?

[Anonymous]

He can’t even define what we are. we are long distance at least 200 miles from each other.

He said he knows how things are with people in relationships. You could end up losing interest and we both could meet someone else. I just feel uncomfortable by him saying that. He said if he met someone he would let me know and he would hope I would do the same.

Updates

1 y

And that we both can find all the future will go, which I totally understand, but I don’t know how to feel about it since he can’t even define what we are. And he “still wants see know where things go.” It’s been like eight months. He said he doesn’t know how because we’re a long distance and he can’t take me out on dates all the time to see how things will go

[SteveSmith1985]

You are 100% right to be concerned. He absolutely should be willing to define you after 8 months. It is a huge problem that he won't. I don't know how to sugar coat this. He owed you an answer. The fact that you didn't get one is unacceptable.

Usually, a "relationship" ("boyfriend and girlfriend") is defined by exclusivity. When both people agree to not see other people. You guys did agree to that (it's essentially the same as agreeing to tell each other if you meet someone else).

So agreeing to that, usually means "we are now in a relationship." That is what you should be at this point.

The fact that he's hesitant to define this (even though he actually did agree to the exclusivity... he was really clear about it not being a "relationship" or a "girlfriend" situation).

I don't know what the explanation is. It's not good regardless.

It could be plain old intimacy issues.

It could be that he is still looking for someone in real life (that's what it seems to imply if you don't agree not to see other people, but rather to inform each other if you meet someone else).

You are justified in pushing this. He is not justified in fucking around with his answer. You can ask him why he won't define it. Every relationship is uncertain. You always have to 'see what happens.' That's no reason to not be in a relationship with someone.

If he isn't willing to define this after 8 months, you need to either force him to, or walk away. You are not in a place to "see what happens" after 8 months (obviously). Don't get hurt staying with a guy whose commitment doesn't match the emotional investment.

If he isn't willing to call you his girlfriend after 8 months, you need to walk away. Otherwise you're definitely going to get hurt. He is not defining it for a reason. You are totally right to be unsatisfied with this. It's a problem. A big one.

[Mrtcn01]

Long distance is sucks. You can’t get a shoulder when you need you can not hug when you need and also you can not get real dick and vagina when you need

[Anonymous]

He's just being realistic. Ldr's are silly. They're generally for people that aren't in a relationship, but still wa t to pretend they are.

[Anonymous]

You need to move on and find a man who is looking for something real.