Girls, did she lose interest and should I stop messaging?

[Anonymous]

Hey, I’d really appreciate a woman’s perspective. Here's the situation, laid out simply:

Met a girl on an online call room on Friday, April 25th. Instant connection.

We called on Sunday and Monday, and texted on Tuesday and Wednesday.

During that time:

She called me from work, and when I said I didn’t want to distract her, she kept finding time to talk and assured I'm not a burden.

She sent “I miss you” text few hours after that call.

She sent a “Good morning” message Wednesday morning.

First thing she texted after exchanging socials: “Did you miss me?” at midnight.

Another time she said: “I’m glad I could hear your voice today.”

Another time, I muted myself for 10 seconds during a call—she asked if I was ghosting her.

Then this happened:

After an entire day of no contact, and 2 days of just texting, I told her to call me whenever she's free.

She saw the message, started typing, but… never sent anything.

I eventually deleted the message so I wouldn’t seem too eager.

My questions:

Based on this, do you think she still likes me?

Why do you think she started typing but didn’t send anything?

Is she pulling back… or am I overthinking it?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts!

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry but you just don’t sound like a great candidate at all, and while there may be another reason she left you on read, if this is her way of ghosting then I wouldn’t blame her. I don’t even say that to be insulting, it’s just true. It’s like one day shy of a week you’ve known this chick and in that time it’s as if you wanna be chased because what prevented you from reaching out in the time you didn’t speak? And why when you reach out it’s to ask her to call you rather than doing it yourself? Why is she having to give you so much verbal affirmation of her interest yet you didn’t write any of the comments you’ve made to her? Because it sounds like you’re too scared to be vulnerable or to show you give a damn and that will always screw you over with women. You could communicate with this woman easily, ask her out on a real date rather than texting or just leave her alone if you think she’s too busy to fill the role of the woman you want. Instead you’re playing these games because you don’t know any better. I would start to lose interest as well if not put all the way out.

[Asker]

My aunt died and I had to console my grandmother.

[Asker]

Well I've called and contacted her but I can't control the loss of a family member. An entire day of no contact isn't bad if I texted her a lot the night before.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sorry to hear that news, a passing in the family is always rough and it’s kind of you to console your grandmother. However I can’t help but think that you’re using this horrible news as a bit of an excuse for why you haven’t reached out. Not saying you weren’t hurt over this, obviously you were and I’m sure it took its toll through that day. But sending this woman who you want to be part of your life a quick message just to fill her in on what’s going on within it would’ve been better. Letting her know you’d be awol for the next day or so would’ve taken no more time away from consoling your grandma than the time you took to walk to the kitchen. I mean it’s Saturday and this has all taken place within the week, so I’m guessing she is still heartbroken and will be for who knows how long to come. Yet you’ve probably still had to return to work, handle personal business, eat, bathroom, and basically function your day to day life despite your loss. On top of that, you made no mention of this passing in your original post which you’d think someone would if it were really the catalyst as to why you didn’t reach out, because that would be an important piece of information.

[Asker]

Yes but you're comment seems kinda harsh to the make experience.

I've been sending her texts back showing emotion. I just didn't write my responses on this thread.

[Asker]

"You're using it as a bit of an excuse." Damn that's cruel.

So I guess men can't feel sadness or take a simple break. Have some heart.

You do realize I didn't even resume my work/school for a while.

Plus if I messaged her daily you'd probably call me clingy if she ghosted me anyways.

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry, I’m not trying to be cruel whatsoever. Certain words are uncomfortable but sometimes there aren’t better ones, so I said “bit of” to emphasize that this only feels like a slight excuse, not full. Sure you could’ve taken a day or two from work and school (it couldn’t have been more since it’s only Saturday), but did you not take a moment from your grandma to do even little things? You couldn’t send this woman a text while on the toilet? Or while warming up some food? It take literal seconds to cue her in. Messaging someone you’re trying to build a relationship daily is not clingy, I mean the point is to be together daily anyway, right?

[Asker]

We met just online though.

[Opinion Owner]

And yes, you can absolutely take time to be sad and I never said you shouldn’t. I’m quite literally only talking about letting this woman know what’s going on, even if you took the rest of the day (or next few days) to yourself, at least she’d know why.

[Opinion Owner]

Even if you met online, that’s not how things are supposed to stay forever, correct?

[Asker]

Correct. Miss by the way I'm 19 and have been told girls find it werid for a guy to text everyday.

Can you at least give good advice instead of semi bashing me if you're older and wiser.

[Opinion Owner]

They probably meant that it was weird if you’re clingy, texting a bunch throughout the day. There is not a woman I know who wouldn’t want to hear from the guy she likes at least once a day. In fact that’s one of the main reasons women get upset with men, is when the good morning or goodnight texts every day stops or if she doesn’t hear from you for days on end.

Anyway, you don’t have to try and me be so egotistical and try insulting with ageist comments, I have made it clear and even apologized for if you feel as though I was cruel or whatever even when I don’t think I was at all. Right now it just looks like you don’t want to take accountability for the fact that there was a moment, or a second at some point in that day, to text her. And part of why you chose not to was because you think women don’t want to hear from you every day. My advice is to stop being so egotistical and just act on how you feel. If you want to talk — talk. With this woman you may have blown it by letting her do most of the work because of your pride and not wanting to look desperate or like you’re chasing.