I want to ask her out but it's a little complicated how do I do this?

[Cormac995]

So, I decided to get back out there and try dating again and there's a girl that works at the grocery store that I go to that I've kind of developed a crush on. You know the ones you kind of get in passing that make you a little bit self-conscious and stand up straight around them?

I kind of want to ask her out for coffee but here's the problem. I don't know how to. We don't have anywhere or anything else in common that would let me ask her out organically and asking her out at work would be both uncomfortable for both of us and incredibly inappropriate of me. I definitely don't want to overstep or make her uncomfortable, but I literally have no idea how to ask her out given these circumstances.

The only thing I can think of is sliding her a paper with my number on it quietly but that feels like something you do in grade school. Do I just have to say fuck it and accept my situation sucks?

Updates

1 y

Update: Bump.

[Shiprex]

Next time she is in there you should go say to her, Hello, I am @cormac995 , sorry to bother you but you are very attractive to me. Could I ask you out for lunch or dinner sometime?

That way you are just having a normal conversation, you've expressed an interest and what outcome you hope to achieve and give her an opportunity to be straight with you. Showing confidence but vulnerability is more human than some under the table as if you're embarrassed about having an attraction to her.

[Cormac995]

It's not that I'm afraid to ask her out the problem is I'm worried doing it at her work would come across as inappropriate and rude. That's why I'm asking if it's ok.

[Shiprex]

It's at a grocery store and you can have conversations with them.
A way to do it would be to ask her if she could help you with something
When she says of course, you say there's this girl who works in a shop nearby that you need advise on how best to ask her out. When she realises it's her you're talking about then she can give you the green light or tell you how to best ask her then you do as she says.

[Cormac995]

Unfortunately she's a cashier not a stocker.

[Shiprex]

Make sure there isn't a queue and roll on down there with some gum and kick off a chat or better still have nothing and say I would like to buy something that's not on the shelves here. It's on the checkouts and see if she gets it. Asking her if she help might put her in a nurturing frame of mind

[Cormac995]

I prefer to be direct but polite and not go for lines like that. I was planning to say something along the lines of. "I've seen you here a few times and you seem really sweet. I'd like to get a coffee with you if you'd like to so, here's my number." Then I'd hand her the slip with my number on it and leave politely maybe give her a smile or something.

[Cormac995]

At least this is the best I could come up with that was short direct and polite.

[Shiprex]

Good call. I'd be more into trying to be creative so it's memorable for her in the event that it becomes something to remember and try to stand out.
Good luck

[Static_In_The_Attic]

My brother from another mother grow a set, walk up to her & say the following.

If Covid doesn’t take you out can I? If she laughs you got her so slip her your phone number on a piece of paper leaving the ball in her court.

[Cormac995]

Dude It's not like I'm afraid to ask her out I'm trying to figure out how to do it without coming across as a creep or being inappropriate. Asking her out at work feels like crossing a line. I mean dude we live in a world where telling someone they have pretty eyes can get you called into HR bro.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Do you work with her? Above you said there's a girl that works at the grocery store that I go to that I've kind of developed a crush on.

[Cormac995]

No, I don't work there I just shop there. I guess my phrasing was too vague.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Bro if you don’t work there just go for it & HR can’t do shit about it.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

A crush is just a crush & a crush will always be a crush unless you change that. In life if you like someone you shouldn’t be afraid to tell them & in life if you never try you will never know. As for me I rather try & fail rather than not try at all.

[Cormac995]

That was just an example to prove my point about how easy it is to overstep. Like I said I want to and plan to ask her out but I just want to be careful how I do it.

[Cormac995]

Being disrespectful isn't very appealing.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

I absolutely agree. Truthfully thinking about I don’t think you should ask her out.

[Cormac995]

I do want to at least try I just want to do it the right way. So far, I'm leaning towards @Abbycado advice. I just have3 to figure out how to word things.

[Abbycado]

No, you don’t just give up. When she stocks fruit say “nice melons”.

I joke. Don’t do that.

It’s perfectly acceptable to give your number and let her think it over. You might be surprised.

[Cormac995]

So do you think handing her a small note with my number would be ok?

[Abbycado]

Yes, but you need to say something too.

[Cormac995]

like what? I haven't really done this in years, and I didn't have much luck in the past. I've always had trouble coming up with an Ice breaker. You want to stand out, but you also don't want to come on too strong or you look like a dog.

[Abbycado]

Just remember that she’s working. There is no magic phases that guarantees success here. All you want is to implant the idea.

Just hand it to her and say you noticed her as you shopped and would love to buy her a cup of coffee if she is interested. Done.

[Abbycado]

Ty for mho!

[Cormac995]

you're welcome it was good advice. I haven't done it yet but that's the plan soon depending.

[Abbycado]

Good luck! Hope it works out!

[Anonymous]

I know how you feel, I have the same issue, that's why I'm still single.