Am I wrong for wanting to fix my friend up?

[Anonymous]

I matchmake. It’s what I do for my friends and not to toot my own horn, but I’m good at it. I’ve brought so many of my friends into happy, healthy relationships that eventually turned into happy marriages. I have one friend of over 20 years who I love dearly. She’s super pretty, kind, well educated and would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it, but she’s can’t pick men for the life of her. She recently got out of a ten month situationship (that she calls a relationship but I correct her because they never labeled it so that’s bullshit) and is insisting on taking a break, but I know she wants to give up. I know this because she has a pattern: gets involved with this assholes, doesn’t demand what she wants just leaves everything up to the guy and then gets hurt when he meets another girl who actually stands up for herself and demands what she wants, and then she just swears off men period. It was a chore getting her back into dating after the last guy did that to her

I want so badly to fix her up with someone, but she won’t give up control of her dating life and tells me to butt out. It’s such a shame because I know so many decent, older single men who would love to have her. Some have even seen her in Facebook photos I tagged her in and messaged me asking “is your friend in that pic single? If yes can you introduce me to her, please? She’s beautiful”. And I tell them about all of her wonderful qualities and then they’re even more interested in her. Then I tell her about them and she says “I don’t want to be fixed up. Stop trying to matchmake me!” and then I have to tell the poor men she doesn’t want them.

This last asshole dropped her three times and kept going back to her. She rejected a really nice guy who would have treated her well for this jerk! I told her next time he did that I’m fixing her up whether she likes it or not. He dumped her on her birthday. I gave her a month to cry, and she FINALLY agreed to let me pick out her guy

[Finchie40]

You aren’t wrong for trying to set her up , but don’t bank on it , if she decides otherwise , the truth is , it’s still going to come down to her decision on what she wants to do. Even though she agreed to let you set her up , it doesn’t mean that’s going to be a match made in Heaven. Most people in general experience bad seeds before finding a good one , just the way it goes for some people, unfortunately your friend is drawn to asshole guys’ and only she can decide if she wants a nice guy or another asshole guy. But it doesn’t hurt to try to set her up with someone , just don’t bank on it is all I am saying

[Asker]

No she said she thought about it and she’s letting me pick someone out for her because she’s tired of dating assholes and getting hurt. She wants to let me do it now because she realizes that she can’t pick men for the life of her

[Finchie40]

Then nothing wrong with that , if she is allowing you to set her up , hopefully by you playing Cupid she ends up with someone good for her

[Anonymous]

Maybe you have a control problem? If she says butt out, maybe just butt out?
Your intentions, to you, are good but that doesn’t mean she has to appreciate it especially when she’s told you to butt out.
I’ve had a friend like this, she thought she knew what kind of guys were for me but I wanted her to stay out of my dating life, she couldn’t, kept pestering me to go on these dates so I cut her off.
Zero respect for boundaries or for me.
Some people genuinely don’t like people doing this and getting involved.
Personally, it’s incredibly weird for me. I hate these situations.
Others are okay with it.
Everyone is different.

[Nikki1989]

Fine, if you don't mind playing with fire.

[beefcakebradybatson]

With a cover boy handsome older black chap !!!

[slatyb]

No, but if they aren't interested, leave it.

[Chocolatetwopointtwo]

maybe let her control her own dating life?

[Anonymous]

How are these guys exactly?