Did I set my friend up for a bad situation?

[Iquestioneverything]

A bunch of my friends and I did a Holiday clothing collecting to donate to charity, it was my idea and I was in charge of the event. We donated used clothing, and/or asked other people we knew. Each person had different clothing to collect (picked at random). One of my Guy friends got womens belts to collect for the donation. He has been going to his dentist for years and the staff know him well and are friendly. Except the dentist all staff are women, so he thought to ask there. The main admin helped him and got all the other women to donate belts to him, without her help he wouldn’t have gotten any clothes to donate. The donation for Christmas went great.
My friend ended up buying a large bag of candy to give all the staff as a thank you in January being he had an appointment at the dentist. I had two extra brand new belts I didn’t need and were too good to donate to charity, and had the idea for my friend to give the main woman at the office the belts as a thank you, and say it’s from me because the staff member was very kind and helpful and I was in charge of the whole holiday clothing donation. Well, my friend gave her the belts and contacted me right after his appointment. He said right away she asked him why I wanted her to have the belts and not donate to charity. He explained and she said to tell me thank you and she will “find someone who wants them”. My friend was unsure what to say to her. But he said she didn’t look happy, and just put the belts back in the bag. Nothing like she loves them, or will try them on later, or anything to indicate she wants them. I know if someone gave me a gift they liked they would act happier. Before he left he saw someone else looking at them, but not the woman I wanted to have them. The belts cost $80 total, I’m upset because if I knew this I would have just kept them. It did dawn on me after, I completely forgot what if they aren’t her size, nobody was going to ask that. My friend told me he is embarrassed now.

[teamvic]

You may have, but not intentionally

I dont think it's about the size it's more about the whole,"Donate clothes and stuff to the less fortunate" Then you have him go give belts to those women. See how it's making them look like he and you think she's the less fortune.

Either that or how it doesn't make sense how you'd say you want to give to the less fortunate but exclude your belts because the ones you wanted to donate them to, weren't, good enough for them or something? You had people collect stuff they didn't need but then you gave belts, the same thing you had him ask for. Back to them kinda like. Well if you need belts why you giving me yours

Even though it may have not been your intent. And didn't even consider that and were trying to be nice. It could look like that to others

[Iquestioneverything]

He explained that I got the belts for a Christmas gift after the donation was over with. So if they wondered why I did not donate they weren’t paying attention. Plus I have the right to do what I want with my property, especially giving them to someone, they should have been more grateful or simply said they can’t accept them if they felt it wasn’t right. Taking the belts but acting ungrateful and questioning my friend comes across to me as very rude behavior by them.

[teamvic]

You can't tell them what they should or shouldn't do when you just told me you have the right to do what you want with your stuff

[Staximus]

It's not a bad situation, just a weird one that could be interpreted in different ways. Maybe the belts weren't her size or style, maybe she took it the wrong way and thought you were making her out to be a charity case, or maybe she doesn't need belts and thought you should have donated them, or whatever. He already got them candy and stuff. Even though you're trying to do something nice, you put him in a awkward situation and should have just kept your belts.

[Staximus]

But none of it is a big deal

[Flower7]

It would have been better to just donate the belts to the charity along with the ones that your friend collected. I find it odd to say that certain items are “too good” for the less fortunate.

[Iquestioneverything]

I couldn’t edit my post, but the belts were given to me for Christmas as a gift after the donation was done already. My friend explained that to them. The belts are my property, so if I didn’t want to donate that is my choice. But to take them and then question my friend and act ungrateful, that to me comes off as very rude how they acted.

[Anonymous]

it is kind of counter intuitive. a sweet treat would have been better than giving her something she already donated

[PeterLegg91]

You thought you was doing a good deed so don't worry about it

[HoldingtheSword]

Oh you shouldn't have done that

[Anonymous]

Probably.