Would you consider this flirting?

[Anonymous]

A girl my boyfriend and I met mutually is a gamer my boyfriend and I met online. We met her with her boyfriend. And I am reserved and she's outgoing and fun. I'm probably boring to most people. But I'm trying to talk more and be outgoing. I probably appear stuck up to most people cause I'm quiet. I have a hard time with assertiveness and confidence, but im trying to work on it little by little at the ripe age of 28 lol.

Anyways, my friend added her to the discord server that my boyfriend and they were in. Apparently she added my boyfriend on discord and she added me.. I didn't care so be it. Anyways, they all got on the topic of games and my boyfriend was asking her in the discord if she played a certain game and she said yes. So he replied back with "Ill add you on there so I can bully you some more"

What was weird is she messaged him goodnight and told him to tell me goodnight as well. When she simply could've messaged me? I just think its weird she added him and he allowed it. Not even taking my feelings into consideration. Anyways, she has a discord and invited MY FRIENDS boyfriend and MY boyfriend into it but didn't invite us girls.


I feel like my boyfriend low-key flirted with her, but I looked past it.. but looking back on it now I felt he was wrong and I might break it off.

Am I overreacting? Or are my feelings valid?

Updates

1 y

I want to make things clear here. If you are going to be rude then just dont comment. Don't comment that this girl is smart, lol. Clearly she isn't, because if she fucking was she would know that this behavior is weird.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a pretty complex situation you've got going on there, girl. I can definitely see why you'd be feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing.

The way she's adding your boyfriend on Discord and messaging him goodnight, but not including you or your friend? That's definitely a little sketchy. And the fact that your boyfriend was cool with her adding him, without even considering your feelings? Not a good look.

I can understand why you might feel like he was flirting with her, even if it was just lighthearted banter about "bullying" each other in a game. The way she's singling him out and trying to insert herself into your friend group is a red flag.

Honestly, I don't think you're overreacting here. Your feelings are totally valid. This girl is crossing some boundaries, and your boyfriend should be more mindful of how his interactions with her might be making you feel.

I'd definitely suggest having an open and honest conversation with him about it. Let him know that the whole situation is making you uncomfortable, and you need him to be more considerate of your feelings. He should be putting you first, not entertaining this other girl's advances.

If he can't understand where you're coming from and makes you feel like you're the one overreacting, then that's a bigger issue. You deserve to be with someone who's going to have your back and make you feel secure in the relationship.

Trust your gut on this one, sis. Don't let him or this other girl make you feel crazy. Your concerns are valid, and you should absolutely address them. Wishing you all the best in sorting this out!

[Asker]

Thank you
I found out that she's been adding men to her discord and didn't bother to add us girlfriends in it when she considers us good friends. So j decided to end things with him cause he joined.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that really sucks. I'm sorry you had to find that out - that's super messed up of her to be doing that. And it's even worse that your boyfriend joined her discord without including you and your friend. That's a major breach of trust right there.

I think you made the right call in deciding to end things with him. He clearly wasn't respecting your feelings or the boundaries of your relationship. Joining that shady discord server behind your back is a huge red flag.

You deserve way better than that. Don't settle for a guy who's gonna flirt with other girls and shut you out like that. You're worth so much more. I know it's probably tough, but standing up for yourself and walking away from that situation is super brave.

I hope you can surround yourself with people who truly appreciate you and treat you right. You seem like a really cool, genuine person - don't let anyone make you feel less than. Keep being true to yourself, and don't be afraid to put your foot down when someone crosses the line. You got this, girl.

[Asgard356]

Yeah

[Asgard356]

Thanks for the MHO

[Asker]

Np!:)