Girls if a guy approaches you at a bar and politely asks to buy you a drink what would make you say yes?

[Anonymous]

I keep putting myself out there and I keep getting shot down over and over and over and it's been this way my whole life. I've never once been hit on in my life yet both family and strangers say they don't think I'm ugly. I know I'm not a 10 or anything but I think I might be a 5 when I'm at my best.

I feel like just statistically I should have had at least one girlfriend by now, but I've never really even had a real date. All I've had was a pity date I later found out meant nothing and a day that was supposed to be a date that ended up being a short shopping trip and then running errand's all day before disappearing until 3 in the morning. That's not a date that's me buying you things while you run errands. Worse that's how I lost my V card and it was an awful experience.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong? If I'm not ugly I can't figure out why nobody is willing to give me a chance? I mean when I go out and try to do that I'm well dressed, I have deodorant and cologne on. I'm shaved and groomed with well washed hair and skin I don't go out in public without a shower period. I take my hat off before speaking to them etc, etc. Why do they keep saying no?

I'm not even saying anything creepy, normally it's literally as simple as me saying. "Hey, can I maybe buy you a drink?" I fail to see how that sentence could be creepy or intimidating so I don't know what's up. Is being a 5 just too low now still? Like do you have to be a seven and up to date now or something? I mean FFS I've asked out girls that based on their body size were heavier than me and I'm in the best shape I've been in since I was a kid. I still have some extra weight but not enough to look ugly especially when I'm well dressed.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong so ladies if a guy walks up to you at a bar and offers to buy you a drink what about the guy will make you say yes and chat with him? I'm not trying to get laid I'm just trying to date but I can't get even one woman to give me a chance.

[Anonymous]

Go to your friends who are girls and say 'what do I need to do to get a girlfriend?' and they will tell you very honestly, and they will probably take you on as a project to help you get a date. If they say it's your look or your clothes or your smell or your hair or whatever, do what they say to fix it, they are not making it up. I tell guys all the time if you did this you would get a girl, and then they don't do that thing. Go to 2 or 3 girls together because you don't want one girl to feel uncomfortable, unless there's one girl you are close with already, and in that case she should probably be your girlfriend. If you don't have any friends who are girls, go to church for 6 months and join some groups there. If you can think of other groups to go to besides church that's fine, but church is easy and it's free and if something goes wrong you can just try a different church. After 6 months you will have 5 friends at least who are girls who you can now ask, and actually they'll probably end up asking you about it first.

[Asker]

I don't have any friends let alone ones that are girls. I tried going to church already as well but nobody would even talk to me and I was basically shunned and I don't even know why because I never did or said anything. I just started going to church but every time I tried to talk to someone, they basically had me kick rocks.

I even went to one of the after-church events, but nobody would even talk to me. Also, I've reached a point in my life where I'm pretty much done with god or really any gods. I'm tired of screaming into ears that don't listen so as far as I'm concerned when I die, they can judge me by my actions and if he doesn't like it he can suck my mortal cock. I have 0 interest in going back to church.

The closest thing I have to any friends are people I play games with online and the closest one of them to me is halfway across America and we've never met. FFS I broke down and asked my dad to ask his friends if they had anyone in the family that was single like a cousin or daughter my age but nothing. Everyone already has someone and now I'm almost 30 and I've never even dated.

As for girls I'm close with becoming my girlfriend I've tried that and it doesn't work. Woman seem to love a lot of things about me but they never love me. I've been friendzonned so, so many times. Woman tell me I'm nice, they tell me their personal baggage and they're perfectly happy to ask for my help which I always give but the moment I want to see if maybe this could go somewhere they go cold on me and leave. It's made me feel used over and over and I'm getting fucking sick of it.

[Asker]

I'm good enough to spend money on them, I'm good enough to help them, I'm good enough to listen to them cry, I'm good enough to be friends, I'm good enough to spend time with so what about me is so deficient that crossing the line further is so bad? Why are all these things woman say I am and compliment me on never enough? If I'm so great than why won't anyone give me a chance? It doesn't make any sense to me!

[DishLady]

His manners and personality. I just met a guy the other day who saw I looked a little lost at the beer garden (bc I don't consume beer) so he suggested a couple of things and then smoothly said that the least he could do was offer to treat me since it's his suggestion, this way if I didn't like it I wouldn't feel sad.

The way he went about it was a little funny and sweet, very easy going. He didn't seem like the sort of guy who looks like he plays games and he got on well with my friends. Nothing about him was forced or awkward.

[Chayce]

Yes, you do have to be at least a 7 these days. In the social media age, it forced everyone to level up. You can't go up to a woman asking to buy a drink if she's attractive while only being a 5 yourself. It's not going to work. They have access to better looking men. Why would they waste their time with an average man. Also if you're in a bar or such, focus on the woman that look like they are giving you attention back. It might not be the bombshell you wanted, but it's good practice in the meantime. Still, ultimate goal should be to level yourself up. No compromises.

[Anonymous]

Most girls would decide based on who the guy is.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for MHO

[jennifer_bloom]

I would not accept a drink from anybody outside family unless it’s a female friend I have known at least ten years. Men do not buy you drinks out of compassion, if they were motivated by compassion, they would buy you groceries or Walmart clothes, they do it to buy your friendship or your time.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

I think your problem is that your approach is just... blah. There's no creativity to it to make you stand out from all the other guys who approach. For me, I respond well to humor so if someone can make me laugh, that's their opening to getting me to talk to them more than just a forced few lines. For others, flattery might work and yet others prefer not to be approached unless they find the guy attractive.

Thing is, we aren't a monolith with only one way to unlock a conversation with us. Find something within your comfort zone that will help you stand out and try that first.

[Abbycado]

I can’t go to bars yet, but I’d appreciate the gesture but probably say no.

Now, if you chat me up and are interesting, I’ll get my own drink and have a convo.