I’m 15 and he’s going to college, and we made a deal to wait 3 years for each other. Am I making a mistake?

[iluvunme]

Hi, I really need honest advice. No sugarcoating—just tell me the truth. I’m a 15-year-old girl going into my sophomore year of high school. I’ve been talking to a guy who just graduated and is about to start college in the Virgin Islands. We’ve been talking for about 6 months, but over the last 2 months, we got really close. He was my first for a lot of things—including my first time sleeping with someone—and I’m completely in love with him. Now that he’s leaving for college, we made a deal. We agreed that for the next 3 years (until I graduate), we won’t date other people and that we’ll reunite when I turn 18 and graduate high school. But here’s the complicated part: • I proposed the deal. He was hesitant and said he didn’t want to hold me back. I convinced him. • We’re only allowed to talk once a week (Saturday mornings), just to give each other life updates. • He said he won’t date while at college, but he will still hook up with other people. • I’m not allowed to date, flirt, or hook up at all during the 3 years. • We added a “motivation clause” to help me stay focused in school: if I maintain a 4.0 GPA, he’ll consider taking me back when I graduate. • I accepted all this because I love him deeply and I don’t focus well on school when I’m talking to other guys anyway. But now I’m wondering if I’m being blinded by love. Is it healthy for me to wait 3 years while he’s off living his life? Is it fair that he gets hookups and freedom, while I have to stay loyal and quiet? Is it smart to tie my GPA and goals to the hope that he’ll still want me years from now? This isn’t just a summer fling. I gave him my heart. But I don’t know if I’m setting myself up for heartbreak or doing something romantic and loyal. Please be real with me—should I stick to this, or protect myself now?

[DishLady]

"He's going to college" = you're making a mistake.

What makes you think that a 15 yo will hold the attention of a guy who is about to walk into a co-ed tits-and-ass fest where you'll fall right out of his head till you call/text him?

He's keeping you on the hook rn bc he feels insecure and inadequate as a kid going off to college.

The idea that there's some sweet innocent little thing back home pining for him will help him get over the hurdles of Freshman Year Semester 1... or at least through September.

You'll soon become the one he tells gals he's not interested in about "because I'm taken"... meanwhile he'll shag some hottie then tell her he feels guilty bc he's taken... either to shake off more than a one night stand or to get this next girl on the hook as a "side piece" while he continues to sow his wild oats.

I say tell him you've thought about it and don't think this is healthy.

YOU ARE 15!!! THE NEXT THREE YEARS ARE YOUR GOLDEN TIME TO SHINE AS A YOUNG WOMAN! Don't waste it on this guy.

[ohsheeT]

Well who came up with the idea. You stand still. While he gets to do everything and gets to. eat his cake to.

If love someone you don't go out with other people. Or flirt. Or anything.

3 years is a very long time. Ur just starting to live life. Guys are going to come and go

You said he was the first of many things with.

I guess being honest with you was not one of them.

So let me be that person
When making love with some for the first second third time he doesn't even have to know what he's doing.

Your going to feel something so beautiful so unreal. Because you have never experienced it before your going to think its love. Even if the guy is bad at. It. I would have to say he was really bad at it. Just because of the deal you made with him to wait.. that feeling you felt was not love

Im sorry. I hate telling you that. He should have but he was to busy trying to manipulate you getting what he wants.

And he did it because of the deal you made

Let me tell you something that feeling you got when having. Sex is nothing. He should have made love to you. . You can tell the difference.

Having sex he would last 2 to 10 min

Making love he would have lasted all day
That feeling you would have gotten would just about make you cry because us so beautiful. .
It will take your breath away. And when you finish you role off of each other a you have the most out of body experience each and everytime.

I can't tell you what to do only you can do it... so if you do follow through. It's goingbto teach you a couple things it will teach you you arecstrong independent your loyal, you have a beautiful heart. You're kind. You're a very good person because you have the strength to do it

But it will also teach you that he's not a good person because he couldn't do it

And both of those will teach you about real love is all about in many different ways

[HawkPerception]

Wait so let me get this right. You guys are committed to each other, but he's allowed to hook up and you aren't within those 3 years? Already the fact that he's allowed to hook up is ridiculous and shows you aren't serious in the relationship.

Look, this type of relationship is hit or miss in general, but it tends not to work out in the long run. It CAN work, but with the terms you agreed on (him being allowed to hook up with others), I'm going to say it's not likely at all.

If I had a daughter and she presented this idea to me, I'd be like "Are you fucking stupid?" I'd want the best for my daughter and wouldn't want to know that she's waiting for a guy for 3 years while he's allowed to have fun with whoever. I would genuinely hate the guy, for the fact that he even allowed those terms. Waiting is one thing, but it has to be full commitment by both sides.

[Anonymous]

What I saw was, all girls who come into college with a boyfriend bring a new boyfriend home at Thanksgiving. All guys who come into college with a girlfriend are sleeping with a new girl by the first weekend.

[RHK36]

He clearly thinks you are beneath him or it would be equal for each person in that deal. Don't be desperate for someone's love like that it'll never end well. Appreciate the relationship you had and move on. You'll only punish yourself with this temporary time out while he's living his best life.

[slatyb]

You both are. Neither of you has dated anyone else. Don't settle down until you've sampled the market.

[DryGermanGuy]

Never ever is he going to keep up his part of the deal.

[slatyb]

@DryGermanGuy Nor should he. Instead he shouldn't promise.

[Anonymous]

Don't expect him to actually wait you are so young and he's going to be around girls his own age and tbh it's kind of weird a 18 year old with a 15 year old

[itsannalee]

Don’t waste your time.
Just focus on your education.

[virgo2267]

Of all the females who replied… the one who didn’t reply Anonymous is definitely right.
Go figure

[dudeinohio]

You are at different points in your lives. Not a good place to be. You should be with someone your own age.

[Vegasrunner]

Not going to work women try this all the time.

[Anonymous]

Predator and child. Your parents should have them arrested.

[Flower7]

Yes because why wait?

[Anonymous]

That deal is too one sided

[Anonymous]

Run from him cuz he’s a hypocrite

[iluvunme]

Hypocrite? Why do you say that? And thank you for replying 🫶

[Opinion Owner]

Cuz he made rules for you that he’s not following

[zombiewoof]

Why, you both may find others

[wkhan_87]

No ,, you made a great deal
Best of luck

[In_Trance]

yes, big mistake

[Titlover01]

Dm me