Can I ask you a deep question?

Question

If you had a chance, would you hurt them (people who hurts you) the same way they hurt you? It’s not only in dating world, but in anything.

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

No , categorically not , this is NOT healthy emotionally.

Emotionally - It’s important to take time to process why your hurt , what exactly is it that the person did or said that hurt you and why you think you responded the way you did.

Hypothetically , sometimes we are hurt by what people say but it’s because we have not processed the trauma from the last time it occurred. Aka it’s not their fault.

It’s additionally important to also put yourself in the shoes of the person whom you feel hurt you , what led up to them saying what they did or doing what they did … what would you have done instead in their shoes and WHY ! and BE HONEST with yourself , lying and exaggeration will NOT help you

Remember that people are human and can say stupid , flippant and insensitive things not just because they want to hurt you but because just don’t know any better and that’s not always their fault.

Holding on to the hurt and pushing it down deep inside you often leads to depression and low mood so sit with the hurt and try to understand it.

Should it make sense to you or the situation talk over with the person how they made you feel , saying your piece after fully processing what’s happened and what went wrong and if it feels appropriate forgive them so that you can move past it … forgiveness is about YOU.. not them.

Never retaliate or hold grudges , they can affect you more than you realise , even physically , by way of sleep deprivation through anxiety or PTsd , high blood pressure leading to many associated medical issues etc etc

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No I wouldn’t. Now if you were to ask me this 20 years ago I might say something else. But as of today, no. Getting revenge on someone can only satisfy you for so long. The hardest part is letting that go, forgiving them. That’s how you grow, how you progress as a person. Now I’m not saying you completely forget about what they did, you learn from it so that it never happens again. For me forgiving a few people meant not talking to them. That sound s weird I know cause people would say well if you forgave them you’d talk to them. But for me it isn’t. If I see them I’ll have a cordial conversation, say hi but that relationship will never been the way it used to be. At the same time I don’t hold no animosity toward them. Part of me forgiving them, most importantly allowing myself to forgive them was to not devote energy to that situation anymore. I can still have respect for them, but I won’t tolerate being disrespected ever again by that person.

DeeDeeDeVour · Accepted Answer

I used to be that way.

I fought fire with fire.

T'was a tooth for a tooth.

A nail for a nail.

I got rid of a lot of my mafiosa mentality but I'm not totally giving all that up.

No, I didn't grow a conscience nor is my existing conscience bothering me.

I simply drop (ghost) people that aren't worth my time & effort anymore.

Vevv123 · Accepted Answer

No not at all. I’m too empathetic for that, I forgive, usually forget, and there is nothing in me that wishes anyone any kind of bad. I also know there’s people that have been in far worser situations and I’m grateful because mines could’ve been worser and thankfully I’m in a better place now.

ohsheeT · Answer

No its not worth my time. Weather they pre meditated the hurt. Weather it was an accident
It dies not matter any more. Because with pain becomes learning with learning become growth.. with growth. Becomes finding yourself and happiness

If I was to hurt them back. I would be no better than them

OlderAndWiser · Answer

No one knows how they will react in that situation until they actually encounter it: pre-conceived notions are created with the intellect but, in the moment, we react on the basis of emotions. And, sometimes, we experience emotions that we did not know were within us.

I can only say that I would hope to resist the urge to "get even." If you get down to wrestle with pigs, you get up covered in mud.

AviatorTom · Answer

No. That's called revenge, which only makes you feel good, if at all, for a short while. Afterwards, you almost always feel guilty, and stupid, for doing it.

Best is to put the past in the past and just move on.

Summeroflove · Answer

Don’t become the monster that has hurt you…..

SotiCoto · Answer

I wouldn't stop there. Simply hurting someone back will see them looking for revenge in turn. If I had a chance I would kill those who have hindered me. All of them. Completely terminate all of them so they can never do anything against me again.
That includes anyone who negatively impacts my life indirectly too. Police, politicians, celebrities, everyone religious... If I could I'd kill most of the global human population.

Levin · Answer

Nah, I've had people do pretty bad things to me.

I could have retaliated in pretty bad ways.

But ultimately, it's not worth it. Because it involves me dwelling on nastiness and thus becoming no better than them. Karma is righteous. I don't need to worry about such things.

Tarifa · Answer

I wouldn't consciously go down that route, it's not worth spending my time and effort.

But in all honesty, I would like to know how life has treated them afterwards. Like the saying goes, what goes around comes around. Time puts everyone in his or her place.

OneViewpoint · Answer

That's not a deep question at all. It's actually sort of juvenile. How would hurting them benefit you or change what they did to you? Chances are you end up wasting a chunk of your life on revenge and maybe get yourself in trouble. At any rate you allow them to keep living rent free in your head. Just move on. If they are not an imminent threat at this moment it makes no sense to pursue vengeance.

MemeSupreme · Answer

no but i won't stand for disrespect  way more likely to if they hurt someone i care about and went too far

Malemajor · Answer

No ! Tried it and it makes you feel even more shitty. Do pranayama and focus on better things for you mind and body, you will age better. Negativity will make you grow old faster. Trust me.

Wise4myage · Answer

I think it depends on how bad a friend hurt me, and how much of a friend they were in the first place.

TrimmedTip · Answer

Revenge is a boomerang. The energy you spend hurting them could build a life they’ll never get to be part of.

Drooogie4 · Answer

No.  Anytime I end up retaliating (beyond just standing up for myself) I end up feeling icky about it.

JohnnyB123321 · Answer

No. I can take hurt. It’s worse to hurt someone especially when you don’t know how they take being hurt. Not much is going to hurt me very much. I’ve very independent and content where I’m at.

Screenwriter · Answer

So I would drop to the same slimy level they did? No. Just leave them in their slime and get away!

dustybiker2 · Answer

I prefer legal justice if you can afford up front costs.

Pearl222 · Answer

Never… I don’t believe in tit for tat. Karma usually sorts it out on it’s own

Sun_Kim-Ai · Answer

Don't make me admit things that could be used as proof in a courtroom.

KateCrombie · Answer

I leave it on Karma… i don’t have much time to waste on such people

Ironco · Answer

No, I just let them and things go. It's not worth the drama.

jazzy34 · Answer

Nah. I'm not a revenge seeker. I wish them well and move on.

Yellovv · Answer

I can able get nasty how much they can get to me, if they don't like what they hear they can't talk to me like that..

Dnice1 · Answer

No I've learned to let go in life because it's in the past and it's better to not hold a grudge in my opinion.

Merpop · Answer

I’ve thought about this, probably not. I don’t know how it would affect that person but all the awful things I had done only made me a stronger and kinder person. I don’t want anyone to go through what I had to go through.

hemo821 · Answer

Not really but i guess it depends on how i feel about them but generally i think that who ever hurt you is out of your life

Twalli · Answer

Not the same way. If someone hurts me enough, I will go nuclear on them.

Panthero80 · Answer

No, that is not ethical as a Christian (or for a lot of others).

katiesmuff · Answer

I tend to have a revenge mentality!

Ermmhey · Answer

Nope, but I hope life teaches them a really good lesson when I'm no longer in their life

Unycorn · Answer

No. I will not stoop to that level.

queenofcardio · Answer

Honestly yeah

avery58 · Answer

Depends on the situation

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

That would put me on their level.

nawtee_me · Answer

Nope, that is not who I am

slatyb · Answer

Why would I waste my time?

exitseven · Answer

Yes , revenge is sweet

Paige90 · Answer

Maybe

eagle1951 · Answer

no because i'm better then that

clampfan101 · Answer

I don’t want to stoop to their level.

SamWinchester058 · Answer

Depends on the situation.

Anonymous · Answer

Karma always takes care of such issues.

cavedweller1973 · Answer

Depends on if they did it maliciously

whereismyjohnny · Answer

Nope.

Pterodon · Answer

Definitely.

Asgard356 · Answer

An eye for an eye?

Sultanaa · Answer

yes, you can.

dudeinohio · Answer

Nope

wkhan_87 · Answer

Okay if you want

qwerty2469 · Answer

Nope.

Sandrabruch1 · Answer

Okay

nojdug76 · Answer

Yes of course I

Anonymous · Answer

Yes.

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