Is being too deep a problem?

[Pupweb]

For example, I’m a very deep person in general, so I don’t see the point in talking to people just to talk about meaningless things for hours. However, my younger sister was telling me that sometimes it’s not always that serious or deep, and it can actually be good to have conversations like that with people. What do you think?

Updates

1 y

Thank you, everyone, for your comments. They definitely gave me many perspectives, I’ll keep them in mind. I’m also starting to think I might be slightly autistic… But that something for me to think about later, bye :)

[Keyboardkat]

There are limits. I remember in graduate school a group of us went to a movie. I don't remember what the movie was, because we're talking like 1968 or 1969. But there was one girl there who was really "deep." I asked her, "Did you like the movie?" She answered, "Compared to what?" I felt I had asked her a simple yes or no question. I tried to explain that to her, and she said, "I can't answer the question that way." For her, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in life could be simple! Another time I thought for about five minutes that I might want to ask her out. So I did. She had to REALLY THINK about this, since we weren't in a relationship and neither of us was THAT interested in the other, and then she kept asking, "So you REALLY want to take me out." I'm not certain whether that was a statement from her or a question. But I said, "Never mind, if every thing is going to be such a problem." She just could NOT jump into the pool of life. She always had to gingerly stick her toe in the "water" first, accompanied by huge, mighty deliberations! I don't really understand what was the matter with her. Maybe she didn't like me that much, and that's okay. But she was like this ALL THE TIME, with EVERYBODY!

[Still-alive]

Not at all, but i would still at least encourage practicing a little small talk. sometimes you gotta warm people up first before going in for the deeper conversations.

[Pupweb]

Yea, probably the way to go, so I don’t end up scaring people away.

[DishLady]

It can be.


You don’t have to share or explain EVERY DETAIL with EVERY PERSON. Some folks just don’t care.


And not that many people are “deep” either, by the way. Real depth comes with the intuition to know when to stop sharing, shift gears, adjust the topic, etc.


(Like now 😉)

[throwmeaway1111]

Its fine when appropriate but not everything has a deep meaning and its nice to converse with people without having to be serious. "Meaningless" conversations are light hearted and are a great way to start to get to know someone and for them to feel comfortable enough to open up later down the line.

[AI Opinion]

As your go-to flirtatious relationship advisor on GAG, let’s dive into this, shall we? 😉 While deep and meaningful conversations can be the elixir for connection, sometimes a dash of lighthearted banter keeps relationships buoyant and vibrant. Think of it as the seasoning that makes “the main course” all the more savory. Not every chat needs to be soul-stirring. Stay open, and you might enjoy the joyful simplicity in those lighter exchanges! 📚✨

[AviatorTom]

You'll miss out on some interesting things, and people, if you only are "too deep" all the time.

[Summeroflove]

You just have to find the right people to talk to really.

[mstbooblover]

According my own experience, being all the time deep gets indeed boring. That's why I love to have a balance between seriousness and naughty things. A good joke for instance, can reveal to be a step in paradise.

A friend once told me that just talking about the weather and other plain common things may help getting some peace in the mind, because deep conversations should not last too long lest the attention gets lost.

Anyway, when you're accustomed to meditate, there's no point trying other people to understand everything you discover that way. Nevertheless, a hint may help, a bit like planting a seed.

[drummerdude25]

I wish people gave things more thought, tbh… because if you’re just reacting to everything in life, because it makes you feel one way or the other, and aren’t thinking about WHY something is happening, or HOW you will impact others as a result… yeah… that can really be a problem.

[Pupweb]

Exactly!

[drummerdude25]

I’ve had to deal with this before… people trying to “protect your feelings” by lying, and it’s like “no… really, YOU’RE protecting YOUR feelings, so you don’t have to feel bad about turning someone down” — because lying to someone isn’t doing them ANY favors. Just makes things worse.

They avoided the confrontational interaction that needed to happen because it made THEM feel uncomfortable. It’s selfish.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. I personally detest small talk as well. On a few occasions, I've noticed that individuals appear bored when I go in depth. I used to make me sad, but I've come to know that not everyone is open to going deeper; they really prefer to keep it superficial. They just don't feel comfortable, and I have learnt to not take it personally, just like I hope they don't take me being terrible at small talk personally. I'm really awkward at it. You need to do is find "your people." They are around, and they will engage with your in-depth discussions.

[Staximus]

Continue to be yourself and the hell with people think, unless it's creating problems for you. I will go off on a tangent and ramble on about something until I notice people are losing interest in the conversation quite often, but I don't give a shit.

[Pupweb]

That some solid advice, thanks!

[Staximus]

There's nothing wrong with being yourself. Everybody doesn't think or see the world the same, that's what makes you unique

[Spencer10]

I think anything taken to extremes may be unhealthy. So if you can never just kind of let go and just be frivolous every once in a while you may need to work on that side of you. Of course the same goes for a person who is not serious or thoughtful about anything. Balance in all things.

[Justneedtokno]

Yes, sometimes over sharing and thinking too much. Overthinking can be difficult for others and yourself when you’re not living in the moment of a situation you don’t necessarily have to go with the flow, but you don’t have to think far into the future and in crazy stuff. lol time

[RavVid]

I think your sister is right. I keep deep conversations to people who like to have them in particular areas.

I get a bit annoyed by those who interrupt those conversations I have with a friend weekly with trivialities.

But social conversations are ok if that is the purpose.

[Nikki1989]

Deep thinkers often delve into complex topics or emotions, which might make some people feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed. I have seen that happen on here many times.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You might just be autistic and don’t understand the importance of smalltalk in relationships. Which is fair, I was the same way as a teen

[CallmeTheKnight]

It’s only a problem if you need for other people to dive deep into any conversation or you read too deep into small conversations or statements. Sometimes it helps to just keep things simple

[JustBeingReal727]

Depends on the person I say for most people it can be, since media has a way of feeding people meaningless things and or goes over the top of people's heads to the point where people will mispercieve you as being arrogant.

[Fireguy17]

it gets old quickly, so does that make it a problem or not?
So now you have to think about that one.

[DryGermanGuy]

I know what you mean, I am not a fan of small-talk either.

[NathanDavis]

being one time all the time... is usually not fun, at all

[LiamS95]

Sometimes a lighthearted conversation can be very enjoyable and just as real as a deeper conversation but without the stress or questions that being too deep can sometimes cause.

[Pete671]

I can't stand just chatting, there needs to be a point in verbal attraction imho,,,

The amount of garbage most people spew out really annoys me,,,

[WhitneySnow]

Deep is great, but sometimes meaningless stuff can be fun too

[ChicoFromThe305]

It can complicate things but deep is always a type of complication from it's original efforts, if that makes sense, it's always more than the surface, so if it's a problem is subjective as some like depth or challenging.

[jahaims]

You don't understand the nuances of communication enough to appreciate the other aspects of it. It's common with autism

[Anonymous]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[linka_pat307]

It's a problem sometimes.. it's just knowing when to be

[es20490446e]

People usually convey deep stuff through a casual facade.

[Flower7]

Small talk is boring.

[Pupweb]

I agree

[sawno]

So much so that if I am talking to a girl I never talked to before and we fail to get past small talk ill probably never reach out again. Failing to dive deep in a deep conversation with someone like me I consider completely incompatible since I jump at every opportunity to go deeper. If she presented no such opportunity she's not interesting to talk to.

[Pupweb]

Exactly the same here, but I’ll admit it’s not always realistic. That’s the hard part because some people get uncomfortable.

[MikeRJ]

Being "deep" to me means being interesting.

[princeofromance]

No, it is healthy and good for both parties involved.

[glennos89]

No I like deep conversations and I like going deep in another way aswell 🤭

[em_5304]

No but you should share with people who know you the best.

[sawno]

Not for me, the deeper the better.

[serious]

No, it is not at all a problem

[lightbulb27]

I'd rather be deep unless don't trust.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Deep is good but I don't want to be super serious all of the time

[MoonFace2]

Only for the world’s idiots.

[Agape93]

Not in my opinion.

[KittygosMeoWW]

No, unless it’s an always situation

[Jennz6]

The same

[Maria0002]

depends when you go deep.

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

Perhaps.