Would you go out with someone again who flakes on you?

[Summeroflove]

Let’s say you plan a date with someone. But she/he never shows up. Maybe they call last minute while you’re already there or on the way to sah they aren’t making it but don’t have a good reason other then they don’t really feel like it.

If they got into a bad crash, if they all the sudden get really sick, if a close family member dies, or something like that. I understand…. but it’s extremely selfish and disrespectful to stand someone up as well as cowardly. I understand if someone makes other plans but informed you before it’s time to meet up but makes a effort to make plans another time.

But. Then why would they act offended when you just no longer make a effort to see them anymore? Someone stands you up…. Just to call them and they aren’t coming. Then they never apologize for it and never make a effort to make plans again. So you move on and they act upset.

Like. I’m not giving someone like that a chance again.

[DishLady]

Ok… so normally no. If the person is an acquaintance and you’re just starting out and they’re flaking cut them of bc it’ll just get worse.


If it’s someone you care about it’s slightly different and you should have a convo about rude vs respectful behavior. You might need to have the convo more than once. Ultimately if they also care about you parts of it sink in and they will make an effort not to be late or flake (as much).


Don’t expect perfection. If that’s how they are that’s how they are, but don’t go out of your way to make plans with them (esp involving other people) bc they’re too flakey to be reliable (and are showing you that while they like you they’re not relationship material).

[Summeroflove]

Yep…

[cora1]

They never apologizing just shows they think that’s normal. Which means this is probably a common habit for them. You have to think of the future, when you have to attend things, are you going to have to rush them or will they just not care about being on time. I’ve seen many people make it a part of their personality thinking it’s cute, but it isn’t. Something that can get them trouble in jobs too.

[Summeroflove]

That’s my thing honestly. Not just romantic relationships but friendships too. There is that other extreme where someone feels entitled to someone’s time and they can’t have a life outside of them.

But at the same time. If I genuinely like someone I will show effort.

[cora1]

Absolutely, friendships too! Shows a lot about a person.

[HawkPerception]

No. But if they communicate all the while as to why they're coming late or why they're unable to make it, then I'd make an exception. But if they just ghosted me and didn't communicate or mention anything at all, then I'm not dealing with that

[Ask105]

They have send videos now a days from stuff happening months ago to like different guys as if it happened in the week and try to create a fake relationship I've heard it and seen it then they’re Gone don’t expect anything from them it takes two i always just say hey if you’re not going show up let me no before hand the last two gave me a heads up the day before and one i have a date scheduled I'm expecting her to just bounce anyways its their loss and i have my life together and i don't play games women do now a days

[thegreenyogi]

It depends on the situation. What is for certain is that I always give people the chance to explain themselves because I know that there are many reasons why a person might not be able to show up to a date like a bad car accident. Dialogue is important so if that person chooses to simply disappear without explanation I would see it as a bit of a red flag but regardless of whether the explanation comes as soon as it happens or months/years later I will always give that person the benefit of the doubt because that's the kind of person I am.

[ChooChooHaha]

I don't at all.

If you pull some bullshit like that, then fuck you, this road is closed. I've stopped talking to "friends," over that. Respect someone's time. I make EVERY effort to do so, and I do it.

If something happens, you have serious work (you're an honest fed, cop, therapist, etc.), and then you call the day after/ come over as a surprise, then ok, fine. I have very little issue.

[Summeroflove]

I don’t either. If I loose interest and don’t want to see someone anymore. I will tell you… Even if it hurts it’s better then stringing you along or wasting your time so you can find someone else.

If You’re in a car crash, a family member just died, or something came up out of your control. Shit happens…. Career too if you can’t help it you can’t help it.

But without a good cause. Don’t waste my time

[Piapplez]

Yes, I would give them another chance if it were a legit reason and they contacted me timely.

This is judgment call that you must make. Now, if it happened again or they seemed to display a pattern of inconsistency, cut them off.

For example, if I were at the restaurant waiting and they called to say they had car trouble. I would ask what type of trouble and let's say they had a flat. I don't believe that's a valid reason because you can fix a flat, you can call roadside assistance, and depending on location, you could Uber to the date or vice versa. I think there are a lot of scenarios avoid canceling a date when it's a small issue like a flat.

Let's say the car had to be towed due to engine failure. Well I know towing is costly, so maybe now they can't afford the date because money is needed for the car.

The person who wants to see you will and be respectful of your time.

[Summeroflove]

Legit reason is different

[Anonymous]

listen man, if you're going out on a blind date. You're just gonna have to accept this as a part of life. Expect to be ghosted or stood up at some point in life. This is just the way some people are. If you walk around thinking that everyone is great, amazing, courteous, kind. You're gonna be majorly disappointed

[Summeroflove]

A LOT of people think that way. They in their heads make excuses for people projecting their goodness onto others… Until they get played and used so many times that they become the opposite. Cold…. Indifferent. Hates everyone.

You have to realize some
People aren’t good and to leave them behind.

[Summeroflove]

People who put up with bad peoples shit. End up in situations where you can never win. That’s a way narcissists will test you. Is just seeing it may start small.

It may be 15 minutes late consistently without a reason. Then flaking. Ghosting you…. And then love bombing you again.

[Opinion Owner]

@summeroflove

Love is blind. Remember that.

[Summeroflove]

For a lot of people it is. Until they become miserable a decade or more later realizing they wasted years of their lives with someone who treats them like shit.

At some point…. Even when people realize they just put so much work and effort into a relationship they don’t want to let it go. Even if it’s killing them

[Opinion Owner]

@summeroflove

The problem is... people base who they decide to marry ultimately on chemistry and physical attraction.

Then you realize you married a very selfish lazy person who does nothing and makes you pay all the bills, do all the housework and childcare while all he does is go to work, demand sex, sit back and be your 3rd child.

Way too many women tolerate this type of stuff. Women usually are better at tolerating bs than men

[Summeroflove]

Ugh…. Yes. Sometimes people can also play themselves off so well as someone they’re not as well as look good.

Honestly I see both sexes tolerating this. I’ve seen as many men marry useless women as I’ve seen women marry unless men. The issue is as well empathetic people want to help someone and make excuses for someone. As where the narcissists play off that.

[Summeroflove]

But there comes a point where someone’s so miserable that they cannot take anymore. Ends in divorce and resentment

[Opinion Owner]

@summeroflove

women initiate 70% of divorces because they simply aren't happy being married.

back in the 1950s, women could stay home and just do housework, child care

Nowadays in 2025, women need to do childcare, do housework and work a full time job.

this is also the reason why the birth rates are so low.

[Summeroflove]

Opinion Owner, again depends on the relationship. Yes, there is men that expect a woman to do everything. That’s not all or the majority of men

There are women that stay home…. And make their husband come home from work after working 70 hour plus weeks to do housework. Mow the lawn. Cook dinner….. etc.

[Summeroflove]

A lot of divorced come from happy relationships. Narcissists are simply never happy no matter what you do for them. Men or woman narcissists…. You cannot win except by cutting them off entirely.

There are a lot of feminists who wanted to join the workforce but also want the benefits of traditionalism. Which is again…. One sided. But not all women act like that.

It matters finding a good husband and a good wife. Not being blinded bt a facade someone puts on and forever putting up with their shit until you cannot take anymore.

[Summeroflove]

A lot of cases. Men have been cheated on. Used. Putting all the effort into a relationship… and are doing the best to make it work whike the woman…. She’s not doing much of anything.

Until she finally plays the victim. Smears her husband and finds someone new to jump to. That’s female narcissists.

[Opinion Owner]

@summeroflove

No, most women do not stay at home anymore. Reality is... men aren't adequate providers and women dont receive enough support in raising children

Studies have proven that single women without children tend to be healthier and live lomger lives than married women.

On the other hand, studies show that married men tend to live longer lives than single men

Marriage tend to benefit men way more than women

[Summeroflove]

So men are bad. I get it…. Stop taking your frustrations out on all men there are a lot of women who don’t make good mothers or wives as well.

[Summeroflove]

Also women worked equally as hard in a different role… The husband came home and basically did nothing the wife took care of it all.

And being a stay at home mother has always been for middle class and higher class families. Women have worked for centuries….

[Summeroflove]

A marriage is supposed to benefit BOTH partners. However, narcissists only want the take but none of the tube

[Summeroflove]

*give

[Summeroflove]

But let’s also consider. Most men DIE before their wives…. Not always. But statistically.

[Summeroflove]

Wives can outlive their husbands 10 plus years sometimes.

[Screenwriter]

You are a reasonable person with manners. There are some who are clueless about wasting other people's time, and are careless about feelings. Ugh.

[Summeroflove]

Narcissists…..

[Summeroflove]

But I agree. The fact of the matter is just because I’m not really interested in someone romantically doesn’t make them a bad person or devalue them as a human being.

Doesn’t mean I should waste their time

[Nikki1989]

Well, when that happens, you just go out with someone else OR simply do something else. It is not the end of the world. Life goes on.

[Summeroflove]

True. Better to just let them be if they wanna be mad. That’s their issue

[Greek_goddess_Iris]

If something came up the I'll give another chance. If it's just bc they didn't feel like it... Well in that case, bye bye

[slatyb]

That would be a deal-breaker if they just flaked with no contact. Who does this? I've never done this, and no one has ever done it to me.

[queenofcardio]

Only if the excuse was reasonable. Otherwise no

[exitseven]

If somebody had a good reason it would be okay but if she just blew me off she would never see me again

[glennos89]

No I wouldn't go out again when someone leaves me hanging like that

[Phoenix98]

Not unless they had a really good reason for it.

[blackeagle007]

No. Can’t stand flakes, all they do is play games, no empathy. I feel someone should flake on them, taste of their own meds.

[TwoToTooTutu2]

With enough justification, sure I can be understanding.

[Drumlin2001]

Depends on why they flaked, and what I saw getting out of it. If I thought they could be worth it then I'd give them some latittude

[Anonymous]

I don't know, I never had a date, so I can't be completely sure.

[Ariesman81]

You wait for her to reach out and apologize. And then you make her PAY!!!

[foxsquirrell]

I most likely would not. I hate those stupid games.

[WhitneySnow]

I agree with you

[tzdc21]

Nope. Not doing it

[cavedweller1973]

Depends on the reason or excuse they had

[Rides_Big_Guys]

Nope

[Dongie]

Not bloody likely!

[shortster]

Once, yes; twice, no.

[Abdulw]

Depends on reason

[qwerty2469]

Nope

[robocop666]

nope fuck off