Why is it hard as a 23 yo woman to find a guy who actually wants a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I took a break from dating after my ex and 2 years later I decided I was ready to go on dates again. But now guys no longer approach or ask on dates.
I looked on Reddit and TikTok to see if anyone had any idea why and majority of the Reddit page that I checked out it was just guys my age talking about these hub and how they don’t want to date anyone unless there built like the girls on the hub or if they don’t have intercourse like this other girl on the hub.

obviously I’m not a girl from only fans , and I don’t have implant in my breast or a bbl like they do, neither am I having intercourse like they do.
The last time I did go out in a date and the guy asked me what I expect from a guy I told him Kindness, loyalty, and respect. Which I told me that that’s too much to ask from him, I’m not sure why that would be too much to ask because that’s the absolute bare minimum if you are in a relationship. But it seems like they don’t want to only be with one person, and I don’t want to be with someone who is with multiple people.

[HighValue]

The majority of men now know how terrible most women have been so now many men don't value women anymore. They know their life would only get worse being with one so they just use them for sex and move on.

If you are actually a good quality person with good morals and a good past, you should be able to get a good partner unless you expect them to bring much more quality to a relationship than you do.

Can you give examples of what you actually look for in a potential partner?

Height, build, financial status, morals, interests, what do you expect each person to contribute, etc?

[Asker]

I think that’s definitely what has steered me away from dating “so they just use them for sex and move on.” myself as someone who has no sexual experience, I’m not trying to be used and thrown away when I’m worth much more than that. But I do understand where you’re coming from, that’s sad that that’s what it’s come to.

Height wise they can be an inch or two shorter than me and I’m okay with that, build wise I’d say average? I’m fine without a guy who has big arms and abs but if I was interested in him because of his personality? Still wouldn’t matter because I’m with them because there personality drew me in. Money wise I don’t really care as long as when we decide to buy a house we both can pay the bills and everything else included together. As for morals Honesty, kindness, respect, and justice. Interest wise? Anything, I like to do new things and someone that has different interests than me, makes it more excited because then I can potentially get interested in what he’s interested in and it’s something we can do together. As for contributing affection/love, trust, effort, communication, support and compromise.

[Stevepro68]

Well that guy was just being nice and backing out sometimes people say things to let people down without explaining the hard parts. Also not this situation but, if you frame a relationship by what you want what you expect. What young guys hear is me me me. Young men look at relationships as someone controlling them. Try to understand they lack the tools that someone more mature would use to say sorry that's not for me.

[Asker]

Now this makes a lot of sense, it's sad that they talk about wanting to be in a relationship yet when someone actually wants that with them they aren't mature enough to go through with it. So if by the time I'm 27 if I am not in a relationship by then I'm going to go ahead a call it quits on attempting one

[Anonymous]

Honestly? Because most women do not seek out/ are not attracted men who want relationships.😆

Sorry, but it really is that simple.

It's like as if I was to ask why Scarlett Johansson doesn't take me serious when I profess my love to her.🤔 I can't fathom why.🙃😆

[Asker]

That's nota good example, lol. She's a celebrity who is more than likely in a relationship. As someone who is trying to seek out men who want to be in a relationship, it isn't that simple. Even my mother has said that the dating scene now compared to when she was my age has changed heavily. Guys my age that live in my area are all just looking for sex, which if that's what they want i can't stop them. But it's kinda sad that it's probably going to take me years to find a relationship with someone who actually wants it, and that's leaves me feeling disheartened and makes me think that maybe i just don't need to believe that a man will ever love me or want to be with me

[Opinion Owner]

Actually it's quite apropos. Most women try to date way above thier level. Which is why guys don't want a relationship with her. Why would he? He can get it on with 50 other splitails just like her.
So my example was spot on.

[Asker]

Usually the women that try and date above their level are the ones who are money hungry.
But also i was looking for an answer to my question, not an answer about what women do?
i'm asking why guy's who are also my age that want relationship are hard to find

[Opinion Owner]

You are not attracted to those guys.🤦‍♂️ I don't know how I can make it any simpler for you. Those guys are out there. You walk past every one of them.

[Asker]

Or it’s more so there not attracted to me, because I’ve approached a lot of guys and have also been rejected about 80% of the time. Maybe I should just wait for a guy to take the time approach me for the first time🤷🏽‍♀️

[Opinion Owner]

80% Of the time. THAT LITTLE? You do realize the avg. Guy gets rejected 90% of time (best case scenario) right?

[Asker]

I was just trying to make myself feel better by saying 80%, realistically 100% of the time. Just trying not to let myself drop into a mindset of “I’m never going to find anyone” or for example “the kid that never gets picked to play tag on the playground”.
I know I’m not bad looking but I’m also not some super hot model.

[ChicoFromThe305]

You are actually doing it right, the issue seems to be them, people aren't taking dating as seriously as it used to be back in the day, just be patient and remain vigilant to the shitty people, you'll eventually find the person you seek for

[ProbablyClueless]

At that age, a lot of people are going through so much instability with life transitions that it's hard for anyone to commit, from a practical standpoint.

[jahaims]

Most people are immature

[Abbycado]

Tf is “hub”?

[Asker]

Unfortunately I haven’t hit xper2 so I can’t post saying porn hun

[MasterKS]

Free sex is in peak.

[Asker]

I'm not giving out free sex, so maybe for you it is but for me no it isn't