Why do men always see me as a friends with benefits/fuck buddy?

[Anonymous]

I theorize that men categorize women within five minutes of interacting with them. Everyone tells me that I seem classy and intelligent. I dress modestly, I don’t sleep around, I’m reserved, I’m educated and hardworking. However, men still try to place me in the friends with benefits/fuck buddy category.

Before anyone says, “it’s the men you’re choosing” or “some men don’t want relationships with anyone”, I had one guy who had been courting and dating one woman for almost a year (dates, trips, +1s to weddings and galas) while still trying to convince me to be his fuck buddy.

[ohsheeT]

I'm going to have to say it's because all the above that you listed. Plus i would probably say you have a very hot. Sexy body, hot, sexy personality. You're fun. You know how to laugh and you're just a free spirit. And I would say the men that are looking at you. This way are probably married and probably just so bored with their wives. It is nice to have a breath of fresh air once in a while.


I'm sure all this gonna take is the right place at the right time for the right person to walk up and see all the qualities about you. And we'll want you for a whole different purpose

[HawkPerception]

You have to give examples of you dressing modestly, because right now that's just words.

Guys see girls with traits like these as friends with benefits material

[Rei13]

I don’t know how to help you here without actually knowing you. I would try to look at yourself objectively with how you present on the outside (appearance/actions) and how you feel/react to things. You’re doing something that is putting you in that category but also it could just be the type of men you’re going for

[Anonymous]

No clue. Just keep turning them down and eventually word will get around in your social circle that you don’t do that.

[slatyb]

Are you having sex with no commitment? Or are you just not meeting anyone with serious intentions? by the way, who is "everyone?" The opinions of your relatives and female friends are worthless.

[Asker]

Men don’t approach me with serious intentions. These opinions come from casual acquaintances and colleagues.

[slatyb]

Where are you meeting these men? Find some group that includes single men so they can get a chance to know you.

[Iron_Man]

Maybe it’s the way you carry yourself and you don’t even realize it. You can’t allow yourself to be in that kind of a life style You have to put your foot down

[Asker]

But people have told me that they see me as “classy”/“elegant” and “wholesome. Also, once I see that this is what they are interested (I’m upfront and not being willing to engage with anything casual) I don’t hesitate to walk away. I’m not delusional enough to think that they will change their mind.

[Iron_Man]

Where are you meeting these men?

[Asker]

Work, through mutual friends, social groups

[Iron_Man]

Why don’t you try church

[jahaims]

You don't carry yourself the way you think you do. If most people feel they same way about you then you aren't representing yourself the way you think you are.

[LiamJHayden]

You cannot do much about how someone else views you, but yu can break the cycle. Make the guys wait a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

U aren’t enough for them , they think they can do better

[Asker]

That’s what I thought.

[MasterKS]

easy option, fuck buddy or friends with benefits is so easy you can detach anytime, who wants burdens?

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆 if you don't understand why it would do no good to explain it to you.🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[Danny_dan92]

Probably cause you give it up too easily

[Asker]

I’m not sleeping with these men.

[Danny_dan92]

Then how could you know that’s what they want with you?

[Asker]

So, I typically ask upfront what their intentions are and they either upfront about not wanting a relationship (and just wanting to be casual/FWBs) or they give some sort of non-answer.

[Danny_dan92]

Less men are willing to get into serious relationships these days due to societal changes in women

[Anonymous]

Because you let them.