Hi everyone, I’d love your perspective. ?

[blackrosetatoo]

I matched with a guy on a dating app last week, but I’d actually had a crush on him at the gym for 4 months. On our first date, he told me he’d liked me all along. In the whole week we’ve known each other, I’ve never texted him first — he’s always been the one to initiate. He wanted to see me every day that week, but I set some space so we only met twice (it was supposed to be three times, but he didn’t follow up on the last one).

On the second date I told him I wasn’t in the mood for sex, and he still spent the night cuddling and said he wanted me. He doesn’t really do small talk by text, though — he only messages to arrange meeting. The night before his 3-week trip he said “maybe we’ll meet tonight” but never confirmed.

So I’m confused. Is this him being genuinely interested but just low-effort/awkward with communication, or more of an ambivalent “situationship” type of pattern? What would you do if you were me?

[ohsheeT]

Well the first thing is to find out who he truly is and that is by doing what your doing. Holding back kinda of him not getting what he wants when he wants. Like let me see you before my 3 weeks I won't see you thing that's is a form of manipulation or. Not. but I would say yes because his choice of words would have been different.

So if his spends the night you say no. As someone who truly likes you will except this. For someone who just wants what he wants. Won't except it to a point. So it's perfect to get to know someone and who they really are really quick... its suck that you have to do it this way but you need to protect yourself

[aaron13547]

I think when someone knows something they know... you asking for other people's perspective on your situation, is asking for validation on an issue with one person from different people then that person. This guy is saying the right things but not acting in ways that align with what he is saying... maybe he doesn't realize he is doing it, But i think he does. The ultimate test is to call him out on it and see if he reacts to what you say or responses to what you say. Responses, thoughts and actions are the same. Reactions happens when I person has to think about what to say because what they say and what they think aren't in alignment.

[SueShe]

Obviously, this guy is only into you because he can fornicate with you. Since you told him that you are not into copulating that day, he got a cold shower, attempting to motivate you to have sex with him by saying that "he wanted you".

Seeing that his attempts were unfruitful, he slowly distances himself from you since you are not willing to give him the only thing that he really wants from you.

Have no illusions, men on dating apps are solely after one and one thing only with girls and that is to get into their pants. Failure to achieve that only goal usually results in moving to the next victim.

[Anonymous]

Dating app - Fail

The Gym - Fail

Texting - Fail.

Good luck with this going anywhere.

[Zack-Bann]

Don’t listen to any bozo knocking on dating apps or the gym
They are losers who will never help themselves


I don’t know what the issue is
You said you don’t wanna rush into sex and he respected your wish


He’s taking it slow because he doesn’t wanna scare you off


If you feel like it’s not going the way you want it to just talk to him about it


Relationships of any kind are all about the tough conversations


But keep in mind that it’s still early so don’t go too hard on him either

[WhitneySnow]

Sounds like he just wants sex

[RHK36]

It's obvious from the beginning he just wants sex

[AngryCarl2]

Anyone who uses a dating app is a loser.

[Anonymous]

Move on