He left his girlfriend for me, then reject me?

[Anonymous]

I had this guy on my instagram for about 4 years, liking me stories but we never talked. I answer one story to him, he claimed he had a girlfriend but keep the conversation going. Three days went by and he left his girlfriend on Saturday, that same day he asked me out. I told him it was to soon and that I thought it was better if he took his time, he insisted to see me. On Monday I went to his house, it was awkward, he gifted me two pokemon cards as that how we started the conversation, said that I was to way far from him, to come closer, we talked for about two hours, he mentioned his ex and that he wasn’t sure about dumping her (by message he told me that he didn’t find her attractive any more and he was planning to dump her like 3 months ago). He has depression and it’s diagnosted also anxiety and had some episodes before when was younger. I was feeling that being there was wrong, I told him he seem not comfortable, he say do you really want me to be honest? Sure, then he say I don’t look like my pictures. In never been told that by someone that I met online, I don’t use filters so it was quite a shock for me. I decided to leave and he say sorry several times and once I arrive home I notice he had deleated me from instagram but not on the phone. Now I feel really bad about my image and myself, (last year i had an eating desorder) as I never been told that. How can I overcome this? I feel ugly and insecure about myselft, I think that it was cruel by him to say that but I can’t stop thinking about it.

[ohsheeT]

Ok so first of all you need to love your self. This life is about you and you getting to the finish line

Understand anything that happens to you is for a reason. It's a positive reason when people come in to our lives. And they say something negative about us it's to make us stronger... we all have a destiny. And in order to get there and be the best you can be. You are put through many test many things that might hurt you to better you.

Think back and thing you have been through you chatted it. But somewhere down the road you said I ended to go through that to get where I'm at today

Or a long time ago someone said something that hurt you.

Where are they now. Who knows who cares what did you learn from it only you know.

Guess what before it's all over and done with if you do not have clarity, if you are not the best, you can be guess what? You're gonna go through many more ups and downs

It's your job to remember. It's just a test to make you better and make you stronger. It means nothing else

Get out of your own head just because someone says something about you does not mean that it's true only you can decide that

Most of the time when something does hurt that somebody has said it's because it is true, acknowledge it. Do something about it and move on. Don't hold yourself back by feeling sorry for yourself grow income better


In the scenario that you described, I think you did everything perfect. What else I would have said? Don't even go there. First of all , until you got to know him better that you did live and learn

But you walking away was the best movie you could make. You did good

He was going through what he's going through. You went there for a reason. Hopefully he gets to learn from that. Just like you got to learn from everything. That happened because we're all trying to get to our destiny

And just because something bad today happens doesn't mean that it's bad , it means there's a reason and a better will come from it

[Asker]

I appreciate your comment, the truth is that I met a lot of people online during my life (as I work a lot and i don’t go out to much) and it never happen to me before as I was always told I look the same as pictures (my last parter for example) , he also asked me what I thought about him phisically? For me looks don’t matter when it comes to people.
But now thinking about it he said some awfull things about his ex such as that he wasn’t turn on by her and he doesn’t love her (after saying that he wasn't so sure about the break up) also mention me that he has self steem issues. I never feel more incomfortable with meeting someone and i don’t want to stay where I’m not welcome. He has an habit of talking bad about women

[ohsheeT]

Yes see I'm the same way with or about people. It's who you are on the inside that matters to me. Because that tell me everything. People don't understand we are person the outside of our body's we are all energy. And when 2 energy connect. Then there's something there. And then when 2 energy's become one. Well better hold on to your hat. Because that's when it can be crazy good.

I read people pretty well and when they start talking like that guy was doing about his ex girl friends. Then he's going to do the same with you. How long have you been on here

[ohsheeT]

And if your more on the internet you have talk to many guys and you should know how to read them buy now

[ohsheeT]

To be honest with you I'm surprised you don't have tons of guy messaging you your energy has me curious about things. If you want can you DM me or add me

[Summeroflove]

The fact someone left you from someone else is saying you were a escape in different cases yes sometimes they have a fantasy then jump to the next person….

They don’t like being alone and are cowards. They like having someone to manipulate and feed off of especially if he can make someone like you feel bad enough for him that you’ll enable. He wasn’t happy in his last relationship…. And you were his escape to jump to. You were a life raft off that sinking ship until he can get to the next one.

[Nikki1989]

This situation has absolutely nothing to do with your appearance and everything to do with his severe instability and insecurity. You were not the problem; you were caught in the middle of his crisis.

[Abbycado]

You move on.

[Asker]

Not much a practical take, it’s better to not comment if you won’t apport nothing ! Hope you talk more with tour friends than that when it comes to matters of life

[Abbycado]

Your friends? Alright.

Apport? XD

@HollyK21 look at this fuckwit.

[Asker]

Hope you had understood my response. Not offense
(Si me parece que es mejor aportar algo más a una conversación que, segui adelante, es un poco obvio el mensaje y me daría pena si hablaran así con un amigo)

[HollyK21]

I just know she was typing fast as hell, all in her feelings lol. How is it not practical to move on? I think the situation was pretty cut and dry — he felt catfished so he deleted her. What more should we advise her do? Obsess over the loss and hang on to the situation? Because that’s all way more practical right lol fucking hell.

[Asker]

@HollyK21 right but I don’t use any filters and I was told that I look the same as pictures. I speak several lenguages and English is not my first one. As I work a lot I don’t have time to go out and I do meet people online. I’m not obsesss over anyone but I’m so much critical and perfeccionist to myselft that the comment hurt me.

[HollyK21]

Even if English isn’t your first language it was very clear that you were being rude to Abby when all she said was to move on. Like why does she need to “talk more with her friends when it comes to matters of life”? You’re insinuating that she isn’t worldly, and there’s no need for all that. In any case, if your feelings were hurt over him thinking you looked different in person then that’s just a matter of working on your self esteem and confidence. But in general if I were you I wouldn’t consider him a loss. Nothing good’s coming from a man who breaks up with his girlfriend and starts pursuing other women within the same day. Even more of a red flag that he was emotionally cheating with you (and whoever else) behind her back rather than having the decency to break up with her first. He’s a complete scumbag.

[Abbycado]

@HollyK21 is much more diplomatic and eloquent XD

[HollyK21]

I try with these people Abby lmaoo

[Anonymous]

I think you should move on.

[In_Trance]

Move on

[Asker]

It’s always easy to say, but negative comments are not easy to take. If not just tell your friend to not be sad when something bad happen to them, really? I never thought about it

[In_Trance]

Easy and difficult are just frames of mind.
Try looking at it from a sense of value perspective
He clearly does not value you.
You are getting no value for the time you are investing to this situation