Guys, If I'm interested in my piano student and I'm older could I be accused of grooming?

[Lalalove11]

I can feel the attraction is mutual. He is in his third year of college so probably 21.

I'm 25. I'm teaching in a laid back type place. It is not a proper school. It's one on one classes.

I've had mixed responses about this with most saying it's okay because we are consenting adults. However I wouldn't want to pursue while I'm teaching. I would rather wait until the year is finished or ask him to find another teacher if he wants to take me out.

[HawkPerception]

I really don't see these things as a big deal. As long as he's past the age of puberty and there's mutual attraction and consent on both ends, there shouldn't be an issue. Society is fucked up now where they immediately call someone who's older (especially in a teacher student relationship) a predator.

I think you're playing in dangerous waters (depending on how young you're talking about). And I don't want to give you any advice that would get you in trouble, but if I was 16 years old and an attractive 25 year old woman said something a long the lines of this after taking me aside

[Lalalove11]

It's a laid back music school. We don't do grading or anything. I have mostly young kids that I teach. Just teaching basics of piano. this guy is my age though, I wouldn't go for someone even 18 is too young. When he isn't my student anymore I might give it a shot

[HawkPerception]

If he's your age then wtf? How is this even a question. Of course it's okay. I say go for it. I'd still use a similar approach though.

(A lot of my previous opinion was cut off by GaG for whatever reason).

But something along the lines of taking him aside and saying "Hey I want to share something personal and I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I'm actually pretty attracted to you and would love to go out with you some time. If you need some time to think about it, please take all the time you need. Also if you don't want me as your teacher anymore because it makes you uncomfortable, I completely understand."

[Kaneki05]

Personally I don't see as such. But some might, though I'd just check the law on it where you are. Because if it's not illegal then it don't matter what others think.
I'd disagree with it been illegal but if it is then don't do it and play it safe.

[Lalalove11]

Yeah will definitely play it safe. I don't wanna date while teaching him. I can however defer him to a teacher if he was interested in me that way

[ohsheeT]

Well there are two different types of attraction is it looks or is it energy

That's when you start to get close to him and the inside of your body starts to feel as if your being touched slow motion very sensual on the in side of you. The thing is if you feel it he feels it and that's when it become very awkward because nobody knows why you each feel what you feel. And it's because both energy s with in are connecting. It's one of the most beautiful feelings in the world that you will feel

[ohsheeT]

No that you might be considered the hot teacher he's 21 if he likes you he wants you

[Cormac995]

Wait until he graduates then make a move. You don't want to lose your job to a scandal and worse if you did it could make finding a new job harder if you're new employers found out about it. Depending on how things go like if he tells you that he's interested tell him how you feel back but I advise even if you both like each other hold out until after they graduate to start things. Besides what's wrong with taking it slow? Slow burn relationships that are patient have the highest rate of successful marriages in my opinion. there's nothing wrong with being friends for now and getting to know each other more before you get into a romantic situation if anything it will probably lead to smoother sailing in the future if you do start to date.

[Cormac995]

Although something that comes to mind is I think some universities actually allow student teacher relationships as long as they notified about it and ethical boundaries are being maintained. The big issue is the scandal it can cause for the school so it's possible that if you look into things, it might actually be acceptable under certain circumstances as long as you follow protocol.

[Lalalove11]

Yes it's like a small music place. Not even really a school. Like they sometimes teach exam stuff to students. But we don't do the grading. We are just teaching songs. It's laid back. Yanno?
But yeah I'll wait for sure. Hopefully he likes me too 😂

[Hellraiser1984]

Its just a matter of personal ethics. You can try but you may regret it and lose a student and may not get anymore. Its up to you. I wouldn't because of the problems it may it cause. that's just me. Do what you want. Ethics and morality these days seem to be extinct.

[Hardon-Collider]

You need to separate the two contexts. You must speak to the school and explain that you can no longer be his teacher due to your feelings. It is a conflict of interest. Then, you must speak to him directly, clearly stating that you are stepping away from the role of teacher, not the person, and that you will now be his friend. This creates a clean separation that is responsible and respectful to both of you.

[RHK36]

Brains aren't fully developed until 25, so maybe a tiny bit. Doesn't really matter to anyone, but you.

[Lalalove11]

Mm yeah he might be a bit immature
But I don't really know him enough yet

[bowenw]

First find out what the policy is at the school about relationships between teachers and students. Then try to see if what you're feeling is mutual and to what extent.

[Lalalove11]

I don't know how to find that out except by asking 🤣😭

[bowenw]

I suggest seeing how things go for a while without saying anything.

[Lalalove11]

Good advice. I'll do this. But if he makes a move I'll have to do something. Ask him to find another teacher or something

[bowenw]

Yes if the school doesn't permit socializing between teachers and students, which I assume they don't.

[lightbulb27]

No but i know a guy (40) that had affair with student… around 18 to 21 in comlege and he got caught and put on sex offender registry.

[In_Trance]

Tell him you like how he uses his fingers snd you wanna see if he can tickle anything besides the ivories

[Lalalove11]

Lmao come on😭😭😭

[zagor]

If he was 13, probably. At 21-ish I don't think it's a problem.

[LiamS95]

See if he makes a move?

[LiamS95]

You coulc alsko makd it easy for him to make a move as long as it's nog too obvious or desperate looking. Feel free to dm me anytime.

[Lalalove11]

I feel awkward about it like I'm crossing that boundary and could lose my job

[LiamS95]

I understand, that's why you cannot make the first move

[Lalalove11]

Damn okay.. I think I see where you're going 🤣so if I make him make the first move I'm not in the wrong?

[LiamS95]

I would think so. Be aware of your employers policies between students and teachers but you're both legal age adults so no hanky panky during the lessons but whst you both do on your own time is nobody elses business.

[Lalalove11]

Okay, that's true. Yes he asked me today if I added him on Instagram which I didn't. Lol. He said someone did with my name. Was weird cos I have a rare name.
Then he also asked what age I was. And class felt awkward because I sense possible mutual attraction

[LiamS95]

Well, see where it goes, just be csreful.

[Lalalove11]

Definitely. But if a guy asks your age.. means he's interested?

[LiamS95]

Quite possibly

[Anonymous]

Before you said you were the same age. And why are you only asking guys these questions?

[Lalalove11]

I don't know. And yeah I guessed his age before , he's in his third year at college though I thought he was in his final year. So I'm not even 100 percent sure. Thanks anyways

[TallAnon]

21 and 25? No

[Lalalove11]

Okay I don't think so either two random people said I was.

[Bklynbadboy12]

How much older are you

[Lalalove11]

I'm 25. He would be 20 youngest age. If my maths is right. Cos he's in third year of college, unless he took a year out. So I'm five years older at most. Maybe four or three.

[Bklynbadboy12]

No your not grooming him

[LiamS95]

Possibly

[Lalalove11]

Mm okay what makes you think that, or more so I'll just be accused?

[In_Trance]

Stop trolling this. You've asked multiple times

[Lalalove11]

I guess I'm overthinking and had a negative few reactions on Reddit today

[In_Trance]

Stop trolling it there too and this kind of thing won't happen

[Lalalove11]

Loll.. 🤣