Do you believe in waiting till you're old to find the right person?

[Anonymous]

Many young people are under the impression that the longer they wait, the more likely they are to find the right person. I'm gonna let you in on a rude awakening... if you think you would have plenty of options by the time you are 45+ years old, you're lying to yourself. By that age, you'd be lucky if ANYONE wants to date you when you're old and ugly or a single parent. If anyone attractive wants to date you, it's usually because they want to use you for something. Your dating pool will be filled with other divorced, jaded, bitter old, unattractive people who claim they don't want to ever marry again. You won't be attracted to anyone around your own age. Nobody would be attracted to you. The few ones with daddy or mommy issues might date you for a while before the relationship ultimately ends.

[HawkPerception]

I've never thought that way. I've always sought out finding the love of my life. I genuinely thought I did a few times in my life and thought I'd eventually get married to my past partners, but I guess they didn't feel the same way because they left me, minus the last relationship I was in. That was the first relationship I broke up with the girl in due to being a mismatch.

It's exactly as you said. The older you get, the less options you have, the less chance you have at starting a family. I've always known this and because of it, I've always wanted to find my partner early on in life. It would've been nice if I could've found a high school love and lived happily ever after with her, but guess it's not in the cards for me to be that lucky in life.

[Anonymous]

lol how is anyone even offended over this?

[avery58]

No, though not because of what you said, but because the older and more mature you get the less likely you are to fall deeply in love with someone. At least in the puppy love, butterflies in your stomach - intense - kind of way. Because you're nowhere close to your hormonal/sexual prime or look at the world through the same, more innocent, lenses.

There are exceptions of course, but I'd say it's like that for the majority. Love at that age is probably more so about companionship, rather than finding the love of your life. There are plenty of single people in that 40+ age bracket that would prefer someone around their same age for that purpose, rather than a more immature 20 year old though... I'd say most probably tend to.

[Asker]

you may prefer someone of your own age. Men usually would not.

[avery58]

Well I'm not 40 and I'm taken, so I'm not talking about myself but of what I've observed about most single people that age of both genders.

[Asker]

@avery58

I have a lot of experience talking to older people too. The truth is... dating slows down to nothing by the time you hit 45. Most singles that age ARE NOT dating. The barely few one who do don't reflect the fact that the vast majority of people that age aren't dating.

why?

because they don't find other people their own age attractive. young people don't tend to find them attractive either. People also become more asocial with age.

[Asker]

you won't believe how many old men who are still single in their 50s, who claim they're only willing to date a woman of childbearing age since he still wants to have children. But why would a beautiful, attractive young woman settle for an old, ugly, aging man when she can get someone much more attractive and vibrant?

[Anonymous]

Wisely spoken. Not many understand this

[ohsheeT]

So what is the moral of your story

[WindAtMyBack]

There is no reason to intentionally wait until you're old. There is also no reason to intentionally stick with someone just because you are young. There is no hurry, so yea, wait until the right person comes along. If that doesn't happen until you are 60+, then nothing is wrong with that.

Dating gets EASIER when you get older, not harder like you seem to think. I currently know two people within two years of my age who are getting married for the first time. Why? Because that's when they found someone they wanted to marry. I know a bunch more older people who got married, but not for the first time.

You might be surprised how much dating and screwing around goes on with older people. It's nothing at all like you seem to think.

[Asker]

average age of marriage really isn't in your 40s. Its in 20-30s.

[WindAtMyBack]

That's completely irrelevant to your question.

[Asker]

@windatmyback

why would it not be relevant?

[WindAtMyBack]

Because you aren't asking about the average age. You are asking if there is an advantage to waiting, not what people actually do.

[Asker]

@windatmyback

average age of when people get married is a reflection of how old most people are when they marry

[Nikki1989]

I, personally, know people in their 50s, 60s, and even 70s that are newly married. That proves your theory is just a big steaming turd, now doesn't it?

[Abbycado]

Lol “sage” advice from another anon. XD

@HollyK21

[Asker]

Dont follow my advice then. Lets see where u will end up by 50

[Abbycado]

I have a boyfriend thank you very much. I have no shortage of attention either.

You pontificate as if you have this life experience at the age of 25-29. Why would I listen to you that hasn’t gone through what you are preaching?

[HollyK21]

Anon is 100% single and gives her friends shitty advice🙃

[Abbycado]

Yep XD

[Asker]

@abbycado

Your boyfriend means nothing. He can dump you next yr. You think you won't spend the rest if your life single just cuz u have a boyfriend?

How naive

[Asker]

@HollyK21

Im pregnant, getting married in a few months

[HollyK21]

Given your horrible advice I’d never believe that, and you can’t prove it.

[Abbycado]

Sure, sure. XD

Sounds like you are getting married because he knocked your dumbass up and is paying the price.

That’ll last lmao

[Asker]

@abbycado

You can pity me all you want. Just wait till you're 45 and most men dont want you cuz you can't give them children

[Asker]

@HollyK21

I dont need to prove to you that being old and ugly would make it harder to find a man

[HollyK21]

Sounds like you’re projecting lol feeling old and ugly must suck a lot. She doesn’t have a man or a pregnancy Abby she’s full of shit. Her thoughts around dating could never convince me otherwise lol women in relationships don’t have this mindset. We would know.

[Abbycado]

Exactly, Holly.

[Asker]

@HollyK21 @abbycado

You both know what im saying is true

You're both just in denial cuz the truth hurts you too much

[Asker]

@HollyK21

Nah girl. Im not fulla shit. You're fulla shit if you are delusional enough to believe men want old ugly women.

[HollyK21]

Guess you better start getting your act together then, it’s never too late to turn it around and find an actual man that doesn’t exist in your imagination. Anyway I’m done wasting time going back and forth with a coward who doesn’t even have the balls to be off anon. You don’t even believe in your own words enough to stand behind them. Shameful.

[Asker]

@HollyK21

You're better off getting your act together right now than to pretend that you will have plenty of men beating down your door to date you at 45. By the time you're 45, the only men who are interested in you would be senior citizens in their 60s.

[Asker]

@HollyK21

I have a man already. Im pregnant.

[Abbycado]

Holly, it made a new account and blocked me lol

Do you find women my age still attractive? ↗

[HollyK21]

Literally like an hour ago I saw that page and the red flags went up. What a fucking weirdo! I just blocked. People like her need to step out of their parents basement and try actually creating the lives the lie about online. Smh lol

[Abbycado]

@HollyK21 I’m started to wonder if this is actually a guy that thinks if he convinces enough young girls to get out there, he will finally get a date and soon! lol

[Asker]

@HollyK21 @abbycado

I totally didn't make a new account at all.

How far will you go to convince yourself dating gets better as you get older?

If you dont believe me, wait 10 years and see how many men would want you.

[HollyK21]

We are so past engaging in the topic on your post because you are not a real fucking person. Just a lifeless weirdo who makes fake profiles and identities because your real life sucks. Don’t waste time trying to convince me or Abby of otherwise because you could never.

[HollyK21]

De-anonymize yourself if you really believe what you’re saying, or explain why you won’t take off the veil to have this conversation.

[Asker]

@HollyK21

why would I de anonymize myself?

so that crazy weirdos like you would stalk, harrass and kill me for saying something you didn't like?

I have already convinced you... you just won't admit what I'm saying is the truth.

I can sense the hatred, bitterness and denial in your voice.

[Asker]

@HollyK21

you and Abby are definitely not over arguing at all.

if you truly were, you would have left long ago and never returned.

Take a look at the other answerer who said
"lol how is anyone even offended over this?"

[HollyK21]

You know you’re just making excuses for not having the courage to ask this question without anonymity. Let me ask you this, if your conviction were so strong then why do you need to hide in order to say it? Admit that you were scared of using your own voice to speak your mind. How the hell would anyone stalk and harass you behind, for example, “Joan1723”? We can’t link people to personal information here without including a full name or something along those lines? I see that you’re clearly triggered by me calling you the weirdo that you are but at least I can say it with my fucking chest. I don’t need anon. YOU do.

[Asker]

@HollyK21

just because I'm anonymous, it does not mean what I'm saying is not true

take a look at how there ARE other answerers on here who do have the MATUIRTY to agree with me.

if you're already harassing me NON STOP with me being anonymous...

I can't imagine what you would do if I did show my profile.

I don't need crazy immature stalkers like you, hunting down my address to shoot me for saying something you didn't like hearing on GAG.

just because you didn't like what you heard, it does not mean it isn't true.

[HollyK21]

What you’re saying is bullshit and if you really believed it you wouldn’t say it with a veil. Fuck off coward. Loser. And no I did not expand your response to see the rest because you don’t agree with it anyway. Bye.

[Asker]

@HollyK21

I know you agree with me.

Thats why Abby decided to shut up a long time ago.

she's smart enough to know its a fight she will never win

[HollyK21]

You’re trying to antagonize because you’re a loser with no life or friends. She actually has a real man and is busy. Not a fake pregnancy and virtual bullshit. If you can’t answer my questions then hush your mouth, very easy. Learn how to take rejection too because I dismissed your weird ass and you keep talking. You are an incel, not a woman, probably a basement dwelling man on a fake pink. Until you take the anonymity off (COWARD), I won’t believe anything else or be responding to any more efforts to get a response from me. Honestly talking to me has probably been the most female engagement that you’ll ever get in your sorry life.

[Asker]

@HollyK21

I'm not antagonizing you. I'm just teaching people on here to do the right thing and stop being so picky so they can save themselves a painful, lonely life when they get older.

Especially your age at 33, is why you have such an outrageous, explosive reaction toward my post. You dont have much longer and you know that.

You're better off off following my advice than trying to convince yourself you will have more options as you get older.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHERS WHO AGREE WITH ME ON HERE

[zagor]

Not so. I know several people who had miserable initial relationships/marriages who later found someone they were happy with. Your attitude sounds like a 25 year old.

[Asker]

very few people find love after 45

[zagor]

Just not true. There was a guy at the church my parents attend who was (presumably) happily married until his late 60's, when his first wife died. He then married again, which lasted almost 10 years before that wife died. Finally he married a third time, and she outlived him.

That isn't exactly a unique story among the elder of their friends.

[Asker]

@zagor

rare exceptions do not make the rule.

problem with human nature is that people try their best keep their hopes up. Trying to cast rare exceptions as the general rule.

[Asker]

you're letting on people for false hope, by telling them they will marry in their 60s. Chances of this happening is very very very small

[zagor]

Seem to be an awful lot of exceptions.

My cousin's ex recently remarried in his 60's and he's got a cartload of mental issues.

[Asker]

@zagor

No there aren't awful lot of rare exceptions. I only know of 1 person who married in their 60s via online. 0 in real life

[Anonymous]

Not necessarily. One girl cheated feelings in me that I need reproduced. If I dont feel similarly with another girl, it would feel disingenuous to commit to her long term.

[chenyu]

You have to believe that you can change your destiny. First of all, you must make yourself strong and have your own personal charm!

[Anonymous]

If I’m dating at age 45, I’m going to date a hot divorced person.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I'm still waiting for the right girl and nothing happened.

[exitseven]

I suspect that this is true.