I really don’t know what I want anymore. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

I’m 27 and I don’t know what I want anymore. I really wanted a girlfriend but honestly this year has been the first time I’ve really ever asked myself why? Do I want a girlfriend just so I can have sex with them? Or do I want a partner? I don’t know. I’ve never really had anything ever materialize into a relationship. I’ve been pretty much a single guy my whole life. I’ve had sex a few amount of times but it’s been a while since the last time I did. I just don’t know if it’s the loneliness that causes me to feel this way or if I’m just a weirdo. I do enjoy being single I don’t have to worry about anyone but sometimes I wished I had someone who I could talk to about good things or bad things in my life. Someone that’s more special than my family members or my friends. And I wish I had someone I could have sex with so I wouldn’t have to beat off, I don’t like having to do that and I usually feel guilty about it after I do it. I feel like though I often just shoot down many possibilities because they’re someone I wouldn’t have sex with. And often I feel like I prevent myself because I don’t feel attractive enough, or ashamed about how long it’s been since I’ve had sex.

And there’s the opposite to this were I enjoy doing whatever I want, doing whatever makes me feel good, enjoying my solitude. I sometimes feel that there’s isn’t a person alive that makes me want to change my life to be in a relationship. I just don’t know what I want. I’m 27 i turn 28 in 3 months. I told myself when was younger that I 30 would be the latest id have a kid because after that I’d be too old to take care of newborns especially if it’s my first time. And women don’t want to have kids in their 30’s.

I just feel like I’m just too late, like with most things in life. I know it probably doesn’t even make sense and sounds stupid. I know no one ever responds and don’t expect it, so this is just me just ranting about my life and getting my thoughts off my chest.

[Selene1600000]

You do not sound weird at all, you sound like someone trying to honestly figure out the difference between wanting intimacy, sex, companionship, and independence. A lot of people reach their late 20s and realize they were chasing the idea of a relationship without fully understanding what they actually wanted from it. You are not too late for relationships, sex, or having a family, and the fact you are questioning yourself this deeply probably means you are becoming more self aware, not falling behind.

[RespectfulGuy]

As humans, we have basic needs. Apart from food and shelter, we need companionship, sex and social acceptance.

Much like without food and water, our physical bodies will breakdown, without companionship, sex and social life, our mental and emotional health will suffer.

Hence don't break your mental and emotional needs into parts as if you can just drink water and not eat food.

Companionship, sex, healthy social life all go hand in hand to give us a healthy and contented life.

You're not weird.

You merely over think. And modern society doesn't do you favor with feminism and pro female in the court of law.

Why opinion is, want it all. Companionship, sex and social life. Let your would be partner know you want these.

Then work toward a sincere and truthful relationship. Give to her and tell her you hope she will treat you similarly.

Who knows, you may get married and have your first child before 30. Good luck!

[Nikki1989]

You want meaningful connection on your terms, which will never be a reality for most people. Start working on the confidence and vulnerability now, and the clarity on what you want will follow.

[Asker]

Well how long will that take? I feel like I been told that since I was in middle school