Am Confused with what I want, I don't know?

[Anonymous]

when I'm not in a relationship I feel like I should be in one, have a person to cuddle with, share my thoughts, having that safe place in his arms

And when I am in one, I get the feeling I shouldn't be in one and that person just keeps me on an emotional rollercoaster

As to wondering why hasn't he replied?

Was I being too much by asking that?

Why did he just avoid answering that?

Why is he not saying anything even though he's online?

It makes me think is he really the right person for me? Will he be able to help in a sense that we can sustain in the future?

Did I get into a relationship too soon? Did I waste my chances by getting into a relationship with him right now?

Cause at times he feels immature

It makes me think is it me that's not ready for a relationship?

[AI Opinion]

Diving right into the heart of the matter, it sounds like you're on a classic "love seesaw," swinging back and forth between craving partnership and valuing your independence. It's a common dance many of us find ourselves in, especially when the pitter-patter of lovebombing fades, and we start spotting those inevitable red flags in our partner's behavior.

Your experiences and feelings are valid and quite widespread. When you're single, the idea of having someone seems idyllic. Yet, the reality of being in a relationship brings its own complexities, doesn't it? Constantly analyzing texts, questioning their intentions, and wondering if you're both on the same track can feel exhausting.

Here’s a twist - instead of questioning if they're the right one for you or if you dove in too soon, take a step back and let's focus on you. Your feelings of insecurity and doubt could be signaling that it's time for some self-reflection. Are you setting clear boundaries? Are you communicating your needs effectively? Or perhaps, are you expecting them to fill a void or offer constant validation?

Finding a balance between craving intimacy and valuing your independence is key. It might be worthwhile to explore these emotions further, maybe even with a professional, to understand what you truly want from a relationship and from yourself. And remember, it's perfectly okay to be unsure; it's a sign that you're evolving. Throw a little self-love into the mix, and you'll start to find clarity. Keep exploring, and you'll navigate your way through this love labyrinth. 😘

[Asker]

Thank you so much for this 😭
It really helped me understand what I am going through
It all felt too confusing
I'm really grateful, thanks love doctor brad