Is it wrong to have an friends with benefits while pursuing someone else?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing this woman for almost three years but she won’t commit to me. We are pretty much in a relationship without the title. She says that she’s not ready for a relationship.

However, I’m also interested in having an friends with benefits situation with someone in my friend circle.

Would it be wrong to begin this type of dynamic?

[Simslover92]

Communication is key. Let her know you are thinking about a friends with benefits with someone else and wondering if it would be okay with her because she may think you guys are exclusive despite not having a title.

[Anonymous]

Well your question is sort of two-part.

I don't friends with benefits's are OK. So i disagree with the initial part of the question. There should be no such thing as a friends with benefits. But who am I to tell anyone how to live.

Secondly you're asking is it OK to have a friends with benefits while pursuing someone. Well friends with benefits is an arrangement. So it SHOULD be fine to your friends with benefits, if not the need to understand the definition of friends with benefits. But is it OK to the person you're pursuing? Probably not. If it is 1. I question that person's self respect and quality. And 2. Even if they are OK with it *because presumably this is acceptable behavior in today's society, it's not to me). But it should end IMMEDIATELY. When you begging a relationship with that person.

Again, I consider this entire question low rent. Sorry.

[Staximus]

Just don't be a shady bastard and tell her. If she's "not ready for a relationship" after 3 years, she never will be. You are obviously not the right guy for her to commit to, so it's time to get on with your life and find another girl who is more serious.

[Zionne]

It’s only wrong if you’re creating false expectations, if the almost-relationship woman thinks you’re exclusive, or the friend-with-benefits thinks you’re pursuing something serious. As long as everyone knows the truth and no one is being misled, you’re not doing anything unethical.

[DishLady]

If she doesn't want a relationship then you're not in a relationship. But why drag some other woman into a friends with benefits? That's not fair to the friends with benefits woman.

[HollyK21]

So what’re you looking for? Commitment or casual fun? Because technically the lady you’ve been seeing for 3 years is already your friends with benefits because she doesn’t want anything more.

[JRenegade]

Tell her, see how she reacts, she'll either

let it happen (she's not serious about wanting you)

Have a meltdown, crying, and calling you names, etc (she'll never commit, but likes to have you to herself)

Or

Commit and lock you down (she's actually serious)

Ultimately though, I'd move on from this girl, I'm 90% certain she never will commit
The "I'm not ready for a relationship" line is bullshit most of the time

[Anonymous]

Yes, continue being a dupe for this other woman who won't commit to you. Don't give yourself the opportunity to enjoy sex with another woman who isn't playing head games with you. Stay right where you are - going nowhere.

Hope this helped.

[PeachyPie93]

You aren't committed so she really has no say on what you do.. you could talk to her about it just to be honest but tbf it really doesn't matter.

[slatyb]

"Seeing" -- are you having sex?

"Interested" -- is there someone willing?

[Anonymous]

I would say you're free to do what you want in that situation.

[Alex-Snow]

Stick with one at a time

[Anonymous]

So you are just another cheating male?

[Anonymous]

Ask her.