Am I reading too much into my relationship with a work colleague?

[Anonymous]

Me and this girl joined the company in September and we quickly began hanging out

Honestly we have a level of chemistry and tension that you couldn’t manufacture if you tired

But she’s not into dating coworkers and also has a boyfriend (although I don’t think they’re too serious)

As time goes on we get closer and closer

Now she even texts me on my private phone at midnight sometimes

I will be the first to admit it: I like her. A LOT.

So I’m worried I’m reading too much into it because I want it to be true

But every time I try to distance myself I end up closer than before
And her efforts are undeniable

Any advice on how to come out ahead in this situation?

[Selene1600000]

She has a boyfriend and set a boundary about not dating coworkers, so pushing this further will likely create drama or hurt people. Her mixed signals don’t change that, and getting closer will only make it harder for you. If you want to come out ahead, keep things professional, create some distance, and only revisit it if she’s single and clear about wanting something real.

[Asker]

She got fired last month
Out of sight out of mind

But I do miss her quite a bit

In a way it’s for the best
Although I hate that she lost her job, she deserved so much better

And who knows… we did stay distant friends… if she’s ever single, and no longer my coworker, I will ask her out properly

If not, so be it

[Anonymous]

do you want something serious with this girl? or just a fling? because she'll treat you exactly how she's treating her current boyfriend... not a good look. what are you two even talking about? work stuff or more?

and, agreeably, dating coworkers is not a smart move and can get messy if things go wrong.

[Anonymous]

I think you should distance yourself. Don't lose yourself.

[Asker]

My mind keeps saying that as well but I think it’s too late
I’m already hooked

I want her in my life
I’ve been down this road before and always came out losing

I can’t help but feel this knot in my stomach telling me that I deserve a shot at happiness

Maybe I’m sinking into my own delusions but somehow it’s the only thing that makes sense

I hate feeling this way
I thought I was above it
Been emotionally unavailable for hears now
And yet here we are

[Opinion Owner]

If i say dont do it it'll make you want her even more. So risk it and tell her your feelings. She will either respond greatly or reject you AND once she does leave her in the dust... either way dont be friends with her, you'll just have these lingering feelings eating you alive

[In_Trance]

Yeah