Dating

Hooked up with someone else days after meeting my man?

Hey all! I’ve been seriously seeing this man for 2.5 months now. I thought I disclosed it to him within the first couple weeks or so that I had slept with someone else the same week I had met him, but I apparently didn’t make it clear on the exact day and ended up shocking him when it casually came up again (maybe 3-4 weeks in) and he realized it was only a couple days after the fact. He and I also had hooked up that weekend we met, so he said that though he recognized I didn’t do anything “wrong” he found it to be wrong/“immoral” from his perspective bc sleeping with multiple people he just met was something he personally wouldn’t do.

Ever since that one time, I have chosen him even when we hadn’t discussed exclusivity. I had just gotten out of a 3.5 year relationship this past July, never had gone home with someone from the bar before and decided to throw caution to the wind that evening. From this I realized that 1) hook-ups are fun but not really worth it for me or my thing and 2) what I really wanted/felt fulfilled from was spending time with this guy I’m seeing.

It’s become a recurring difficult conversation and he says he thinks about it to the point that he doesn’t know if he can get past it. I love him and he loves me, and I understand why he feels the hurt he does. I just feel frustrated to be judged (and he’s admit he’s judging me) by this one action I made early on when I’ve shown him loyalty many times after the fact. He says what he’s been trying to do is just “forget it” but I think that’s just trying to deny the existence of something that undeniably happened. Any advice on how to work through this or just in general?

There’s so much love here and will always try my hardest before giving up, but will also always respect someone’s decision.

Hooked up with someone else days after meeting my man?
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