Are girls constantly waiting for a man to say just one wrong thing so that she can have an excuse to dump him?

[Anonymous]

Updates

6 mo

I'm asking because it feels that way to me.

Updates

6 mo

I have been active on GAG since the spring or summer of 2025. Over the course of 23 years or so, I have had many conversations with females on the internet. I have also been around a lot of females at my former job of 22 years. As the years have gone by I have felt that this issue has gotten worse. Women don't seem to have as much tolerance anymore. The problem with this is, those same women are probably never going to get into a good relationship because they throw every guy out quickly.

[Anonymous]

If you hurt her enough times, then yeah, some women will wait until he says something truly awful so that leaving him feels more justified.

Usually, there is a LOOOOOOONG lead up that men don't want to pay attention to though.

For example: My boyfriend keeps pressuring me for anal sex even though I told him countless times I do not want to ever try it, I told him this in the beginning of the relationship, and if he wants anal that badly, he will need to end things with me and find someone who wants to do recieve anal sex.

He always apo0logises and promises not to pressure me again... but a few weeks or even days later, there he is pressuring me for anal when I am in the middle of sex with him, when I am half asleep, when I am drunk etc.

So now I feel like he doesn't respect me, gets off on the idea of harming me, and is possibly planning to anally rape me when I am vulnerable (ie. drunk). So now I feel unsafe and unloved, and I am planning my escape in case he does escalate and try to anally rape me.

From his perspective, when I leave, he will probably tell everyone I left over one stupid comment or that it was a joke etc. But the reality is that I begged him to stop for over a year and now I am in fear for my safety atp, so I have to leave him.

Should I have left sooner? Yeah probably, I just thought he mooved me enough to stop hurting me and would listen when I begged him to stop doing somnething that hurts me. I guess not.

So yeah, now I am leaving because he said "one wrong thing" The part most men leave out is that they said that wrong thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

[UrLoveMocha]

I feel like most women have already caught onto how modern relationships work and a lot of them would rather just not deal with it.. it’s like Ariana Grande said, “thank you, next”.

[Anonymous]

I do feel that some women live in such abundance with countless choice of options that they are looking for reasons to disqualify men more than actually being fair to them and making a good honest effort.

It’s something they will have to learn for themselves the hard way, if they ever do at all. Their ego will be their downfall unless they snap out of it and start valuing people for who they are. Nobody is perfect. Women have to drop their guard a bit too (and also just lighten up a little if I had to give my two cents) if two people are ever going to get together.

You know what I mean? They really do take a lot of things seriously that just aren’t that serious, and it’s not a pleasant energy to have to deal with. Men want pleasant, fun loving women and most just don’t come off that way these days. Very guarded and disrespectful, “do tricks monkey” sort of vibe towards men, like “entertain me well enough and I’ll think about it.”

Nope not playing that game. “Come correct ladies. If you like what you see, meet me in the middle.” You will not have success with any good quality man if you can’t do this. But “Oh, being authentic is difficult isn’t it? Right! Tell me a bit more about how it feels to be a man!” Men that they treat so poorly when they’re just trying to get to know them more.

[Shiprex]

Nowadays women are getting anxious because they sense men stepping away from being around them so there's a lack of protection they were used to (taken for granted) and they realise that men are no longer really giving a shit about them in public. So this behaviour of LOOKING for reasons to complain is just a symptom of the current framing of society and interpersonal relationships

[Minxxie]

Men ARE the danger women face in public, so if men were stepping away and ignoring us we would not need protection?

That sounds like a dream. What reality are you living in where men leave women alone? How do I get there?

[TwoDecisions]

@Minxxie I know right?

What he says sounds like a utopia. The thing men "need to protect" us from is other men. If they just left us alone we'd not need to be protected. I want this place he's making me dream about.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

👆🏼👆🏼

[JesseP1nk]

@Minxxie You still feel that way if you need help to get out from the burning building, getting out from the car you crashed? Next time something similar thing happen then shut up. ok?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

@JesseP1nk
... How many burning buildings and car crashes one can experience in a lifetime, on average? You're cherry picking one hypothetical positive rescue event, it's very far from balancing all the other negative events a woman can face among men

[JesseP1nk]

@Maybe_Maybe_not read one more time what i wrote - if she even need in SIMILAR situation then she should shut up. And if you are kind of sexist that think if some men do bad things = all men do bad things then its not much to discuss with you, is there :)

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

@JesseP1nk
I can read it like that, but then it wouldn't bring much thought to the table, it would just sound like a quick and loaded dismissal. Based on how you popped up in the thread, it's EXTREMELY likely you would consider me misandrous, and I would understand.

[Chthou95]

@Minxxie Women have no problem dating and sleeping with dangerous men. Give me a break

[Shiprex]

@TwoDecisions you're aware that men are double the likelihood of being victims of violent crime?
That YOU'RE conflating criminal with men?
THAT'S why men are saying you're on your own because of that prejudice being core to your character.

[DishLady]

That just sounds sad. Those gals aren’t worth knowing.

[AviatorTom]

They don't need an excuse to dump him. 😎

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I think I understand that feeling, I've seen enough group dynamics, with mixed genders, to imagine your position. There is indeed a lot of things a man can say that would signal you, I mean your thoughts/views, as tacky, or stereotypically male. And I also believe this is a thing you may face more and more, over time, as feminist ideas become more and more prevalent, it's simply the zeitgeist, in my opinion.

Now it depends on how you view this zeitgeist, you may view it as undesirable or threatening, that's what you seem to say. Or you may view it as a something challenging your current views, something that could make you take a step back, switch sides, and think. Think about why one wrong thing you say can be enough, how and why this thing is perceived wrong, wrong enough to lead you to being discarded. Think about your environment, your role in this environment, your peers. There is truyl a lot to think about. If you're into that.

[Zack-Bann]

Someone once explained it to me this way:


Girls have a “buy in” level.
The more they know you and care about you the more they buy into you.


And if they do, you’ll be able to make many more mistakes


But if they don’t, then you’ll lose them at the first slip up


That’s why some guys beat their wives and use them as ashtrays and they the wives stay and defend them.
Because they bought in.
And the man (who’s a total asshole in this case) is taking advantage of that


When you talk to a woman it’s not enough to have surface level banter
You need to connect on a deeper level
Show her that being with you is meant to be
Women operate on an emotional compass that most men don’t have
But if you can read it you’ll know exactly why she does what she does

[Nikki1989]

The question reeks of immaturity, but the update is even worse. I have been married since 2009, and I know many other married couples. Some of whom have been married longer than me.

You seem like the kind of man that likes to blame everyone else but himself.

[Flower7]

It’s because she was unsure about the guy to begin with. Like she was on the fence about whether she wanted to be with him or end things, and then he said something that helped make her decision easier.

[TwoDecisions]

Lol, "women don't seem to have as much tolerance anymore"

You mean women had more tolerance when they had no choice than to stick to whatever the husband does? Oh you're funny.

I'm married, been so for 15 years, know plenty of married couples. It's not a woman's problem. It's a YOU problem.

[Sevenpointfive]

sometimes it's just an excuse to go hang out with her other boyfriend which she actually likes.

[msc545]

Whom she actually likes temporarily.

[Anonymous]

If a woman wants rid of you it doesn't matter what you say, guaranteed though she won't leave until after Christmas or until she's got s new man.

[mstbooblover]

Case sensitive as always in this kind of field, but certainly silly susceptibility on behalf of as well the girl as the man.

[genericname85]

no it's just that women are over it far sooner than you think and then saying a wrong thing is just the thing that borke the camels back. that's why it seems like that to you.

[AngryCarl2]

Only if they already made up their mind to dump you. It's an unpleasant conversation that girls procrastinate over.

[msc545]

She doesn't wait for him to say something wrong. She could do it at any time she wants to, and usually does it when another man who is taller, richer, or better looking comes along.

[slatyb]

No, they are not. More often they are accepting behavior that should be a deal-breaker. We frequently see questions on GAG "My boyfriend is insulting when..." or worse.

[DextroShade]

The more attracted to you she is, the more bed behavior she will tolerate. If she's looking for things to get mad about then it's already over, you just don't know it.

[Anonymous]

Most of them probably don't do that... but maybe some of them actually do.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

I'd rather say not a girl alone but social media, or a group of people together judge in much more shallow way

[Chthou95]

If they're not attracted to you, the more it's going to feel like you're walking on eggshells when around them

[beefcakebradybatson]

Depends on the doll.

[Abbycado]

Nope.

[Abbycado]

Per your update, then how to you explain my year and a half relationship?

[Asker]

@abbycado I don't know you, and I don't even know if you really are in a relationship.

[Abbycado]

Why would I lie? What would that bring to my life. Now I remember why I had you blocked. You just bitch and moan for your own deficiencies and blame it on everyone else.

[Nikki1989]

@Abbycado Bingo!

[In_Trance]

Nope

[Anonymous]

Exactly that's exactly how it is 💯

[Nikki1989]

Where do you morons come from?

[Opinion Owner]

@Nikki1989 your vagina and your mom's vagina