Social media / couples boundaries?

[Anonymous]

We don't follow each other on all social media platforms (only on 2 - Instagram & Facebook, not tiktok) to respect some level of privacy online, but I don't like some of the profiles he is associated with especially when it is mainly other girls on his follow list. I'm not totally insecure about every other female, unless they are quite attractive then I do sometimes have a moment of doubt. I'm anxious & have low self esteem which is getting better but it's not going to just disappear. He is really supportive of that & usually very understanding/ happy to reassure me when needed.

We have talked it through last year & reached an agreement about boundaries / types of accounts that would or wouldn't be ok for either of us to follow & he agreed that he would be more mindful about who he follows, same as I am!

but in the past 4 months or so I know he has started following a few more people online who only have a small following themselves - so I feel like he has broken the agreed boundary & isn't being fully respectful or considerate.

I genuinely don't care about models, influencers, gym profiles etc...

I'm bisexual, we are both in the lifestyle (swingers) who regularly enjoy having fun with other women together -

What I don't like is him adding normal random people (especially other girls even if they aren't really that attractive) with only 100 or so other followers, like who are these people & how do you know them, what level of interaction do you have? Annoying.

We use shared dating apps to find people to hang with so why does he need to add regular people online?

I don't think he's cheating at all & my level of trust has continued to grow massively over the last year. I know he loves me & values me but how do I overcome this issue with who he decides to follow online?

& How do I discuss it with him again, is there any point if he's not sticking to it or should I just accept that this is how it is & this issues will never actually be solved... Help!

[SueShe]

How can anyone that is so much into pornography as you 2 are (swingers) even cheat?

Isn't the fact that you fornicate left and right with others an act of cheating in itself? I honestly don't see where the problem lies since both of you are copulating with others.

Also, why be insecure if he is following other women on social media? He is probably only trying to find people that could be suitable for swinging with.

Unless I have a misunderstanding of the term "swinging" when associated with pornography, I do not see why you should feel insecure about the entire issue.

[Nikki1989]

Many people don't even use social media. I can't think of any that use it personally. Websites like this one are bad enough. You should consider dropping that nonsense.

[HighValue]

People that can't give up having smartphones shouldn't expect a good relationship, BUT most people are far too stupid and obsessed with their smartphones and value it more than anything else in life.

[In_Trance]

You're so insecure
You don't discuss it.
You need to make a decision. This is who he is. It's not going to change