Social media and your significant other?

[lavitadia]

So what is your opinion on social media and relationships? I am asking his question in the scenario that you and your significant other have been together for a year or more and live together and both are 20+ years old.

Here are the questions I am hoping to have answered:

Is it important you and your significant other be friends on instagram, Facebook, twitter, etc? If yes, why? If no, why?

Does social media cause too much drama in a relationship?

If your significant other doesn't want you on their page, is it ok to just let it roll of your shoulder?

Does social media define a relationship in any sense?

Ok, that's it.

[3gmoney3]

I try to keep my social media presence as impersonal as possible. To me, it's a way of staying connected with people, but it's not an emotional soapbox or a total window into my life. I think, because of that, social media doesn't have much of an effect on my relationship. My girlfriend and I are Facebook friends, and were long before we were dating. Had we not been already, I'm sure we would have ended up there, as it's both of our primary forms of social media and we share links with one another when we're at work and otherwise apart. We're not connected on Twitter (she doesn't really use it, I mainly use it to follow people and get information about/complain about my commute) and I don't use Instagram. This is all fine because our relationship is mostly in real life.

If she had a good reason for not wanting us to be friends on Facebook I would probably understand. My ex and I weren't Facebook friends because we were trying to keep our relationship out of the public eye of coworkers, and that was fine with both of us. We ultimately did connect on Facebook after that was no longer an issue, and then when we broke up it was awkward... but that's another question entirely.

Social media shouldn't cause drama in a relationship. Social media really shouldn't cause drama at all. If people get so worked up over someone else's posts or comments, it's time to get a hobby, preferably one that causes them to interact with people in a real life setting.

[BertMacklinFBI]

me personally, social media won't affect our real life. it just doesn't matter to me, so if she doesn't want to put up her relationship status then I won't care and I won't make her and I won't overthink her decision. I respond more to what she is doing in reality than on social media and that is good enough for me. it doesn't define a relationship at all to me.

[lavitadia]

I should take what you said into consideration and apply it to my current relationship.

[BertMacklinFBI]

:D ^-^!

[bigdreamer1]

Yes, Yes, NO, Somewhat... This is a huge issue with me and my boyfriend... I don't think you should be a presence on each others pages until things get serious. Go into it knowing that there are going to be stupid little things that will bother you... Maybe he liked a girls selfie and not yours just an example... Maybe you SO is the jealous type and a guy comments on your pictures. If they don't really use their pages to post and just browse I don't care if they don't acknowledge me, but when they post frequently and seem to keep you quiet it seems fishy. I think it can show how private the person you are with is, but it can also show how open they are as well.

[TheLastGirlScout]

Social media has absolutely no impact on my relationship whatsoever.

[lavitadia]

Really? .. How does it not bother you? I get like scared he is going to meet someone or start talking to someone. but then again my trust for him sucks.

[TheLastGirlScout]

Well there's your problem, it's a trust issue which means if it wasn't social media it would be something else bothering you. I'm extremely confident that my guy won't hook up with someone online, but he isn't online that much and he isn't one to get pulled into dramas. What is he doing that's making you feel this way?

[lavitadia]

I just am a jealous person so if he is in IG and passes a picture of a girl or likes a picture of a girl even if its like someone with 450k followers and someone who would never even talk to him I start to like freak out. I feel like he's trying to make me feel insecure. I know that might sound crazy but I am already insecure.

[TheLastGirlScout]

Well you need to address that otherwise I think it could become a big problem. A lot of trust issues come from self esteem issues, you need to be able to believe him when he says he loves you and that he doesn't want anyone else. If you can't accept that then you're always going to think that he's after someone else.

[lavitadia]

I know :( I have been to therapy and tried so many things to try to fix my self esteem but I just can't seem to allow myself to be confident.

[TheLastGirlScout]

you don't have to be confident, yes it would be wonderful if you could snap your fingers and you had no issues, but just believing him and accepting compliments without thinking they're false is key. Stop telling yourself that people only compliment you to be nice or for other ulterior motives.

[MisterLurker]

sometimes social media can ruin your relationship... there is always going to be that one person thats going to make a comment about your significant other that may make you jealous or mad... ehhh