Should I just give up rejecting my guy friend and just give him a chance? Why do some guys wait so long to get with the girl they chase?

[Anonymous]

Yesterday my guy friend asked if I liked chocolate and what kind of flowers do you like and if I’m busy next weekend since it’s Valentine’s Day (don’t like that holiday). I told him I’m busy but he kept asking what time am I busy and how about Sunday. I asked why and he said just wondering. He won’t give up. I was explaining this to my best friend. I told him I’m busy and my best friend is telling me, “Are you THIS sense? Don’t you see what he’s doing? He is getting your attention. He LIKES YOU. No…. HE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU! He wants you to be his girlfriend and his woman! Why do you think he’s been doing that for 18 years? He’s WAITED 18 years for you to notice his behavior and crush in him! He has it BAD for you! Why do you think he asked you if you liked chocolate or what flowers you like? He’s probably planning a surprise for you! Don’t always assume him saying “Just wondering” is nothing. It can be anything. He is HIGH OVER HEELS FOR YOU GIRL! WAKE UP!”

The problem is I’m not attracted to him, I don’t like him that way and I don’t wanna go out with him. My parents and siblings know he likes me. I told him that we are just friends for the past 18 years since he admitted that he likes me.
18 years? I would have moved in!
Guys I like never shown interest and I’m still single! Guys I’ve dated didn’t work, cheated on me and some I dumped. Should I just give in and give my guy friend a chance since he won’t give up?

We have known each other since we were 8 and now we’re 29. He admitted he started crushing on me in 6th grade at age 11. I was the tallest and biggest girl and the other girls were petite, or slim/skinny. He never cared for the hot, gorgeous or fit girls. Chases fat me. He was fat too.

we’re both tall and chubby.

[Hardon-Collider]

Just imagine. You give him so called "hope" and in the end still reject him again. Sounds like quite a ted bundy recipe.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/WslnRWrHUwU

If you want to "give him a chance" without worse potential consequences later, then only agree on being his sexless valentine like "long term friends". It would be less devastating to "friend zone" him again. ㅤ

[ohsheeT]

Is your friend right? You are single, right?
He knows this, so he's being nice. He might not be chasing you. He might just being nice i can want you to feel something on Valentine's day , and that's it

I mean, you would know more than we would know, but don't read into something. And allow yourself to be hurt or hurt yourself is what I should say by reading into something

I just\nSay that because of the way you answered , why does he wait so long tells. me. you like him to and have kinda been waiting for him to do something

[HollyK21]

You’ve been posting about this for over a year and dealing with him even longer. I don't know what’s wrong with you, you complain about this guy to anyone that’ll listen yet you won’t let him go. Like telling him what flowers and chocolates you like — you did not have to do that because you know he’s going to get those things for you but you’ve got no one else to do it so why not him right? You send so many mixed signals, give him hope, then act like you’re just way too disinterested. After all these years it’s a joke at this point.

[Asker]

How am I sending him mix signals? I would have been rude if I didn’t answer. I didn’t answer until two hours later

[HollyK21]

You’ve been doing it for years, as you stated yesterday you tell him year after year on valentines that you don’t want to be his date, yet you keep answering these sorts of questions. You keep bringing him around your father, family, friends. Keep letting him block any potential for dating someone new because he VERBALLY claims you as his girlfriend. He would not feel comfortable doing any aspect of that if you were properly shutting him down. You can’t tell me this has been going on for so long simply because you don’t want to be rude.

[Asker]

This is the first time he’s asked he if I like chocolate and flowers. He never did that in the past

[Asker]

I keep telling him I’m not his girlfriend

[HollyK21]

You said yourself that he asks you every year to be his valentine, so for what other reason would he be asking if you like chocolate and flowers with Valentine’s Day a week out? If he’s been your “friend” for this long then you know better than that, you know he is going to get you those things because he sees you as his girlfriend. If you genuinely don’t like him doing that then cut him off. Otherwise you send mixed signals by keeping him around each time he does something like this, which you simply cannot do with a man who won’t accept your rejection. He’s going to tell himself you’re just playing hard to get and eventually you’ll give him a chance. It actually seems to be working because this is not the first time you’ve made a post questioning whether or not you should give him a chance. If I can see that, your dad, your friends, then he can see it too and it’s giving him hope.

[HollyK21]

You don’t have to listen to me but I’m sure you’ve read what I’ve said and you should at least take it into consideration. This is such an unnecessarily dramatic situation that you can totally change by not talking to him anymore and you still choose to. So before you come back on this site crying and whining about how he won’t stop asking you out, as you always do; ask yourself why you keep talking to him. You are creating your own problem that you keep bothering us with, and you can change that situation but choose not to.

[Unycorn]

No you should not! Pressure is not a basic for love.

[Asker]

Thank you! People don’t understand

[Unycorn]

If you have to ask yourself this question then it is not the right man for you!

[Summeroflove]

You can try but if nothing still materializes don’t waste his time or yours.

[Anonymous]

Stop posting this bs. Bottom line you’re not doing him a favor by saying ok fine I’ll date you. That’s just sad. Giving into pure pressure. You’re making him think in this case persistence wins when it really doesn’t. You’re going to be hurting him even more by giving him this false impression that you do like him. But at the same time you have to realize yourself that the me. You want don’t want you. Most likely because of your weight, some to do w your height as well. So if you’re hoping to meet better men than your friend then you need to work on yourself physically. Saying someone has to be a mutual thing. Not cause you feel sorry for them or cause everyone is sayin g oh give him a chance he likes you. You probably don’t want to date him cause he’s chubby which is what you are but I’m sure you’re expecting someone who is in shape, tall, handsome.

[William7489]

well, I would say if this is really a good friend, I would keep that boundary up because you want to maintain the friendship. Most friendships don’t last if they become a relationship that ends badly. As for why guys wait, I can tell you as someone who’s been burned a lot it’s better to be cautious these days if you’re a guy.

[spartan55]

So you are going to go out with a guy you don't like because you feel like you should 'give up'?

How many times has he asked you out? Have you specifically and clearly rejected him?

[Asker]

I might as well since everyone is telling me that he has been chasing me for years but I really don’t want too. He asked me out like 100 times and I rejected him!

[spartan55]

Then he is not respecting you, at all. You don't owe him anything. He sounds like a fucking moron anyway.
by the way, you shouldn't stay friends with him either.

[HollyK21]

I’ve spoken with her in the past and she refuses to answer the most basic question once I ask it: why does she keep enabling this man and allowing him to do what he does? It’s been years of him verbally claiming her as his girlfriend, asking her to be his valentine and so on. She’s so “fed up” but refuses to set boundaries. If you ask me that sounds like a lot of being in denial about her own feelings.

[Asker]

@HollyK21 wow calling me out? I told him we’re just friends!

[WhitneySnow]

Only if you feel a romantic attraction toward him or you think he could grow on you

[Zionne]

depends on you liking and comfortability, thats what matters most

[In_Trance]

So you don't like the guy and you're going to go out with him anyways?
Wtf

[Asker]

Im not.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Yeah like the guy makes the choice.. We engage the chase and hope the catch is better.

[Asker]

Okay you men are so confusing?

[qwerty2469]

He deserves better. I hope he moves on. Also. You will regret going on a date with him.