Never had a girlfriend and very rarely dated. Should I give up on trying to find someone?

[Bkay123]

Growing up I was always shy. I did talk to girls in school but only as friends. I was never confident. I was out of shape. Then I got cancer in high school which I think made things worse. I’ve never been with a woman either. Should I give up on looking?

[slatyb]

How are you looking? What are you doing to meet someone? Who are you hoping to meet? Are you still out of shape? You can do something about that.

A question I always ask: How many women do you greet by name? Start engaging with the people you see regularly -- everyone, not just women you may want to date. This will improve your social skills, and some of them may know someone you should meet.

You might consider seeing a professional counselor who offers dating coaching (not some pick-up artist bullshit, a licensed counselor).

[Bkay123]

I’m very short. 5’2. I’m back on the dating site Bumble. I’m in better shape than I was. I exercise routinely at the gym and my job involves a lot of exercise too which helps.

I don’t talk to that much women in my day to day life. I work in the parks so I guess very little. But sometimes I think they will see me as creepy. I don’t know why. Usually I’m a quiet person but in my day to day life I’ll push myself to be more engaging.

I know this is a dumb question but are they easy to find?

[slatyb]

What? Women? They are half the world,. there are like four billion of them. They aren hard to find. What do you do in your day-to-day life? Go to the grocery store? Who checks you out? Do you see the same person on the regular? Do you go to a restaurant or bar regularly? Who serves you? Do you know their name? What do you with your free time? Are you out or home? Women won´t randomly appear in your bedroom.

[Bkay123]

I frequent this bagel place for lunch once a week. The same girl knows my order and starts it before I even walk in.

[slatyb]

What's her name? Do you greet her? "Hi Cassie, what's new?"

[Bkay123]

No but I always walk in with a big smile and greet her. I thought about asking her name but I’m not sure because it’s her place of work.

[Bkay123]

Oh and I always thank her and tell her how much I appreciate her going out of her way all the time. I always get the same thing and when she sees me she starts doing my order.

[zagor]

No, there are a lot of late bloomers. I had health issues in HS also, which made it hard to do "traditional" dating for a few years.

[Bkay123]

It’s nice to hear I’m wasn’t the only one. Hope you’re doing better. And it’s doesn’t help being shy either lol. There were girls I talked to in HS but that was it. I was never sure if they were interested and I didn’t want to lose the relationship we had. They were really nice. How is your dating life now?

[zagor]

Not so good but that is largely by choice.

[Bkay123]

I’m sorry to hear that. Unfortunately I’m trying to get my health back on track. Had a couple set backs.

[MontBlanc]

No , giving up won’t help, and experience comes with time.

Focus on:
• improving yourself and your confidence
• building social circles
• learning how to communicate and connect

The right person usually appears when you’re actively living your life, not when you’re waiting. Persistence, patience, and self growth matter more than how many relationships you’ve had.

[Bkay123]

I’ve only dated one girl but she had a lot of growing up to do.

[MontBlanc]

Makes sense, sometimes it’s more about timing and compatibility than the number of past relationships.

Focusing on growth and the right connections matters most.

[Nikki1989]

Why is it so many men on here are having too many heavy flow days lately?

[Bkay123]

The way society is these days I don’t want to be labeled as a creep.

[JHNS98]

I have a similar experience to yours. However, it's still possible to form deep connections with women. For example, I started chatting to a girl in the summer of 2024 and we ended up falling in love in the spring of '26. We're sadly not together anymore though, but that's besids the point here

Hang in there bro, you will find someone.

[Anonymous]

It comes if you don't expect.

I was told.

Maybe try not to search too hard and wait and see.

[Bkay123]

Yea that’s what I’ve heard.

[Chthou95]

Do what you feel you have to do. There is no right or wrong solution here

[Bkay123]

Thanks. I would like to find someone but it’s just tough.

[Chthou95]

a lot of other men go through the same thing you're experiencing. It happens

[Bkay123]

Yea I know

[Anonymous]

No. But it shouldn't be your first priority. Only give women the attention they've EARNED.

[Bkay123]

I only give attention to the ones that deserve it.

[Opinion Owner]

👍 way to be dude.

[Alex-Snow]

Not at all. Have tried on line dating

[Bkay123]

I’ve tried it. Even went back in again