How can women win in a marriage?

Question

Especially when a woman is pregnant or just had a child, the man cheats. Because he got bored and has ”needs”. It happens to so many women and they’re always the one to take the blame. Im so sick of it.
How am i, a young girl, supposted to look forward to this knowing there's a high chance my husband will just cheat on me because of his needs and i can't do anything about it.
And no, its not easy to just ”pick better” so many men who are good people and fathers still do this and show no sign of any red flags.

You men need to do better.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

First of all, this some theoretical tripe you're putting out there bc you're trapped at home and bored... If you're under 18 and thinking in childish terms... you shouldn't be married.
It's not called "winning" it's just marriage. You're supposed to "win" every day together... for-f-ing-ever. If you don't see it that way... then you shouldn't be married.
Why would the guy suddenly sex starved just bc you're pregnant, princess? Boredom doesn't just happen. Both parties have forgotten each other... and if that happens... then you shouldn't be married. Reading between the lines you're planning to give your guy blue balls while you're pregnant and for a year or so after, right?
Your vag needs up to three months to fully recuperate once you pop a kid out of you. If a guy can't keep it zipped for that long (1) he really shouldn't be making babies with anyone to begin with and (2) you shouldn't be married to that malaka.
You're perhaps too young to know that there are other ways to please your man during that time. Not during the first month of recovery when you're drained from giving birth and breastfeeding and everything is really killing you. He should be able to register that you need a month of pampering because he's supposed to love you... and if he doesn't... then you shouldn't be married.
If you're one of the princess types who is NEVER "in the mood" but ALWAYS expecting service with a smile... then you shouldn't be married. No one wants that.
DO I have to explain that the guy and the gal in a marriage BOTH need to feel protected and loved? Part of that IS sex. Deal with it. And if you can't... then you shouldn't be married.
Do I have to explain that guys get antsy when they don't have sex. Sigh... Most do... And if you don't want to deal with it... then you shouldn't be married.

Not every guy cheats, but not every guy is worth investing in. Similarly for women. A guy friend of mine once joked with his girl to feel his polo shirt. "Feel it, go ahead." She did, looking up at him sort of confused. He said, "You feel that? That's husband material." 40 years later she gets him a polo shirt with a card that says "100% husband material"... Is he bored? Not on your life. These two have been through all kinds of shit together.

But if you're going to obsess with the negative and keep a tally of who is winning or losing... then you shouldn't get married.

The End...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm 30 years old, telling you this from many years of experience:

It is much riskier for a woman to go with the wrong man than for a man to go with the wrong woman. Once you have kids with a shitty man, he would likely abandon you and the kids, not help you out with the kids, or pay a few dollars worth of child support a month. You, as a woman, will love your kids way more than him. He might abandon his kids but you won't.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

"You men need to do better"

The fact that you're already generalizing an entire gender over the acts of a minority is pretty telling. It's also a great way to never have to worry about getting cheated on, because nobody is ever going to want to marry a girl with that attitude. At least not any of the good ones.

Men don't all cheat, and are much less likely to do so if they marry a good woman, but maligning all of us before you've even tried precludes you from ever being in that category. Treating a potential spouse like the enemy, over something he might do, but hasn't, is a fantastic way to push him away, and ensure that he does cheat on you.

You either need to remain single for the rest of your life, or grow up. As a man who has never cheated in his life, I wouldn't want anything to do with someone like you.

dragoblack · Accepted Answer

Most men don't want to get married, because of the huge downside on both sides of being married. Objectively, marriage really serves no purpose aside from ritual, fluanting a bunch of money you really can't afford to spend, government legally putting shackles on 2 people to control their relationship with the judicial system, symbolic lables, while the judicial and government bullshite screws 1 or both when the contract is broken, ontop of the fees for doing so, making it a government cash grab and control. Plus if either dies, the debt goes to the other or the child, making the whole family screwed for generations.

Anonymous · Answer

A man cheating because he is bored or has needs is a failure of his character, not a failure of his wife’s appeal.

Winning in a marriage isn't about perfectly managing a man so he doesn't stray; it's about building a life where your security and self-worth aren't dependent on his whims

It is exhausting to feel like you have to be on guard, but remember: you are not a passive participant in your future. You have the right to demand a partner who values loyalty and partnership over temporary gratification.

Good luck.

Berethor · Answer

Cheating on a woman who is pregnant or just had a child is low, it legit for a woman to have a problem with keeping her man satisfied at that state so a man need to be understanding.

CherryLove007 · Answer

Your in a game. The game of LIFE Cheating exist in games!!! Resume accordingly. Kick a cheater to the curb if that is what is best for a woman and her child.

Hagar88 · Answer

Never found the need to cheat on my wife. Even when she's been pregnant we had lots of sex or I've had my sexual needs met.

Siggie2 · Answer

Well I don't think of marriage, I will probably stay single. But I know they're men who don't do this, but they're hard to find

LazerBean · Answer

By being high quality enough to attract a high quality man. I called him in do not cheat.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Finish your highschool, kid. The big, scary adult world is not for you.

firenine909 · Answer

You find someone who cares for you. Isn’t that the point of marriage?

Anonymous · Answer

Oh, you again. Just stay single then and quit complaining. Problem solved.

Anonymous · Answer

Well if you goal is to "win" then maybe marriage isn't for you.🤦‍♂️😆

jahaims · Answer

Choose a good partner

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Have brats, I mean, kids !!!

LC75LC71 · Answer

By getting him to say "I Do"

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Through divorce.

Alex-Snow · Answer

Good point. !!!

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