Is it a red flag if a guy asks when you were last intimate on a date?

[Anonymous]

Just Curious: Is it a red flag if a man asks you when you were last intimate on a meet up/ date?

This guy asked me and when I asked him he smirked and looked away.. kind of let out a very low chuckle… he never answered.

[Hawaiikai]

To me yeah. If you just met him or at least for a couple days or whatever it’s a total red flag for me

[Asker]

We had been talking for 2 weeks prior

[Hawaiikai]

Hmm not sure but for me 2 weeks is still a red flag but it could be either or. How do you feel about it?

[Asker]

He devalued me then ghosted me

[Hawaiikai]

Ya fuck him. Hey, lessons learned! Be happy it wasn’t a year or anything!

[Asker]

Yeah I just think he didn’t like me anymore

[Hawaiikai]

And if he didn’t screw him. Trust me I’ve been in the same boat and I am going through it now.

[Hawaiikai]

And I get it. It’s not a good feeling it really isn’t but there will become a time when you’re like whatever.

[slatyb]

Sounds like a red flag to me if you are looking for a long-term partner.

[Anonymous]

Yes. That is very personal for a first date.

[Daytoday79]

Yes, it is, sounds like he's jealous/insecure

[Asker]

but he told me he didn’t want to sleep with me because I’ll be “crazier” so if he doesn’t want to sleep or be with me I’m confused

[Daytoday79]

I think he definitely wants to sleep with you or he wouldn't ask

[Asker]

I’m so lost lol

[Daytoday79]

I think he wanted to know about the guy you were with because guys compare themselves to other guys (like performance, size, etc)

[Asker]

He ended up ghosting me bc I said I wanted to wait until marriage lol 😂… I thought he genuinely liked me

[Daytoday79]

That shows all he wanted was sex, he's not mature enough for a real relationship, he has growing up to do

[Asker]

I think he sleeps with trans women

[Daytoday79]

I don't think he sleeps with anyone, he just uses his hand, closest he'll ever get

[Asker]

lol 😂 what makes you say that?

[Daytoday79]

Because a guy who acts the way he does will never have a relationship with a woman and they'll be turned off by that behavior, but they have needs so they just masturbate instead

[Daytoday79]

A lot of guys end up just masturbating all the time and they get used to doing that

[Asker]

He watches a lot of trans porn

[Daytoday79]

Right, so he's used to masturbating to porn, he's not used to a real woman, a lot of guys are so used to pleasuring themselves by watching porn that they can't get an erection during real sex

[Asker]

Is he gay?

[Daytoday79]

I think he has an inferiority complex, like he doubts he has the ability to give pleasure to a woman sexually

[Asker]

Like small penis? He’s 36 for god sakes

[Daytoday79]

Well, a guy can have a small penis no matter what age, but also since he watches porn he probably can't get an erection with a woman in real life

[Asker]

So why does he want to sleep with me? But he did ghost me and never spoke to me again which really hurt me and caused me major depression because he made me feel safe before all of this… I just don’t understand why he would start to say mean things to me.. it hurt a lot

[Daytoday79]

It's not your fault, it's his problem. As soon as he found out you didn't want to have premarital sex he turned into a jerk, it's good you found out that he's an asshole before you got really involved with him, you deserve someone better

[Asker]

Yeah… 😔 thank you…one more question

Do you think he liked me? Why did he “does your dad know about your pics?”

[Daytoday79]

I don't think he liked you because if he did he wouldn't have been a jerk to you when he found out you wouldn't have sex with you... when a guy really likes a girl he cares about her feelings and doesn't do things that hurt her feelings... the whole "does your dad know..." was something he said because you didn't want to have sex with him right then

[Daytoday79]

Like I was friends with my ex for a while before we had sex

[Asker]

He’s such a predator… okay 😔

[Daytoday79]

Lots of guys are, like the ones who only want sex yeah, they won't be happy in the long run tho

[Asker]

Yeah it really stings… I feel like I’m not good enough.. men do this all the time

[Asker]

I feel like him and my trans cousin are talking on the low I don't know

[Daytoday79]

You're fine, don't worry, you'll find a good guy who likes you for who your are and the unique things that make you special as a person, who'll take the time to get to know you so you can both have a real connection, that's real love

[Daytoday79]

Just ignore them then, you deserve better

[Daytoday79]

Especially if he likes trans, then he's not even attracted to girls

[Asker]

Thank you… do you think they’ll fall in love?

[Daytoday79]

No, maybe they'll have some kind of sex, but no love, this guy doesn't seem like that's his priority

[Asker]

Is he gay? If he would talk to or sleep with a trans?

[Daytoday79]

If he sleeps with a tran then he's definitely not straight, he wouldn't make love like a straight guy

[Asker]

Is that different from watching trans porn? Is he still gay?

[Daytoday79]

It's very different I think, a lot of blowjobs and anal sex, playing with each others penis and balls

[Asker]

Oh okay… I outed him and embarrassed him out of anger because I felt incredibly hurt by how he treated me..

[Daytoday79]

Probably a lot of sperm all over the place yuk

[Asker]

Ew lol 😂

Thanks for talking to me ❤️

[Daytoday79]

That's totally understandable, you did the right thing, it's good that you stand up for yourself when someone treats you badly

[Daytoday79]

Very welcome, it was really nice to talk to you 🙂🥰

[Anonymous]

Did you answer?

[Asker]

Unfortunately lol

[Opinion Owner]

Was this a first date?

[Asker]

Yes it was

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, ain't no way I would answer that question on a first date and anyone that asks that question is showing me a major 🚩. I mean a person's insecurities are not your problem at that point. That's NOT normal question to ask a stranger, it's intrusive and rude.

[Asker]

That was just half of it… 😔

[Asker]

It was confusing because he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship.. then he said “I’m scared to sleep with you because you’ll be crazier “ “does your dad know you post those pics “

[zombiewoof]

Big and bright red

[Asker]

How so?

[zombiewoof]

Why would it be any of his business

[Asker]

That’s true… but exactly would he want to know? Especially if I could just lie

[zombiewoof]

You could, but why does he ask

[Asker]

Why would a guy want to even know?

[zombiewoof]

Some guys are nosey, do not like it when a girl has been with other guys