Is it a red flag if a guy asks you out 40mins after knowing you? why do men do that and get surprised when girls say no?

[catarecute]

[dynamicyandere]

If it’s for a date, not a red flag, that’s quite normal.


But it’s to be his girlfriend, that’s too fast.



As for dates, there are guys that asks girls out first and then get to know them better on the date.


I personally rather get to know a girl first for a while before asking them out on a date, because then I get to gauge how good our chemistry is and I have time to observe and see signs of mutual interest and also look out for any immediate red flags. Basically, I pre-screen.


That way, when we DO hangout, I already know we’re going to have a good time.


This is how you avoid going on a date with zero compatibility and also how you can minimize awkwardness, since you already know you click to a degree.


However, some guys just see a girl once and then ask them out immediately because they look attractive to them.


40 minutes, depending on how you were interacting, can already give you a lot of info about someone though — in terms of chemistry and vibe.


So if you rejected him, I’m assuming you weren’t really vibing in those 40 minutes and he didn’t really interest you enough to want to go on a date.


You were either not interested or still on the fence and he asked you out prematurely without sensing that the feelings were mutual.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I meet a woman at a wine tasting, I ask her out. It may have been ten minutes, which is nine more than when I just walk into a coffee shop and ask out the woman behind me in line. I'm not going to follow you around for the next hour and THEN ask you out, I've things to do. I'm not sure I understand how you want things to play out.

[catarecute]

no i dont mind if a guy follows me around to be friends. but not to ask me out.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Right. I don't have time to follow you around. I'm an adult I have things to do.

[DevikaButts95]

No, he thinks you're interesting and wants to get to know you. That's the whole point of a date?

[catarecute]

it wasn't a date. he wanted a relationship anyway i over this guy he is in the past.

[DevikaButts95]

Ohhh I guess that's very weird. Feel like it's just label confusion though and he poorly worded asking you out on a date and not like the biggest of deals, but might depend how he was talking. I would just take it that way and correct him and say on a date sure.

[adam6402]

He's only asking you out. The whole point of asking someone out is to get to know them. Most guys would agree that 40 minutes is way too long to wait before you ask someone out if you've just met them out in public.

How are we supposed to strike up 40 minutes of conversation in the middle of a girl's day just so we can get to the point where we can ask her if she wants to go out somewhere?

[DarkWinterNights]

I’ve seen guys approach complete strangers and ask them out successfully. You don’t have to know someone to ask them out. That’s kind of the point of a date

[catarecute]

ok well when i fell in love with someone after knowing them for a month and ask them out everyone though i was a complete freak. but if its a guy doing it its totaly normal?

[LiamJHayden]

I will ask girls out almost immediately. Yes, I strike out a lot but I also get about 10% to 15% who agree.

[catarecute]

that just freaks me out a bit.

[LiamJHayden]

I understand that, but I realize that if I do not I might never encounter her again. And I do not randomly approach every girl I see, but those who intrigue me. And when I say almost immediately I mean after engaging her in conversation.

[LiamJHayden]

Also, if by "ask out" you mean to be boyfriend and girlfriend, I do not do that. It is generally to go out to see if there is potential.

[catarecute]

thank you yea i think some men are weird. this guy seemed weird.

[dynamicyandere]

I think that’s a solid approach. As long as one is very present and observant, they can sense a lot things during an engaging conversation. And after that convo, they’ll have enough information to at least know whether or not they would like to continue that conversation.

[love_conquers_lust]

Maybe they’re using @AviatorTom advice, ask out first, number next

[Staximus]

It's normal if he asks you to go on a date with him but not if he's asking you to be his girlfriend. How is he supposed to get to know you if you don't want to hang out with him?

[LoverOfBooty23]

Can’t blame a guy for wanting to get to know you more by asking you out

[jahaims]

Not a red flag.

[gamerboy1x]

For here exp 😁