Is it a red flag if a guy sends you long messages before a first date?

[GenikaA293]

So I spoke to my therapist yesterday and told her I was going on a date with a guy soon and that we’d been exchanging long messages before the date. She looked concerned and said “are you sure you aren’t going to fall back into old patterns where you get lots of attention from a man and then it ends up being an abusive relationship”

since then I’ve had doubts and feel like because he’s sending me long messages he’s trying to ‘reel me in’ somehow and he has other intentions

is there anything wrong with a guy sending long “get to know you better” messages before you meet him for a date?

[Lockey_]

This sounds like kind of online dating, so assumed you never met this guy and you will meet in person first time on your "first date" you might want to give it a chance.
The reason is that when texting with him, you only learn how he can text but thats not what you are after. In the end you want to want to meet someone interesting and this is a totally different thing than a guy who is good at texting.
No matter what, you can only see if "this relation gets abusive" when you learned how you work together.

About "he’s trying to ‘reel me in’ somehow and he has other intentions":
Well, it's a first date, so the intention is clearly kind of sexual related, one way or the other. But i am sure it is not the intention to start an abusive relationship.

[DaveJord]

You're overthinking it an letting your insecurities take over.

Some guys, including myself, are not good texters. Would you rather him be a super sharp texter and take advantage of you with is superior texting prowess?

It more about the content then the length... and even then its so easy to over think a text.

[tatianamay]

Are you seriously kidding me right now?

I did not mean to come off rude, so i apologize for that. But you are just letting your insecurities hold you back. You CANNOT judge anyone from the way they text. Some are dry texters, whilst others are great at texting. Periodt. Go on a date with that guy. FORGET about your past abusive relationships. Think of this as a fresh new start. But if you do see any red flags, dump this guy. If not, just enjoy. Just dont overthink anything.

[Eric6666]

You are overthinking it. Do not presume someone has bad intentions to you without anything meaningful to back it up. Because then you will make up more signs to support your thesis and ruin the relationship.

Hope it makes sense.

[slatyb]

It seems a bit desperate to me. I would guess he doesn’t have much experience dating, and doesn’t have much of a life.

[Jamie05rhs]

How could there possibly be anything wrong with someone communicating with you?

[Anonymous]

find a new therapist she sounds like a piece of shit who's old and jealous. she doesn't even know the guy and she's talking this much shit find a new therapist to talk to

[PrettyPriya]

Is this deja vu or did I answer this?

[TheFlak38]

he is acting like a woman

[Wise4myage]

Yes, keep it short.