I met this guy on an online dating site. We have been texting and calling each other for eight months. When he first started messaging me, he would send really long messages, and was very intense very soon. He would tell me that he loved how we had so much in common, and that he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together (I was concerned at him reeling me in and assuming I’d be with him forever) he kept planning holidays, and saying I’d love to travel with you, and said I hope you are good at organising holidays.
Anyway, there was this one time he really made me angry, because we were having a conversation about what women wear, and he told me that it was a woman’s fault she got raped if she was wearing revealing clothing. I got really annoyed at this and ignored him and eventually confronted him about it, and he apologised and said he grew up in a house full of women so he feels protective towards women and doesn’t want them to dress provocatively.
Anyway, fast forward a few months, and I agreed that we would finally speak over the phone to break the ice. Something I have noticed during our conversation is that he will subtly bring in a sexual topic into the conversation and it really makes my skin crawl, whether it’s about women having breast implants, or the fact that in a relationship a man has to be sexually interested in the woman. He also keeps bringing up sexual tv shows like naked attraction, and how to look good naked, telling me how ridiculous he thinks they are. I usually have to change the topic to something more mainstream.
Another thing I’ve noticed is when I’m on the phone to him, I can hear him typing on his computer, and I don’t think he’s prioritising talking to me. He also told me something strange that his friend gave him access to websites on ‘the dark web’ and he had seen some illegal websites, which raised alarm bells in my head.
should I be concerned about this? Are these red flags?
should I stop communicating with him?
Anyway, there was this one time he really made me angry, because we were having a conversation about what women wear, and he told me that it was a woman’s fault she got raped if she was wearing revealing clothing. I got really annoyed at this and ignored him and eventually confronted him about it, and he apologised and said he grew up in a house full of women so he feels protective towards women and doesn’t want them to dress provocatively.
Anyway, fast forward a few months, and I agreed that we would finally speak over the phone to break the ice. Something I have noticed during our conversation is that he will subtly bring in a sexual topic into the conversation and it really makes my skin crawl, whether it’s about women having breast implants, or the fact that in a relationship a man has to be sexually interested in the woman. He also keeps bringing up sexual tv shows like naked attraction, and how to look good naked, telling me how ridiculous he thinks they are. I usually have to change the topic to something more mainstream.
Another thing I’ve noticed is when I’m on the phone to him, I can hear him typing on his computer, and I don’t think he’s prioritising talking to me. He also told me something strange that his friend gave him access to websites on ‘the dark web’ and he had seen some illegal websites, which raised alarm bells in my head.
should I be concerned about this? Are these red flags?
should I stop communicating with him?
