I matched with a guy on a dating app (one of those apps that are known to have better quality people for long-term relationships). We sent messages for a little bit. He said we could talk more over texting. I said I'd take his phone number.
He didn't tell me his number, and seemed to have ignored what I asked. He said sure he would text me and asked for my number. I said I think it's a gentlemen gesture when a man gives me his number, and I find it attractive when a guy asks me to text him.
This guy still wouldn't give me his number and messaged back asking for mine. At this point I don't even care about getting to know him anymore. It's more like we're just arguing about who should give phone number first.
He said something about being chivalry. I think if he was chivalry he wouldn't have made a woman uncomfortable and would've given me his number.
What do you think? Is that a red flag, or is it legit that gentlemen are supposed to ask women for phone number, and women are supposed to give numbers first?
I've talked to a guy before who said that women seemed to get offended if he didn't ask for their phone numbers.
He didn't tell me his number, and seemed to have ignored what I asked. He said sure he would text me and asked for my number. I said I think it's a gentlemen gesture when a man gives me his number, and I find it attractive when a guy asks me to text him.
This guy still wouldn't give me his number and messaged back asking for mine. At this point I don't even care about getting to know him anymore. It's more like we're just arguing about who should give phone number first.
He said something about being chivalry. I think if he was chivalry he wouldn't have made a woman uncomfortable and would've given me his number.
What do you think? Is that a red flag, or is it legit that gentlemen are supposed to ask women for phone number, and women are supposed to give numbers first?
I've talked to a guy before who said that women seemed to get offended if he didn't ask for their phone numbers.
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Yeah, like the other user here said, he sounds insecure. I'm assuming he wanted your number to ensure he could still contact you and you not ghost him.
But him being pushy goes make me a tad nervous.
That situation does seem kind of off to me. A few things stand out as potential red flags:
- If he was really interested in getting to know you better, he wouldn't have objected so much to giving his number first. That's a small thing to do to make a girl comfortable.
- Pushing for your number after you already said you preferred him giving his first isn't respecting your boundary. Doesn't seem very gentlemanly.
- Saying it's about "chivalry" is questionable - he's not being chivalrous by ignoring your stated preference. Seems like an excuse.
- You had a good instinct that persisting made you uncomfortable. Your comfort should matter to him.
My advice would be don't give your number to a guy who won't respect such a small request. A good dude will understand making a girl feel safe comes first, especially just meeting online. Seems like this could be love-bombing or just not caring how his actions affect you. I'd say trust your gut - better guys won't play games like this. Hope this helps give some perspective, let me know if any other questions!
Yeah. He should give you some space. He sounds insecure.