Why would a man ask me when is the last time I was intimate …. on our first meet up?

[Anonymous]

Is that a red flag

[OlderAndWiser]

Red flag depends on how the conversation was flowing and whether he had some reason to believe that this would be okay to ask you. I would never ask a girl that question ever, unless I thought she wanted to talk about that.

Perhaps he asked because he is concerned about you being promiscuous and he wants a serious relationship, or maybe he is looking for casual sex and is trying to gauge how amenable you are to that.

[Anonymous]

He wanted to stop talking but you kept it going. That was your mistake. I'd estimate that about 99% of men on dating sites are only looking for sex, hookups or friends with benefits. Women were always the gatekeepers of sex but as soon as they started engaging in casual sex, that changed everything. Men took advantage of the changes as opportunists. This is to be expected in a fallen world. In other words, if you are not a true woman of God, seeking a true man of God, then your chances of finding a decent man are near zero.

[Asker]

But he was looking for something serious and I wanted to give it a try.

[Asker]

I never wanted sex… he knew that…

[Luméa]

Yes, asking about your intimate history on the first meet-up is red flag

[electromagnetic]

He’s tryna spray your walls with his white frosting.

[CindyRuns]

It's none of his business... a definite red flag in my book !!!

[Jmmmfi4]

DEFINITELY NOT A GOOD SIGN

[Gent207-2]

Yes huge red flag

[Asker]

Yeah, cuz he ghosted me after…. Then I confronted him… he called me and said there was no reason to really talk everyday if sex want going to eventually happen…

That broke my heart … not going to lie… we had an intense talking stage…

[mandyfire98]

Big time red flag. Insecurity.

[Asker]

How is it a red flag? Just curious

[mandyfire98]

Because it shows lack of privacy first of all. That's none of his business. Especially on a first date. It also shows the level of insecurity of him because he's fixated on you having been with another man before. Why does he care? It's not like you were intimate with anyone right before the date. Gives off vibes of insecurity and him being one of these guys that wants their virgin.

It also shows he's only concerned with sex and sex alone. All of these are huge red flags.

[Asker]

Yeah I wish I knew that bc he ended up emotionally hurting me bad…

We had an intense talking stage and I had my guard up… he made me feel emotionally safe …. And I told him in the beginning that I only wanted to be a placeholder NO SEX until he finds some else… he didn’t want that…. and he even wanted to stop talking… but I said I’ll be willing to take things slow..

Then after our date I didn’t hear from him… I sent 3 messages… I sent one more yesterday and he called me and said there’s no point in me investing my time if sex isn’t going to eventually happen

[mandyfire98]

If you aren't sexually compatible you aren't sexually compatible. That makes sense but to ask when your exact last intimate encounter was is very creepy and gross. He could've at least said something like "what are your views on sex in a relationship? Would you consider sex important in the relationship? "

Something like that. Not, when did you have sex last?

Have people become this socially awkward?

[Asker]

I’m saying for him to ghost me like that without communicating just means he wanted sex… he didn’t really want a relationship …. But he also said he was willing to see where things go and he wants things to happen organically…. So no I’m not sure if a relationship was really the end goal here….

I just feel hurt… I want to have sex with him but I feel he has an exit plan… no true relationship was going to probably happen. I’m a virgin… I want to do it with someone who loves and cares about me.

[mandyfire98]

Understandable. I think you dodged a bullet honestly