Girls, do modern dating expectations make it harder for shy guys, and why?

[Anonymous]

[HollyK21]

You can’t blame women for your own personal shortcomings. If you’re a shy dude, how is that anyone else’s problem but yours?

[Anonymous]

Probably. Because they are passive and expect women to be the ones to seduce and initiate things, which they won’t. That’s nothing new or ”modern”. Men have always had to be the confident, asking the woman out, taking the lead, courting her. If anything it’s easier for shy men nowadays because gender roles aren’t as strict nowadays and the bar for men is in hell.

[Asker]

Do you reckon the bar for Women is in heaven then?

[LazerBean]

If anything, modern dating expectations make it easier for shy/low effort guys. More girls are willing to take the lead now. In the past, men were expected to lead and put in effort.

[Agape93]

Yeah because shy guys refuse to do anything resembling effort

[Asker]

So all Shy Guys are lazy?

[Agape93]

Not lazy, but too cowardly to do anything.

[Asker]

If someone said women with social anxiety or confidence issues were ‘cowardly’ because they don’t approach men, most people would immediately call that sexist and insensitive. But when the exact same insult is directed at shy men, suddenly it’s treated like a fair criticism. That’s the double standard. Shaming people for personality traits like shyness isn’t acceptable just because the target is male.

[Agape93]

And how is that at all relevant to what I said?

[Asker]

It's relevant because you called shy men ‘cowardly’ for struggling to approach. That’s literally shaming someone for a personality trait like shyness or social anxiety. If someone said women with anxiety or confidence issues were ‘cowardly’ for not approaching men, people would immediately call it insensitive or sexist. The reason it’s relevant is because it shows the double standard: the exact same insult is unacceptable toward women but somehow acceptable toward shy men.

[Agape93]

I don't give a fuck what other people say. That isn't relevant here. This is about what I said, not them. So again, how is what THEY do, relevant to what I said?

[Anonymous]

Because shy guys just have an expectation that they are owed a date and don't have to overcome their shyness.

[Asker]

Other than being more successful why do they have to overcome their shyness?