Is being shy a disadvantage when it comes to dating?

[Emma_240302]

Say a girl is shy, and don’t really talk VS an outgoing girl, will it be a disadvantage?

[Valkyriecain]

I'm so shy whenever I meet people. Like I can have a conversation with people (as long as they instigate it) but I just find it so hard. It definitely feels a lot harder to do things being shy than it would be if I were extroverted. But I have heard that a shy girl is cute, but I don't see how lol.

[somecallmedlock]

To me a shy girl is cute with seeing how hard she is trying to fit in... like if someone super shy is coming over and tries to talk to me I feel happy inside because they are making an effort even though they feel super uncomfortable... that's me anyways.

[somecallmedlock]

With super outgoing girls it's hard to tell if she actually wants to spend time with you or is waiting for something better

[Valkyriecain]

That makes sense, but I don't see how people can just start that conversation. Legit gives me the fear, but I suppose that's something I need to fix.

[somecallmedlock]

Yeah... I'm super shy to and like some of my friends like going to the bar or to a party... honestly hate that but it's what you have to do sometimes 🙂

[Valkyriecain]

At least at a bar or party there's alcohol. Alcohol literally zaps away my shyness. My friends will tell me the next day how I was talking to everyone and my sober shy self just dies. I need a happy middle 😂

[somecallmedlock]

Not me... I'm just turn stupid 😂... I need to find a middle too

[SexyBiMan]

Alcohol is called liquid courage for a reason. I got into a five year relationship thanks to being buzzed! 😁 But i wouldn't recommend it as a regular method.

[LisaLisa89]

It might mean you have fewer dates, but it is perfectly normal to be shy. If the girl is shy she needs to work out why - and when the right guy comes along she can be less shy.

[Arbus]

For girls it is less a disadvantage because boys are expected to approach girls and not vice versa. Generally speaking, ouotgoing people have an easier time making friends and starting relationships, becuase they appear more confident and that's an attractive trait for any gender.

[Bluewave64]

Yes, you will meet and seduce less men. Giving you a smaller dating pool. I say use the few friend should have to make more friends and keep growing until you have meet someone special

[ChronicThinker]

Obviously having issues talking to people is a disadvantage.

[Darknut]

Yeah but if a shy guy speaks, its usually important with a lot of weight in it. Right

[ChronicThinker]

@Darknut Not really. No more weight than anyone else.

[IHateBeingaMan]

for men more than women that's for sure, and I hate it when people disagree with that, I read this response somewhere and it really pissed me off, even though he means well, reason why it pissed me off, is because I know for a fact, that men are expected to accept, take responsibility for their lives far more than women are, here it is:

“that’s a huge generalization to make. society certainly has
different expectations for men vs. women, but there’s no point in
worrying about who it’s “worse” for. A better mindset is to take
responsibility for every part of your own life.”

[val_grae]

Yes, you should learn to be less shy. Having charisma is a great thing, it raises your status in society which will physically make you feel great, that's a fact. Shyness is something you should start to leave behind you, especially at your age. I know people my age, not that much older obviously, and their shyness makes their lives a lot more difficult. The longer you let it go on he harder it is to break out of.

[pitzi]

It is for me because everytime a guy approaches me I find it super hard to keep up with the conversation due to being shy... so I lose a lot of opportunities with guys 😕😕😕

[depresn]

If girl is doing that I think its disadvantage if she is not showing any interest, so if guy is too pushy it would be out of her comfort zone. As for guys its more of disadvantage so I don't know solution just need to work on that so they dont "sweat" and if girl is shy also then he needs to keep up the conversation or it will be awkward af

[AllThatSweetJazz]

Yes, but moreso for guys. As a guys it not only means you engage less often but it's also unattractive, it's a very slippery slope.

For girls, shy is fine, often cute. But at the same time it also means you don't approach people and engage with them as often. Guys are still forced into approaching anyway so it's not that much of a downside, it's just that the outgoing girls are going to get there first.

[Idontgetitatall]

Initially it's not a disadvantage, but at some point, if a girl doesn't open up herself, guys will be displeased and it's gonna have negative effect.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Oh yea I'm shy and I've never dated any girl and its extremly hard for me to ask one out.
I tried to ask shy girls too but they are most probable ones that say no or ignore. And keeping a convo going is hard and a shy girl never makes tge first move

[MiroHeartech]

Not at all. I like it better. Nothing wrong in a girl that knows what what she wants, its kinda hot sometimes. But being shy means that she has a personality that few know, and being one of them its kinda rewarding I think. Slowly gaining that trust its nice and more so when you become the one that really knows that girl the most. At that point you have someone to protect. Feels like an oath, a pledge. Its a work that you must and want to do it.

[maiave]

Of course. I have three SMOKING girl friends who are shy.. all all-virgins because they’re too shy to walk up to people or too awkward to maintain a conversation with a stranger or someone they like...

[vaibhav29]

are you shy?

[DidiXDidi]

For myself, it really is a turnoff if a girl is shy. I'd much rather get with somebody who's charismatic and upfront about what they want than somebody who's too timid to even look me in the eyes while they talk.

[KolonKby]

I would say no. I can understand a shy girl easier than an outgoing one, as I'm shy myself.

[legendary_gladiator]

I don't know about girls but being a shy guy is definitely a disadvantage in dating. I have experienced that.

[DatGuy2018]

Absolutely not. I think it is super cute, fun and makes character so I'd definitely almost say it's a must to have :)

[Gino180]

I think I’m pretty shy and I find it super intimidating talking to tall guys but I’m okay with chatting with girls or guys around my height lol but it will probably be a disadvantage I assume?

[rocksteady320]

Yes for me cause I like to do sexual stuff I'm happy with my size and I like a girl to just be able to comfortably walk around naked or fuck me in public

[000_000]

Only with step 1
Meeting people

Other than that things are normal

[Ilvmycountryman]

No not it is all good I'm shy no doubt like severally shy and my boyfriend loves it..
a lot of guys love shy girls.

[markscott]

Being shy makes it more difficult to get together with people, including dating.

[Burgerboy21]

Not necessarily. You'll still likely be approached.
But if you're a shy male, you better come out of your shell or you're pretty much hopeless.

[Kablooy]

For men, it is. A girl wants the man to approach and start a conversation. For women, it doesn't really matter. They just got to sit back and look pretty.

[Loser94]

In a way being shy is a disadvantage cause most guys like to see a girl be out going and fun. In my case im more into shy girls cause im a shy guy myself. I think the out going fun girls are kinda begging for attention lol

[Anonymous]

Only if it is to the point where you require the guy to do way to much work while he is trying to get to know you.
there is shy and there is she does just not want to open up.

[CT_CD]

Not if you're a girl but being shy is definitely a disadvantage if you're a guy

[Lance1965]

Being shy is an disadvantage in all aspects of life.

[dhand07]

Its not because in any case guy will have to approach the girl whether she is shy or outgoing. Yeah its a bit easy for outgoing girls but its just because they have more opportunities to interact with guys.

[RandomBoneratwork]

It can be a disadvantage if the guy you're dating is not into shy girls but still than you can get away with it pretty easy.

[tiny_creation15]

Im not shy but sometimes I just don't feel like socializing.

[janna_jcb]

Yes, I have a hard time connecting with new people because I’m shy

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Yes. Outgoing personality types attract people to talk to them, while shy people give off a vibe that they don't want to be bothered.

[skeetskeetskeet]

Well it depends how shy you mean... does she avoid going in crowds and dress like a dude then yeah

[Anonymous]

For a girl no. Being shy as a guy ruins your dating life. Cause girls don't approach guys usually.

[Anonymous]

I can be shy at times, but i still tend to get many dates because I choose to stand out in others ways. It can be if you don’t stand out personality wise.

[Reddwolf]

Never when a guy can be patient and take his time to talk to her she'll come around

[MattIsHere99]

Shy girls have it easy, if you're a shy guy then I'll pray for you.

[xxcypherxx]

this picture gives wrong vibe, it is not being shy it is flirty.
And, no, it is an advantage

[KiwiGirlcholatelover]

Why do you think so?

[xxcypherxx]

@KiwiGirlcholatelover because she is not shy

[KiwiGirlcholatelover]

Sorry, I meant why do you think being shy is an advantage?

[xxcypherxx]

@KiwiGirlcholatelover I find it girly and approachable

[KiwiGirlcholatelover]

Outgoing girls can still be girly and some shy girls are not girly at all, I think this nothing you can generally say.
Thanks for answering though :)

[xxcypherxx]

You are welcome :)

I like this girl in my workplace very much. She is quite shy. It gives me chills when she talks with me. To be honest I hate it... it makes me to feel shy as well

[KiwiGirlcholatelover]

Yeah, me too.
I think it is waay harder to talk to shy people, than with outgoing people. You just kind of get those awkward silences where nobody knows what to say, whereas an outgoing person doesn't care whether she comes off as awkward and just keeps the conversation going... Somehow

[xxcypherxx]

Worse when have a crush on them.

Hey how can I ask for her number? I can't talk to girls, i am shy too. FYI, we are colleagues

[KiwiGirlcholatelover]

I don't develop a crush very easily, I definitely have to have talked to them a few times and I have to be able to hold a decent conversation with them. It just has to click for me, so I don't really have issues in talking to my crush.

I don't really know how to ask for a number, I never had to...
You could see on Reddit r/seduction they post heaps of crap there but also sometimes some reliable stuff. Just today I saw a post about someone retelling a conversation which went along the lines of
Are you single
Yes
Do you think I am attractive
Um yes
Can I have your number!
Yeah, chuckles
It is indeed preetty straightforward, but at least she has enough opportunities to declare that she is not interested and your intentions are made clear. You could think about that :)

[KiwiGirlcholatelover]

Woow that is long lol

[xxcypherxx]

Thank you very much. I don't need to ask for comprehensive. Lol

Do girls like it when guys are straightforward? I am afraid she will get mad at me. I know she is single.

[KiwiGirlcholatelover]

Think every girl has it's own personal preference. I like to know what the person's intentions are, because I tend to see new people as friends rather than romantic partners.
As long as you stay respectful and don't come off as rude being straightforward is perfectly fine to me

[KiwiGirlcholatelover]

Why would she get mad, though}?

[xxcypherxx]

I don't know. Maybe, it is just fear of rejection. I feel i would never be able to work with her if I got rejected

[KiwiGirlcholatelover]

Do you work closely with her?
You can remain friends though

[xxcypherxx]

Yes, she works in HR. And I am not friend of her I am trying to express her that like her, since two months. I still don't have courage to do that. But still it is fun having a crush. I love the butterfly feeling lol

[KiwiGirlcholatelover]

You can still work professionally if she rejects you, right...
Why do you not have the courage? She can only say no.

[xxcypherxx]

I already have feelings for her. If she said no, my poor heart would kill me lol

[xxcypherxx]

by the way, i have really bad experience with a girl whom i loved

[KiwiGirlcholatelover]

Do what you prefer...
I am sorry to hear that! <3

[xxcypherxx]

I hope this girl would help me to get over with the past. :)

Well, I prefer to talk to her. Still don't have courage to do so.

[Smegskull]

Probably, few people are willing to take the risk and make a move these days.

[dreamygirl9426]

For experience, yes. 😐

[mostrong]

What attract me the most in a female is the shy attitude she do when i say or do something she wasn't expecting

[johnmichaei]

I'm a little South American friend

[keirsey]

Being shy is not a disadvantage I think it's cute but don't let you be so shy that you don't talk to anyone

[Anonymous]

If you're a girl you can get away with it to an extent. If you're a guy you're completely screwed.

[johnmichaei]

That shyness can be sexy and hot

[johnmichaei]

Baby you still ain't said nothing

[PrincessPie]

It doesn't help.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Nope i like girls who are shy.

[lowbrow]

Yes. How u gonna talk to them if u don't talk

[analyzingall]

Not necessarily at all. Just depends.

[jordidp]

I rather have shy girls

[EmiyaUBW]

Yes trust me i would know*sigh*

[Slim57]

Not for women just for men

[bluewolf13]

It's a good thing cause my exgirl was kinda shy

[Oasha]

Clearly.

[Guanfei]

I find shyness cute.

[vivieriliana]

no its not

[gocool_raj]

It's cute

[monii]

No its not