Girls, Why are Shy Nice Guys more likely to be Single than Confident Jerks are?

[Anonymous]

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Because they think being nice is the best thing they can be. When being nice is the bare minimum and it isn't a substitute for a personality.

[Asker]

So they would rather date a Jerk then.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

No, they'd rather date someone who recognizes being nice is literally the bare minimum, and who instead shows genuine love, interest, and puts in effort.

Nice isn't a very high bar. It's kind of a minimum requirement.

[Asker]

So that just ends up being the Confident Jerk more than the Nice Guy or the Shy Guy.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Sure, if you want to make those labels a thing. But personally I've never met someone who's exclusively one of those or the other.

I dated two former nice guys. We all had our problems, and we all had shy days and jerk days.

Everyone's human. We're... Complicated and weird.

[Asker]

I do understand why Girls like the Confident Guys, I just don't understand why Shy Guys and/or Nice Guys are more likely to get ignored by most Women.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Because who would choose the one who can barely manage bare minimum, when there are healthier, better, and more interesting options?

Nice Guys and Shy Guys generally haven't spent enough time learning about themselves to have a healthy outlook on life, haven't developed themselves past however they graduated high school, and haven't explored their interests.

Or if they have, they haven't gained the confidence that comes with those experiences - and that puts them at a disadvantage relative to others who've matured at a faster rate.

But if the Nice/Shy Guy is happy how he is, and doesn't mind the risk of being single forever, there's no reason he needs to change.

Not everyone dates. Not everyone's into romance or sex. It's okay to be you, just don't hurt anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Less passion?