If she earns way more than me, can I still be the provider or am I just tricking?

[Anonymous]

So long story short I started talking to this girl recently and she is pretty big online and makes a lot of money from her social media.

Some way somehow I manger to get to the point where me and her are talking and possibly might become more. Something she had mentioned was wanting a man that was masculine and the things that come with that and she had also mentioned a man that can provide for her as well.

Not to say that I don’t make a decent amount of money for my age but age makes what I’m assuming is more than me by a decent margin based off her posts.

I've obviously never been ima position like this and I’m assuming most guys haven’t either but when the girl makes more money then you by a decent amount where does the line stand between tricking and providing?

This girl is also foreign and very beautiful I think that is also important to mention, cause I feel like a lot of guys get scanned by woman over seas.

That with the fact that she is very likely making more than me what do I do if she does ask me for money for something? Is it just a scam or am I being stingy and cheap.

And for context I’ve FaceTimed this girl and we have been talking for a few days now I’m also cool with her friend who is the one who connected me to her and from our texts she does seem genuine. She hadn’t asked me for any money but her wanting a provider made me think of this question up.

[HollyK21]

I feel like I remember chatting with you a while back, if so then it’s been a good length of time with you following and trying to engage with her somehow and someway. Question — are the zero finances involved? Like do you send her any form of money? Even virtual gifts that amount to real money?

[HollyK21]

**are there

[Asker]

No we only just started talking maybe a few days ago but she hasn’t asked me for anything as of right now.

[HollyK21]

Got it. In that case, I’d really just say to be careful because often times when it sounds too good to be true, it usually is. I don’t say that to discourage you whatsoever, I’m just looking at the situation and it seems a bit sketchy. You’ve got this gorgeous woman overseas, who’s also really popular online and somehow, she’s chosen to speak with this guy who, compared to someone more in her tax bracket, seemingly doesn’t have a lot to offer. She’s made mention of wanting to be taken care of, it’s just all kinda giving off 90-day fiancé. I’m not sure how close you are with the friend who set you two up, but if she’s got a similar situation going on then they could definitely be in cahoots. Since this is still very new, just try not to get swept up and use your good judgment.

[HollyK21]

Hopefully you don’t take offense to what I’m trying to say, and at least give it some thought without seeing my take as like a personal attack or derogatory.

[Asker]

Definitely appreciate the words of wisdom certainly moving either way caution but also don’t want to overthink things and miss out on an opportunity with someone.

As for the friend we have been cool for about a year now and to be FRANK initially I will be honest the friend just wanted cash out of me and actually had given me A number that her friend initially texted me from. But that initial interaction the girl I liked out the gate tried to get money out of me for her friend and truthfully did not seem like she was interested in me at all. Slow to reply and didn’t text me back much if at all sometimes had me waiting days or a week or weeks to hear back if at all.

Since then tho the friend has stopped asking me for money after basically got mad and called her out for it. And the few times she has asked since then were for small things and were very far and few between if at all but the interactions just got to a point where I feel it’s gotten a lot more genuine.

[Asker]

Which brings back up to the recent interaction with the girl that I like she actually texted me sorta out the blue from a new number ( she has like three numbers because of the social media thing )

Biggest highlights this time around is the interest she genuinely seems interested in talking to me and has a lot to say especially compared to before. Hasn’t asked me for any money and while she does still take a while to get back to me which can vary she does seem to make it a point to actually get back to me and when she does it doesn’t feel like she’s just doing it to do it.

[Asker]

For me when it comes to dating a big thing is the vibe you give off you can kinda tell when someone is interested and disinterested pretty easily and I’ve been learning to listen to my gut a lot more and honestly things feel way different then they did previously to me. And to be fair this took basically a year of patience and trust building to get to this point cause the friend is who vouched for me but I’m still feeling things out

[HollyK21]

So I’m genuinely not trying to share a far-fetched opinion when I say this, but I feel like red flags are going up all over the place. This friend of yours seems to be involved with other women who are trying to swindle certain increments of money out of men. You’ve got to think, some countries are incredibly poor, and what’s small amounts of money sent in your mind could equate to quite a bit more over there. Let’s say they aren’t in a poor country, and these women just enjoy certain lifestyles without putting in work and expecting men to eventually fund it to some extent. For example, you may not be funding the whole apartment but you could totally contribute to it. You aren’t funding the whole shopping spree but you certainly got a bag or an outfit. Some of these women live a certain lifestyle that you aren’t privy to on the other side of the screen, in another country at that. I get how things could seem different, like the conversation is more interactive and interesting, but she could’ve easily been told by the friend to not press about money, in the way she did, and it pissed you off. She’s trying to set her up for a good chance, in my opinion.

[HollyK21]

I am absolutely privy to being wrong, I don’t mind being inaccurate, in fact I’d prefer that, because I love when romantic connections work out for people. I just don’t think I’m of help at all if I put on blinders when suspicious things are going on. Your situation truly feels a little off and like these women are looking for financial gain, potentially green cards, who knows.

[Asker]

Well I don’t think it’s fair to say that I’ve got blinders on when I’m trying to look at every perspective realistically dating any woman is going to come with some of Finacial out put from the man that’s a given and especially if the woman lives a more lavish lifestyle if I’m going to be the provider in the relationship at any point the thing that you listed are things I’m going to have to pay for but just as you say I’ve got blinders on I could say the same thing for someone looking from the outside in I tend to see more skepticism and negative Nancy’s in these situations more often the people who would be rooting I feel like even if I started to date her and things turned out to be fine a lot of people would still have a lot to say so I’ve decided to move forwards with my own judgment and trust my gut cause at the end of the day my relationship is my relationship and if I find she is in it for the money then I’ll move on and find someone who isn’t no big deal.

[HollyK21]

Sorry, I probably should’ve been clearer. I wasn’t saying you have blinders on at all, I wasn’t trying to be suggestive or “hint to” you having them on. I’m very specifically talking about myself, and if I were to put blinders on in order to give advice that would be more palatable. If ultimately you decide to move forward with this then of course I wish you well, I hope this works in your favor.

[HollyK21]

Hence my saying “I just don’t think I’m of help at all if I put on blinders when suspicious things are going on”.

[Staximus]

She probably doesn't have any money and is trying to get you to pay for her bullshit lifestyle. Don't be a sucker. If this girl doesn't live near you then it's 100% bullshit

[Ariesman81]

It's manipulation my guy.