If a guy pursues me on Instagram for years with no response, is it real interest?

[Iggy200]

He had been trying to get to know me since 2019. We are both 36. We both are fit and attractive. To me it’s hard to believe someone would pursue me for that long specially since I paid him no attention.

[SueShe]

Define what you mean by "pursue"

Does he harass you sexually or verbally through social media? Does he stalk you or does he send you inappropriate visuals and texts?

If so, then you have to block him to avoid to be further pursued by him. I don't have any social media, so I don't know how to proceed in that one that you mention. There must be a provision to block or report someone like it is the case on here GaG.

He definitely seem to want something from you and you should be careful not to give out information that would allow him to locate you and even to approach you. You never know what kind of creeps are hiding behind anonymity.

[Iggy200]

Maybe stalker since he didn’t back off when I wouldn’t reply. He wasn’t a perv or anything like that he’d just try to talk to me even when I didn’t pay him any attention.

[Nikki1989]

Huh, how does one pursue someone on a website?

[Iggy200]

He is consistent with trying to get to know me. For years he’d wish me happy birthday and was always messaging me even when I didn’t reply.

[EveryDayIsPretzelDay]

Pursuing someone on Instagram isn't the same as pursuing someone in real life. It doesn't take a lot of time or energy to like someone's posts, or write quick replies and comments.

If he's been "pursuing" you on social media for seven years, and hasn't tried to escalate and hasn't given up, it might just be habit for him.

It's also possible that he could be "pursuing" a large number of other women on social media as well.

Just a thought.

[spartan55]

Why does it surprise you? Using Instagram to 'pursue' someone is liking using a Ford Pinto to catch a Ferrari. It is so low effort and yet people think it's some sort of flattery.

[Iggy200]

It surprises me because wouldn’t one back off if they got no attention from their attempts? How is one suppose to make a bigger effort when the circumstances don’t allow it. Let’s say I thought you are attractive and I really thought I can be someone that can connect with you and I wanted an opportunity to get your attention, to see if we click. What options do I have to show you my efforts in gaining your attention? Can’t send you flowers… can’t approach you with a “good afternoon, my name is…. you look lovely.”

[spartan55]

Why can't you talk to them in person?

[spartan55]

@Iggy200
Why couldn't you just simply message back with a 'not interested'? You would have saved yourself a ton of hassle.
If your 'only way' to pursue someone is by using stupid Instagram then may want to consider a different person. So what happens if you get in a relationship with this person? You going to keep it alive over social media? It's a guaranteed fail, so why bother?

[bowenw]

He could be interested in a wishful thinking kind of way, but hopefully he is not wasting years of his life waiting.

[RRT_7511]

That’s a red flag, he sounds obsessive and isn’t able to take a hint. If you dated him and the relationship didn’t work, big chance he’s gonna be the biggest problem in your life

[Iron_Man]

He’s not that interested

[Zionne]

a 100% on that