Why do some men struggle to find genuine love instead of being used?

[Summeroflove]

A lot of men are being used and can’t figure it out (yes women are used too that’s not the question). A man can work at McDonalds flipping patties and find a partner who genuinely loves him and a man can be a millionaire and have a superficial relationship.

If you can create a genuine emotional depth with a woman she will do anything for you within reason. But it’s number one about finding the right woman first of all. Not everyone’s going to be attracted and stay attracted. It doesn’t always mean something is wrong with you or wrong with her it’s not meant to be.

[Anonymous]

2 reasons and it's pretty simple.

1. Most men are not attracted to the women who would actually love them. The women are too ugly, too fat, or the men simply are just not interested.

2. the women the men are attracted to generally would no cross the street to spit on these men. If they were the last man Earth the woman would choose to remain celibate. These women would only consider entertaining the thought of this man if she had something to gain from it. But even then it would only be temporary as she would have to stifle the vomit rising in her throat each and every day until she could move on to what she really wants.

As I read the description of your question though I will go into a deeper explanation though because this is at the heart of it. People choose the love that is FAMILIAR to them. I don't want get psychological here. But if a woman only understands toxic relationships, toxic men, toxic behaviors. Then YOU'RE just not f***ed up enough for her. She's always going to be attracted to the man that will put flamethrower to her world because that's what's familiar to her. 😆 I know it's f***ed up but it's also reality. She's actually doing you a favor when she rejects you. Because that woman would NEVER fit in your world.

It takes some guys a long time to understand this. This video does a pretty good job of explaining it.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Hvysy11716g

[Summeroflove]

The issue is there is physically attractive people who make amazing partners but people also project negative experiences onto them and just assume they must be bad as well

[Summeroflove]

But you’re right to the extent that they chase good looks that will fade away over a quality partner.

[Summeroflove]

And will tolerate bad behaviors. A woman who loves you will have respect. She won’t be perfect she’s human she has hormones. But she won’t intentionally disrespect you and feels genuine guilt when she hurts someone she loves.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, but most people read people like a forward of a book. They read a small blurb and think they have the gist. Most people never really know anybody. Because most people don't listen long enough to understand anybody. Most of their decisions are made based on their own (usually toxic experiences). This is why these women fail again and again.
What find truly amusing is the ones that come to G@G for answers. But they're still not even then. Because they're not trying to understand what they're doing wrong. I mean they are, but they not really willing to listen to what they've already decided is right. You can see how that kind of defeats the whole purpose.

[LiamJHayden]

Hormonal blindness. A lot of guys get lustful and miss all the red flags.

[Summeroflove]

That’s true. People think it only happens to women well some people

[Anonymous]

Because some men always fall for women who end up using them, and they often overlook more genuine or humble women. That’s why they struggle to find genuine love. Unless they change their mindset, it’s hard for them to find genuine love.

[Summeroflove]

It happens some people ignore red flags and some people like drama and toxicity and so they actually pursue them.

Now in some cases people are more manipulative and know how to pretend to be someone they’re not

[Summeroflove]

The later on they’re too attached when they show who they really are

[CherryLove007]

Simply it is the luck of the draw. The percentage of authentic people are extremely low. If your out there engaging in deep connections then all is fair. Eyes in the back of your head my dear ones.

[Anonymous]

A lot of rich people end up attracting gold diggers. You have to be careful.

[Summeroflove]

BOOM! You got it. It’s not a bad thing to have money but someone cannot genuinely fall in love with money. And a lot of dudes will fall for this. If they aren’t careful and can’t screen these women out

[Opinion Owner]

Agreed!

[Summeroflove]

But a lot of men think that a woman will fall in love with him based on facts about him. A genuine woman if she doesn’t feel an emotional connection will simply leave and not waste his time or hers.

A woman’s not going to fall in love with your job. The amount of money you make. Yada yada yada….. A woman will only genuinely fall for a man who she can build that emotional bond to. And guess what? None of that stuff really matters.

Obviously there is extremes like a man who can work but refuses etc.

[Opinion Owner]

You’re not wrong, but I have the feeling that we disagree about something really fundamental here. Maybe it’s the fact that you keep saying men when this applies to people of both genders.

[Summeroflove]

But dudes flaunt this stuff. The women who entertain this long term without any emotional connection. They’re not women picking them for the right reasons.

If she’s interested just because you flaunt your bank account. If that money was to some day be gone so will she. Sorry! A woman who loves you would stay by you.

Even if you keep your money. Someone will always have it more. Someone will be richer. And if she sees an opportunity she will take it and be gone.

Let’s say that never happens….. Thwse women will cheat. Narcissistic women will cheat because they feel no remorse and just want to experience. Other women may feel bad but they’re still seeking love deep down and will seek it in other people. I’m sorry. It doesn’t work if you’re being used.

You will be cheated 9/10 and discarded 9/10. Sooner or later. It could be sooner or 20 years down the road. But it will happen

[Opinion Owner]

You’re not wrong at all, but your warning applies to women and men who try to use them for their money too.

[Summeroflove]

Opinion Owner absolutely women are used for money. By the way it’s not just men who have money who get used it’s also men just working to make ends meet that women will use for free dates and gifts etc.

Now back on topic. Some men can be emotional manipulators. Yes, women do too give men money because they love them and that’s sad. Again many times women working to make ends meet.

[Opinion Owner]

Absolutely agree

Night!

[Summeroflove]

Real love is about the person. I love your soul….. not some title you have or your money or social status not that those are bad things to have but things can change.

But some men and women can be very manipulative. You have people who ignore obvious red flags. But some people really know how to pretend to be anyone they think someone else wants them to be

[MissSunshine2]

The baby boomers raised a generation partially composed of adult spoiled brats.

[NathanDavis]

because they're inadequate

[Zionne]

some men are just blind to see it